Tonight I'm away from home, with work.
Happens a lot, usually co-workers around with whom to share laughs, food, a couple of drinks and the inevitable conversation that you may recognise:
"we're trying not to talk about work, but we didn't choose to work with each other, aren't really friends but we get on fine, we're pushed together by circumstance so here we are." So we end up talking mostly about work.
Not tonight - I'm on my own, and with the exception of the anonymous faces in a hotel restaurant, this will be the first time 'alone' for more than an hour or so since my last fag. No family, friends or co-workers around with whom to share the small talk, and I really don't want to spend the evening on the phone.
So I think I'll get some food and a glass of something and read the paper. Or check in here, watch a movie, something else.
What I'm not going to do is smoke. I was thinking just now that it still appears to be tough at times. And then i checked myself and thought "so precisely, exactly, right to the inch - just how tough is it...really?"
It's day 42, that's a long time. Or not very long? I don't know actually, and while my method is officially cold turkey, it's actually mental defiance and I refuse to EVER be beaten by a plant again.
"So day 42 just how hard is it 'Hawkeye', what are you feeling right now?"
Actually guys - it's great from where I'm sitting. I really feel stronger than I did just two weeks ago. Yes I'm still conscious of the fact that I'm a former smoker, but it's amazing how the work 'former' is more cemented into my life with each day that passes. I don't see any reason why evening 42 shouldn't be just fine.
We can't 'like' or use a #hashtag here, but thanks to Gladi8or - I'm still reading choice posts, and never was my peer group of quit buddies the Christmas Conquorers more aptly named.