Not killed anyone yet :p

Hi :)

Thanks to stupid Royal Mail I'm without my e-cig and have nearly got to the end of the working day without either brutally murdering anyone with a stapler or crawling into the next office and asking one of the girls for a ciggie.

Both were tempting at times but 1) I don't want to end up in prison and 2) Max would kill me, Sarah would whack me with her frying pan and Kat would hit me :p

Am trying to kick the e-cig (because I loathe being addicted to the bl**dy thing and 'cos I want to be nicotine free) and hope to ASAP but this wasn't in the plan!!

It's probably worse because I don't mind making the choice not to bring it but having the choice taken away isn't great, like when you were going somehwere you weren't allowed to smoke. One of the things I disagree with Allen Carr on where he says smokers like going places it's not allowed - that used to drive me up the wall :rolleyes:

Can't wait to be free of the flipping thing, but today's made me realise I've got a little way to go yet - it's almost like a quit part 2 :/

Just ranting :p

xxx

32 Replies

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  • By the sounds of it you have done absolutely BRILL today...

    I am close to killing but must restrain myself (stoopid patches, or rather lack of lol)

    Dont give in cos you are an inspiration to me and many more I am sure xx

  • Lol. Is that like The Hangover part 2? ;)

    You're doing great sweetie and have proven, once again, that you can manage even without the e-cig. Now we just need you to believe it! :D

    I understand what you're saying about choices. Things become much harder when that option is taken away from you.

    I think it's superb that you've made the decision to sort out the e-cig thing once and for all. I'm sure a lot of people in your situation would just decide that it's ok to use one because its not the real thing. But not our Gemma!!!

    Sending cuddles your way (and have put down my frying pan for the time being :o) xxx

  • By the sounds of it you have done absolutely BRILL today...

    I am close to killing but must restrain myself (stoopid patches, or rather lack of lol)

    Dont give in cos you are an inspiration to me and many more I am sure xx

    Thanks Amanda :)

    am not going to give in, and you won't either!! Hope you get your new patches soon!! xx

  • Tough times Gemma ;)

    As Amanda says you are a guide and an inspiration to many.Not 'cos you are sailing through your quit,because you are not-but because you are battling like a fighter and you will NOT let yourself fail.:D

    It's a no holds barred,all out bruising fistfight between us and Nicdemon-he is SO cunning,SO sneaky,he will creep up and thwack you just when you think it's all good..but the good thing is that the longer your quit,the weaker he becomes,that is absolutely true.

    What has shackled you Gemma love is that you unfortunately went off down a siding with the ECig which tied you to Nic still.You are not the first to do that, nor the last,I remember Nifty suffered terribly from the same thing.You still need to rip this piece of crap off your back,so get angry and let's do it!!!

    You will look back and remember how hard this fight was,but there will never be a better time nor better support to get this devil exorcised.

    It is tough :/

    Lol, I'm definitely not sailing through, was so much easier last time - which is why I'm so desperate for younger quitters especially to succeed!! But if I can inspire other people that's good :D

    Am determined to get off the e-cig ASAP, it won't be right away because I don't want to end up back on the fags but I'm definitely getting there.

    Know I've said before, but no matter how much I hate being hooked on the flipping thing and don't enjoy using it, I'd almost certainly be a smoker again by now if I'd not bought it. Seems a long time ago now, but it definitely came to being when I caved not if.

    When it arrives :/ I've got lower strength liquid coming for it, and that *should* help me get to the point where I can fling it in a drawer and forget about it :)

    Know that with the support I get from here plus being stubborn I can get free though!!

  • Lol. Is that like The Hangover part 2? ;)

    You're doing great sweetie and have proven, once again, that you can manage even without the e-cig. Now we just need you to believe it! :D

    I understand what you're saying about choices. Things become much harder when that option is taken away from you.

    I think it's superb that you've made the decision to sort out the e-cig thing once and for all. I'm sure a lot of people in your situation would just decide that it's ok to use one because its not the real thing. But not our Gemma!!!

    Sending cuddles your way (and have put down my frying pan for the time being :o) xxx

    Aww thanks hun :)

    I managed, just about without going raving mad and I definitely craved but held out!!

