Okay, so I've caved.
I've gone online and ordered myself an e-cig. The plan being to use this for emergency situations only.
What I've learned over the last three weeks is that I do not like the smell of cigarettes, I do not suffer from cravings when working (nor when i'm at home during the week), I don't like the control that smoking can have if you let it, I like my skin since quittig.
However, if it was healthy and did not smell, I would happily smoke away.
I have no idea if I'm going to end up becoming an "e-smoker", or weaning myself off in the future, but I just want to do what works for me.
This weekend has left me wondering when I'm going to fail, and I've decided that I'd like to have a back up, rather than pick up a smelly cigarette.
Maybe in the future I can gain some more faith in myself and stop smoking anything cigarette shaped.
I'm not sure if this change in my path will be more of a risk, but I need some help and my will power is very up and down.
I asked myself earlier if it's better to cave into an e-cig or cave into a real cig. Neither is a great solution for someone who hasn't even held a cigarette for 23 days, but I'm hoping that I might find something that works for me without being detrimental to my health.
I guess I decided that I'm telling you all this because I KNOW I'd have bought myself a pack of cigarettes by now if it wasn't for you this weekend.