day 1 and observations

[nsd_user663_40088]

Hey all! Hope everyone is getting on ok and not finding it too difficult!

I have been trying to quit now for nearly two years. My longest quit was 3 months and i stupidily FORCED a fag down my throat to combat bad feelings, and i mean forced because i did not crave the damm thing at all.

Anyways i have found it really hard to make any other quit stick, i guess because it nocks your confidence abit when you go that long and start again.

Anyways i was watching allen carr videos today, great man, and it really got me thinking and noticing my thought patterns, and i want to share because i believe it may help those also trying to combat such thoughts.

So my mum smokes and i live with her (im 24) and as i sat accross the room looking at a half chipped fag in the ashtray i found myself thinking 'mmm that looks beautiful! mmm could really do with one of them' and then i thought 'what the hell is beautiful about it'? but still i found myself wanting it, going over the usual reasoning 'just one' 'what am i going to do in social situations? maybe now isnt the right time' ' ya know i like smoking, its me ya know!?' and i remembered allen carr and then thought 'well actually i hate waking up with this dire need to a digusting fag, i hate what it does to my skin, I hate how i cant work out as hard as i want because of my chest, and i could spend the money on much better things!'

and i thought.....what is it i actualy like so much about it that I want to have in spite of the health risks, cost and damage to my appearence?...da-duh its just the illusions of the addiction that tell me all these positives of smoking, my normal Nicola brain hates the fact that I do it.

The penny dropped and i am happy to continue now into day 2 of this quit. but i remain fully aware i may have to remember this penny numerous times until those beautiful days come (and they do believe me) where one evening you think 'omg i did not think about having a fag all day for the first time in 1o years!'

Its worth it everyone, but even though i have experienced this it is still hard, so be on your gaurd and trust you will get there.

Amen xxxx