    Am definitely not going to stay using it for very long, it upsets me that despite having quit the fags I'm still an addict and that annoys me (although I didn't care in the least when I smoked) so it's got to go ASAP!!

    *Hugs* xxx

  • WELL DONE FOR GETTING THROUGH THE DAY!!!

    That's a big achievement hon so don't overlook it! I know it was rough but you DID get through and you can remind yourself of that when you reach for that e-cig - it wasn't easy and it wasn't fun but you DID get through without it, therefore you do not HAVE to have it next time it calls to you!

    Keep on trucking hon, you're doing really well and you ARE going to get there! Big hugs from the big toe of the county xxx

    Thanks Kat :)

    It's flipping horrible and am trying hard not to go off on one, lol.

    Apparently I was ranting at the TV earlier, about drugs of all things - how's that for irony?

    *Hugs* xxx

  • Done verywell, testing day no doubt. Your through it though, another notch on the base ball bat for Mr nicotine. Bat him to the moon, you win!!!:D

    Thanks Craig!! :D

    I want to bash his evil face in, lol

  • Thanks Kat :)

    It's flipping horrible and am trying hard not to go off on one, lol.

    Apparently I was ranting at the TV earlier, about drugs of all things - how's that for irony?

    *Hugs* xxx

    Haha! You rant at the tv all you want my dear. Just remember to have a good rant at our friend the nico-demon while you're at it ;) xxx

  • Haha! You rant at the tv all you want my dear. Just remember to have a good rant at our friend the nico-demon while you're at it ;) xxx

    Lol it does help!!

    Am feeling pretty flipping rubbish TBH :eek:

    xxx

  • Well I've got through the day :D

    I have fancied a smoke, but wasn't in any danger of actually having one - the very sudden e-cig withdrawal scared me a bit and made me crave but I hate the smell of fags by now so nope not having one!!

    Have been a grumpy cow all evening but at least I smell nice :p

    Thanks everyone xx

  • Well done sweet showing guts there :D tomorrow is a new day.

    Thanks Max :) Hopefully tomorrow will be better!!

  • Just in time

    Well just before I left home the postman came with the liquid for my e-cig (and more clothes, can never have enough of them :D)

    Am not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one :confused: - not for me anyway. It's good for everyone around me though!!

    It's kind of odd because I never had much of what a lot of smokers go through - smoking and hating it, yes I had my moments especially when i blew my last quit but it didn't last for very long and I never quit for myself before, was either guilt tripped into it or plain nagged. This quit was very sudden - went from being happy to smoke for the rest of my life to loathing it and quit a couple of days later - but now I'm using this e-cig (what do you call that? Smoking? Steaming? Don't know) and hate that I'm hooked on it.

    Anyway, enough self-pity - Sarah Lou suggested last night that I set a date and quit it so I will!!

    Flipping heck it's going to be like Day 1 all over again :eek:

  • Hi Gemma

    Hope you have a better day today hun x

  • Well just before I left home the postman came with the liquid for my e-cig (and more clothes, can never have enough of them :D)

    Am not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one :confused: - not for me anyway. It's good for everyone around me though!!

    It's kind of odd because I never had much of what a lot of smokers go through - smoking and hating it, yes I had my moments especially when i blew my last quit but it didn't last for very long and I never quit for myself before, was either guilt tripped into it or plain nagged. This quit was very sudden - went from being happy to smoke for the rest of my life to loathing it and quit a couple of days later - but now I'm using this e-cig (what do you call that? Smoking? Steaming? Don't know) and hate that I'm hooked on it.

    Anyway, enough self-pity - Sarah Lou suggested last night that I set a date and quit it so I will!!

    Flipping heck it's going to be like Day 1 all over again :eek:

    You will be absolutely fine my darling. You're a fighter and there's no chance of that nasty little devil getting his claws back into you. Kat, Max and I just wouldn't let it happen hun! :)

    I think the e-cig is referred to as "vaping". Lol. Sounds lovely.

