Relapse after two years... Help!!

hey guys,

I reached the two year smoke free mark on NYE... however, for some weeks I was having HUGE cravings... I think it was because I have had a bit of stress. Recently my (much loved) Ex contacted me after three years, but told me he has a child and has moved 100 miles away. I have found the whole thing very stressful because I still have very strong feelings for him.

anyway, I have tried to resist, but for the past 5 days I have been smoking. I have only had a total about 10, but its enough to have triggered the withdrawals in a BIG way because I have now stopped again. I have an inhalator which is stopping me from going to the shops and buying more, but I am very uncomfortable.

I was so proud of being two years smoke free... I can't believe I was so stupid, but I refuse to let it get out of hand.

HELP.

39 Replies

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  • Dont beat yourself up about it, you were off guard but now back on the quiting road again.

    2 yrs! it seems a life time away for me, only on day 6 :( but i try to stay positive & finding lots to do instead of nipping out to have a fag.

    Never quit quiting is what they say, so lots of luck this time, get through it any way you can & remember what ever life throws at us, lighting up a fag really doesn't change a thing (thats what i keep telling myself & i've resisted 6 days

    Be proud of those 2yrs & just get back on the horse :p you done it once, you can do it again.

    Lots of luck

    Take care

    Trudy :)

  • Hi Vicki, I have to agree with Lostie, you've had a rough time and a hiccup, it's amazing how the nicotine monster still lurks, particularly when we are most vulnerable.

    The most important thing is you've realised that smoking again is ridiculous and doesn't help by stopping again. You will have a few urges you'll need to ride out but the associations will be less and easier to break.

    Good luck and stay strong, you really don't need them x

    Karen

  • thanks guys...

    I am only seeing this as a glitch, I am not seeing this as a new quit. otherwise I would cry. :(

  • Hi Vicki. You have done amazingly well to control it at 10 fags and then re-start your quit. That is hard enough to do without the added complication of the business with your ex, so extremely well done. I think you are entirely justified in regarding this as a glitch, and don't need to regard it as a new quit. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. :)

  • Vicki, my quit bud :( I'm so sorry.

    You're not the first, nor will you be the last, to fall at such a hurdle after such a long quit. All of us are just one puff away from that scenario, and sudden emotional trauma can really derail you so that you act in crazy ways. I wish you had posted on here before smoking, we would have talked you through it!

    But, big up to you for stopping it in its tracks before you are right back to being a full on smoker again. It actually takes a lot of guts not to just say 'ah, sod it, I've ruined it now, might as well quit.' It shows you're made of strong stuff.

    It's inevitably going to be tough for you for a while now. You've woken the beast, and you're feeling down, so wrestling it back into its cage is going to be a real job. But you HAVE to power through now. You've come so far, you don't want to be a smoker again, so whatever it takes, don't light up again. And you know, from beating this monster before, what you need to do it: a positive attitude, determination. You can do this. And it won't take long before you're fully back on track.

    Take care,

    Helen x

  • I'm onto day two... the withdrawals are much more bareable and the cravings are less too... give it a couple more days and I will have cracked it, hopefully.

    thanks for your support.

  • Dont worry Vicki, in the grand scheme of things, its not really that big a deal. BUT.... can i just say, seriously, theres SEVEN BILLION people on this planet, and you're prepared to risk you health on 1 single person???!

  • Was sad to hear this but dead chuffed youve decided to get back with the quit. Nothing is worth smoking for, it never makes it better. a quit is not just for christmas, i learned that lesson myself a while back. I truly beleive your heart will mend quicker and more completely by staying away from smoking.

    All the best

    Mash x

  • Not wasted

    Hi Karri

    If you can come out with word of wisdom like that, which can help people, then I have to say your experiences of the last 6 years were not a waste.:)

  • I second that!!

  • Sorry to hear this but 5 days is not the end its the beginning of the next 3 years, it teaches us all that its never easy to give up and that its never possible to say I can let down my guard because maybe that will be the day when we are more vulnerable than is good for us, I am just glad that you are strong enough to butt the nicco demon up the jacksie and say no more.

