My last cigarette was exactly one week ago today. I am really proud of myself for getting through the first week. I realized that there were actually many times during this week that I simply forgot about smoking. I didn't crave a cigarette because it didn't occur to me to have one.
But, tonight it did. I realized it had been a whole week, and this voice in my head was like, go ahead, you can have one cigarette tonite. Obviously, this voice is something I should ignore, but it's very convincing.
Somewhere I read that the "typical" crave lasts 3 minutes, and you could try timing it. At 8:36 pm, it occurred to me that it would be nice to smoke, and at 8:39, it still sounded like a good idea. But at 8:42, it STILL sounded good, as it does now, at 9:14. I guess I am not your "typical" smoker! I have not smoked sine may 31, but I will not lie- lighting up right now sounds like the best thing ever to me!
So, I have the Allen Carr book, and I started reading it last night, but I only got thru chapter one before I fell asleep. I just got home and am fixing to pick up reading ch 2. But I am craving right now! Also, since this book advises that you continue to smoke until you finish reading the book, my mind is using that a an excuse to go ahead and have one now. But I cannot believe that the author would advise someone who had already gone one week without smoking to have a cigarette, so I'm not going to. But still...
I think part of it is, it is such a perfect summer night tonite. There are lightning bugs, and our small town is full of people out & about enjoying the perfect weather, smoking(!), and just being in the moment. We went to a bar downtown and had a beer outsude. The sun was setting, making intricate golden clouds in the corner of the sky. These are the kinds of moments I have always smoked, and will always want to smoke (I fear).
While I am proud of myself for making it a week, I am surprised by how badly I still want to smoke a cigarette.