    You can never have too many clothes and they're not bad for you, so shop away!! Just as long as you don't skint yourself in the process!

    xxx

  • Hi Gemma

    Hope you have a better day today hun x

    Thanks Amanda, hope you do too with your new patches!! xx

    You will be absolutely fine my darling. You're a fighter and there's no chance of that nasty little devil getting his claws back into you. Kat, Max and I just wouldn't let it happen hun! :)

    I think the e-cig is referred to as "vaping". Lol. Sounds lovely.

    You can never have too many clothes and they're not bad for you, so shop away!! Just as long as you don't skint yourself in the process!

    xxx

    Thanks Sarah :)

    More clothes is definitely brilliant - and cheap 'cos I buy from the Boohoo outlet on Ebay :D

    Am a bit nervous about kicking the e-cig, but yes I'll be fine especialyl with you guys as backup!!

    Ooh and lol @ vaping!!

    Ridiculous thing is that now the devil is whispering to me that because I had a rotten day yesterday I deserve to have more e-cig as a "treat" - go away you nasty yellow swine.

    Sorry if I scared any of you yesterday *blushes*

    xx

  • Thanks Amanda, hope you do too with your new patches!! xx

    Thanks Sarah :)

    More clothes is definitely brilliant - and cheap 'cos I buy from the Boohoo outlet on Ebay :D

    Am a bit nervous about kicking the e-cig, but yes I'll be fine especialyl with you guys as backup!!

    Ooh and lol @ vaping!!

    Ridiculous thing is that now the devil is whispering to me that because I had a rotten day yesterday I deserve to have more e-cig as a "treat" - go away you nasty yellow swine.

    Sorry if I scared any of you yesterday *blushes*

    xx

    Yeah, I guess that will happen now that you've got the e-cig back. The dirty little nico-demon thinks you should make up for yesterday's loss.

    Maybe you could practice some of the methods you used when you stopped smoking, just to help get you through without needing to use it anymore than usual? Deep breathing, drinking lots of water, mumbling positive thoughts to yourself? :)

    I think this is part of those downsides we were discussing about e-cigs. If you let it get to you, it will become your dummy. ;)

    Come on Gem, you don't need to let it control you. You can control it, because you're awesome and strong and you don't need it! And it's a filthy, horrible, mean thing! Lol xxx

  • Hi Gemma-Lou,

    I think you need to cut yourself some slack. Be nice to yourself and stop beating yourself up over using your e-cig.

    OK it's better not to start them. But you have. I have used them as well, so I understand. They have kept your quit. Some people can do cold turkey, some can't. If we were all the same there wouldn't be any need for a forum :eek:. Imagine life without Carol's cats or the quiz.

    The most important thing is, you haven't smoked a cigarette. You haven't kicked the nicotine, but it will be doable eventually. Just relax.

    I am retired, and my bad times were when I was at home on my own. So when I was ready I introduced a rule that I left my e-cig at home at all times. When I was out and about I did without as I was occupied, I knew it was at home for me. I tried to go out somewhere everyday (abusing the bus pass!) and soon got used to not using it so much. Smoking masks many conditions and moods, and cold turkey stopping can leave us reeling and unable to function.

    It may be different for you if you work so you might do it the other way round. Use it at work if you're in danger of cracking, but make do without at home when you're free, relaxed and can eat, drink or potter.

    Your time will come, but some of us need to take it in stages.

    Love toucan x

  • Hi Gemma-Lou,

    I think you need to cut yourself some slack. Be nice to yourself and stop beating yourself up over using your e-cig.

    OK it's better not to start them. But you have. I have used them as well, so I understand. They have kept your quit. Some people can do cold turkey, some can't. If we were all the same there wouldn't be any need for a forum :eek:. Imagine life without Carol's cats or the quiz.

    The most important thing is, you haven't smoked a cigarette. You haven't kicked the nicotine, but it will be doable eventually. Just relax.

    I am retired, and my bad times were when I was at home on my own. So when I was ready I introduced a rule that I left my e-cig at home at all times. When I was out and about I did without as I was occupied, I knew it was at home for me. I tried to go out somewhere everyday (abusing the bus pass!) and soon got used to not using it so much. Smoking masks many conditions and moods, and cold turkey stopping can leave us reeling and unable to function.

