Hi all,
I got pregnant and that very instant I found out, I went to light a cigarette from the excitement of the news. That instant I got a reason big enough to quit despite the usual reasons I had used to keep smoking for 15 years.
Still didn't work...next day after I told my husband, I secretly kept smoking. I admitted my failure to him and got an ultimatum, which in it's weird way worked magic. At least I took my pack and cut into pieces to make a final gesture, to make that first step, to say I will not smoke!!!!
I had difficult time, first day, the only thought was that of a cigarette. I thought I will never enjoy anything I do unless it will be rewarded with cigarette. I felt very little satisfaction in anything, I was grieving the good times smoking more than I was celebrating the freedom of not.
The change didn't come with banners, it didn't feel like spreading the wings and flying, it was creeping in in it's tinniest miniature steps and in the end of each day I felt little happier.
I lost my baby to unknown reason on my 7th day without a cigarette. That day I decided I wanted to smoke more than anything in the world, but that day I finally started to hate it!!! Just as I went to buy the "I'm in misery" pack to drown my sorrows I snapped out the "poor me" bubble and told **** off to the craving and habit of lighting up as a defence mechanism.
This is my day 11 and to wrap up I want to say that every day I went to forum and read one of your stories to keep motivated and strong, so thank you all for fighting this monster and good luck. It can be done!
