Not going well

[nsd_user663_17077]

Today is harder than yesterday, but I am currently hanging in there. Ex just picked up son for first visit in over 4 weeks (since social workers handed him to me), so feeling nervous whether he will be ok. Neighbor girl is here for the day as I am babysitting. I am picking up son later to see how he is doing and decide if he can stay the night at dads. I keep hearing the voice in my head say, grab a pack for today, after son is ok, you can quit again...this is going to be a day of mental head games I fear

[nsd_user663_17077]

Hey, feeling a bit more stable again now. My son was so happy yesterday that I did not have a cig all day, I want to be able to tell him I have still not had one when I see him later!

Una - I cannot use NRT - the urine test will test for nicotine and cotinine (the break down product of nicotine). Nicotine has a half life of 2 hours, so will be gone by end of today/tomorrow, cotinine has a half life of 8 hours (from its production) so can hang around up to 3 weeks (I wonder if this is part of the 3 week issues?). So, have to go cold turkey.

I have got through this one, I will take neighbor girl to park soon, with no money to distract me!