    It may be different for you if you work so you might do it the other way round. Use it at work if you're in danger of cracking, but make do without at home when you're free, relaxed and can eat, drink or potter.

    Your time will come, but some of us need to take it in stages.

    Love toucan x

    Well said Toucan :) x

  • Yeah, I guess that will happen now that you've got the e-cig back. The dirty little nico-demon thinks you should make up for yesterday's loss.

    Maybe you could practice some of the methods you used when you stopped smoking, just to help get you through without needing to use it anymore than usual? Deep breathing, drinking lots of water, mumbling positive thoughts to yourself? :)

    I think this is part of those downsides we were discussing about e-cigs. If you let it get to you, it will become your dummy. ;)

    Come on Gem, you don't need to let it control you. You can control it, because you're awesome and strong and you don't need it! And it's a filthy, horrible, mean thing! Lol xxx

    THanks hun!!

    He's a persuasive little b***er isn't he?

    Am fighting it though, I have to get off it and it's easier in a way 'cos although this one is meant to be "triple menthol" it hardly tastes of anything - let alone menthol ciggies (which I used to quite like) more like smelling faint chewing gum :confused:

    Am going to fight the thing as much as possible - know I can do it!! xxx

  • Gemma don't put yourself under too much pressure love,anyone of us can only grapple for so long before we get weary

    Sarah is right and she is also absolutely a top friend to be there if/when you do elect a date to cut this thing off.So watch out cos I will be there too Kat too I expect,and we will rip this demon off your back! BUT in the meantime,you be kind to yourself x

    Thanks Max :)

    I know you'll be there for me, and I really appreciate it!!

    Am a bit concerned about getting punch-drunk with it all *but* I won't smoke so that's good :D x

  • Hi Gemma-Lou,

    I think you need to cut yourself some slack. Be nice to yourself and stop beating yourself up over using your e-cig.

    OK it's better not to start them. But you have. I have used them as well, so I understand. They have kept your quit. Some people can do cold turkey, some can't. If we were all the same there wouldn't be any need for a forum :eek:. Imagine life without Carol's cats or the quiz.

    The most important thing is, you haven't smoked a cigarette. You haven't kicked the nicotine, but it will be doable eventually. Just relax.

    I am retired, and my bad times were when I was at home on my own. So when I was ready I introduced a rule that I left my e-cig at home at all times. When I was out and about I did without as I was occupied, I knew it was at home for me. I tried to go out somewhere everyday (abusing the bus pass!) and soon got used to not using it so much. Smoking masks many conditions and moods, and cold turkey stopping can leave us reeling and unable to function.

    It may be different for you if you work so you might do it the other way round. Use it at work if you're in danger of cracking, but make do without at home when you're free, relaxed and can eat, drink or potter.

    Your time will come, but some of us need to take it in stages.

    Love toucan x

    Thanks Toucan :)

    Wish I hadn't started on it but like you say, some people can't do CT and I have very little willpower so it's better than the alternative :eek:

    Can cope better at work than at home 'cos if I'm busy Nic doesn't have so much time to nag me but when it gets slack here or if I'm messing about at home it's worse. It's a good idea to set rules with it, will definitely do that!! x

  • Reason number I've lost count to quit the e-cig: My breath smells like tobacco :/

    Not like it used to I'm sure but I don't like it :mad::rolleyes:

  • Reason number I've lost count to quit the e-cig: My breath smells like tobacco :/

    Not like it used to I'm sure but I don't like it :mad::rolleyes:

    I'll have none of this now young lady (who is 4 years older than me! lol).

    Please, be happy at your achievement!! How many days have you gone now without a cigarette? How many have you not smoked? And how much money have you saved? What are the benefits?

    Remember how far you've come!!

    We'll kick that nasty e-cig (I don't like that it's making you feel so bad :(), but don't forget about why you're here in the first place!

    You are amazing!! Don't forget it! *Arms self with frying pan to knock some sense into Gemma* xxx

  • I'll have none of this now young lady (who is 4 years older than me! lol).

