So this is my third day of quitting. Has been a hard slog. Nothing new though. I must have tried 10 times in the past to give up. So tired of all of it - smoking, worrying about my health when i smoke, the worry about giving up smoking, giving up smoking, the trauma involved, the sneaking feeling that I'll never give up even when I have quit.
On day 1 I dropped my kids off at school and then went to the swimming pool. I used to swim well - for county, that sort of thing. Couldn't manage more than 6 lengths without stopping. I wanted to cry!
Anyways, day 3, hope day 4 will be better. Just need to believe that this can be the last time I ever need to go through all this again. The only truly great thing is I can look at my children and not feel a deep sense of guilt and shame, which I felt every time I had to excuse myself from playing with them to go and have a smoke. Awful right?
PS Is it me or do all the smokers come out on the first day you quit and blow smoke at you on purpose?