    Please, be happy at your achievement!! How many days have you gone now without a cigarette? How many have you not smoked? And how much money have you saved? What are the benefits?

    Remember how far you've come!!

    We'll kick that nasty e-cig (I don't like that it's making you feel so bad :(), but don't forget about why you're here in the first place!

    You are amazing!! Don't forget it! *Arms self with frying pan to knock some sense into Gemma* xxx

    Aww thanks hun :)

    And definitely lol!!

    My app says I've gone 136 days smoke free, I haven't smoked 2,729 fags (um, and the rest *eek*) saved £1,091 and given myself an extra 11days 8 hours 54m to live - or is that the time I'd have spent with a fag in my gob, not sure? Must be the extra life surely!!

    I'm really happy to have quit smoking, that's fab and I love not having to stress about if I smell of smoke, or worry about breathing Marlboro fumes all over people, or stopping what I'm doing to grab a smoke, or smoking as fast as possible so I don't miss anything, standing in the rain with a fag, wondering what the hell I'm doing to myself and all of that!! It's just getting the last step done!!

    Think the feeling bad thing will pass, I tend to go in phases like that lol - did with the cigarettes as well to an extent although that was more important 'cos they were bad for me.

    *Hides so she doesn't get a whack* xxx

  • Aww thanks hun :)

    And definitely lol!!

    My app says I've gone 136 days smoke free, I haven't smoked 2,729 fags (um, and the rest *eek*) saved £1,091 and given myself an extra 11days 8 hours 54m to live - or is that the time I'd have spent with a fag in my gob, not sure? Must be the extra life surely!!

    I'm really happy to have quit smoking, that's fab and I love not having to stress about if I smell of smoke, or worry about breathing Marlboro fumes all over people, or stopping what I'm doing to grab a smoke, or smoking as fast as possible so I don't miss anything, standing in the rain with a fag, wondering what the hell I'm doing to myself and all of that!! It's just getting the last step done!!

    Think the feeling bad thing will pass, I tend to go in phases like that lol - did with the cigarettes as well to an extent although that was more important 'cos they were bad for me.

    *Hides so she doesn't get a whack* xxx

    Maybe instead of the whack, we could have a celebratory cocktail for being totally awesome :cool:

    And it's definately time for dearest Max to take us somewhere else on The Penthouse Express this weekend. Oi, Max, pull yer finger out?! :D x

  • Cheeky git! ;)

    I'm on the wrong thread really, so see you on the Penthouse thread later on! :)

  • Maybe instead of the whack, we could have a celebratory cocktail for being totally awesome :cool:

    And it's definately time for dearest Max to take us somewhere else on The Penthouse Express this weekend. Oi, Max, pull yer finger out?! :D x

    Ooh yes that sounds much better!!

    Will still have a headache :p but it'll be a lot more fun getting there!!

    Sarah love this thing is easy to drive,even a woman can do it :D:D

    Time for someone to drive me around,lead on! x

    picgifs.com/graphics/h/humo...

    Cheeky git! ;)

    I'm on the wrong thread really, so see you on the Penthouse thread later on! :)

    No worries Sarah, it's making me laugh so it's all good :)

  • Well the good news is that I can feel that this liquid is weaker than the last one - unfortunately they only do 24 and 16mg strengths or I'd buy lower but hopefully it's going to help me get down off the flipping thing.

    It's kind of odd. Am delighted not to smoke any more - I still fancy a ciggie sometimes but don't intend to have one, think this quit is for good now - but there's this sort of voice (am not mental!!) that tells me that I've failed 'cos I still need the e-cig.

    Not going to fight too hard for the next few days, don't want to burn myself out or upset myself too much. Then pick a day and choose my weapons for finishing the job.

    Massive thankyous to everyone who's helped, listened and cheered me up, I owe you!! xxx

  • Well the good news is that I can feel that this liquid is weaker than the last one - unfortunately they only do 24 and 16mg strengths or I'd buy lower but hopefully it's going to help me get down off the flipping thing.

    It's kind of odd. Am delighted not to smoke any more - I still fancy a ciggie sometimes but don't intend to have one, think this quit is for good now - but there's this sort of voice (am not mental!!) that tells me that I've failed 'cos I still need the e-cig.

    Not going to fight too hard for the next few days, don't want to burn myself out or upset myself too much. Then pick a day and choose my weapons for finishing the job.

    Massive thankyous to everyone who's helped, listened and cheered me up, I owe you!! xxx

    Awwww, you really are struggling with this "Gemma is doing so well" thing, aren't you?

    I would say that, while you're feeling weak (not that I think you're weak you just sound fed up about it), it's best not to push anything and just use your e-cig as normal. Then, like you say, when this grey cloud passes you can pick your day and we'll all be here to help you through it.

    The main thing for the moment is to stay happy. E-cigs are doing to you what cigarettes were doing before!! Making you feel like a failure, which you are not :( Horribble damned things! :mad: Just remember that YOU ARE NOT KILLING YOURSELF. You are still doing a great job, but you've leant on the e-cig like a crutch (just as you thought may happen) and now you need to pull yourself up and be strong again :)

    You've done a great job up until now. You just need to keep your faith and remember that these bad days do pass. When they do, and you're feeling yourself again, it's time to fight! xxx

  • Awwww, you really are struggling with this "Gemma is doing so well" thing, aren't you?

    I would say that, while you're feeling weak (not that I think you're weak you just sound fed up about it), it's best not to push anything and just use your e-cig as normal. Then, like you say, when this grey cloud passes you can pick your day and we'll all be here to help you through it.

    The main thing for the moment is to stay happy. E-cigs are doing to you what cigarettes were doing before!! Making you feel like a failure, which you are not :( Horribble damned things! :mad: Just remember that YOU ARE NOT KILLING YOURSELF. You are still doing a great job, but you've leant on the e-cig like a crutch (just as you thought may happen) and now you need to pull yourself up and be strong again :)

    You've done a great job up until now. You just need to keep your faith and remember that these bad days do pass. When they do, and you're feeling yourself again, it's time to fight! xxx

    *Looks sheepish*

    Yeah I am a bit, am fine usually it's just some days I feel a bit bad about it!!

    Definitely agree about not pushing anything at the mo 'cos it's only going to make me feel bad which isn't going to help!!

    It's silly really, like you say I'm not hurting myself or anything but it does feel like cheating or something - but I know if I hadn't got it then I'd be smoking again so it's a plus really. Just wish I'd not gone and got myself hooked on the flipping thing.

    The way you use yours is fab, it takes the crave away and you're not hooked on it, but using it as my only NRT was a huge mistake. Anyway if I can quit fags I can quit this thing!!

    *Slaps a grin on her face* But I will get off it and I've got lovely friends on here to help me!! xxx

  • Bless you, crumbs, if you beat up the nicotine monster anywhere near as much as you beat yourself up he'd be a bedraggled, limp heap in the corner! DO NOT STRESS!!! IT IS GOING TO BE OK!!!

    D'Artagnan is already standing bravely by your side, her sword at the ready, Pathos and I will answer the call to arms whenever you should be ready to shout "en garde" in the direction of the smelly little oik!

    ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE!:D

    Lol, that's true!!

    And thanks, I know you'll help me beat the little yellow git up :D xx

  • What excellent posts from Kat and Sarah :)

    GEMMA!!! You need to avoid a potential double whammy of 1) convincing yourself that you have failed somehow and 2) that-causing you to get sucked back into real fags

    remember you have quit real fags, statistically only 4-5% of people who start a quit actually make it permanent and maybe 8-15% make it to 5 months.You have done already what most people who smoke cannot do-QUIT!!!:D

    Be proud really,be proud of yourself 'cos we are xx

    Thanks Max!!

    I do feel proud of that and it had been hard - especially with the % who don't make it, although I'm sure it's a lot higher than that!!

    Am not far off 5 months now so that's good :D

    You're right about how I could convince myself I'd failed and that make me lapse, have talked myself into failing before but I do think this time's different.

    Anyway how could I smoke when I'd fel like I'd let you guys down?

    xxx

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