    As for your X he is not only hurting you but probably hurting his new partner the way he did you when he left, for some the grass will always be sweeter on the other side and sadly I think he is one of those.

    Get out their girl and find someone who will love this none smoker for her true worth.

  • Hi Vicki,

    I lost a 2 year quit and it took me about 16 years to get one back again! You've had a blip but you are straight back on it. I have every faith you will keep it up.

    Keep on being strong, you have proved you can do it :D

    Hugs, Gaynor xxx

  • You are exceptionally strong to succumb to nicotine again and get right back on the quit track. I quit for two years, and just one random thought of how my mind perceived smokes to be a good thing in the past had me smoking secretly for 1.5 years. Not worth the trouble with family, health, sense of wellbeing at all. 7 months quit now, and I regret restarting again still. I would be so far ahead of where I actually am. Good for you for saying no to the nicodemon! Remember your reasons for quitting and stick with the quit!

  • awww vicki im sorry to hear this but glad that you are getting right back on track!! that is whats most important!! keep moving foward!

    just shows us that we can never ever be off our guard no matter how long we have quit....we are in control---always!! as you know smoking makes nothing better///life will happen with or without smoking!!

    all the best and keep on you quit:)

  • Vicki it's a pity that curcunstances have made you go back on the cigs but I have no doubt you will quit again and I wish you all the best.

    --------------------------------------------

    New members who may have been reading this thread may be thinking that cravings are going to be there forever.

    There are several people on this forum who have quit and have stayed quit even when times have not been so good. I have lost several friends and family members in the time I have been quit but not once did I think that I needed a cig.

    When I started my quit five years tomorrow I struggled for the first few days/weeks but things quickly got easier by the six month mark I rarely if ever thought about smoking.

    This is my worry, guess i will just have to realise that i am an addict, just like people who have drug or alcohol addiction, it's something that is never going to leave me. Ashamed to say it, but I am 48 years old and have smoked for 40 of those years!

    But, day 17, can only try :)

  • Vicki, my quit bud :( I'm so sorry.

    You're not the first, nor will you be the last, to fall at such a hurdle after such a long quit. All of us are just one puff away from that scenario, and sudden emotional trauma can really derail you so that you act in crazy ways. I wish you had posted on here before smoking, we would have talked you through it!

    But, big up to you for stopping it in its tracks before you are right back to being a full on smoker again. It actually takes a lot of guts not to just say 'ah, sod it, I've ruined it now, might as well quit.' It shows you're made of strong stuff.

    It's inevitably going to be tough for you for a while now. You've woken the beast, and you're feeling down, so wrestling it back into its cage is going to be a real job. But you HAVE to power through now. You've come so far, you don't want to be a smoker again, so whatever it takes, don't light up again. And you know, from beating this monster before, what you need to do it: a positive attitude, determination. You can do this. And it won't take long before you're fully back on track.

    Take care,

    Helen x

    Inspiring post for your friend, and all of us!!

  • Hey Guys.

    Firstly, thanks to those of you who sent positive posts... my relapse goes to show noone is safe from the very unpleasent mix of stress and cravings.

    Anyway, I thought I'd update you. I smoked for a few days in the first week of the new year... frankly I hated every single one of them, and was so disappointed with myself I stopped again. However, following a VERY stressful conversation with my Ex BF I effectively ending contact with him, this was at 5 days smoke free. I felt the stress of not smoking and enduring cravings while so upset about going NC with him was too much so decided to allow myself to smoke for a short period... this period ended yesterday and I am now back on the wagon.

    I have no intention of becoming a smoker again and will not allow myself to be sucked in by it. Interestingly the physical effects of smoking returned very quickly... feeling tired, getting out of breath, crackly lungs and the STINK. I would like to say that I felt my cravings were satisfied, but they weren't because I only allowed myself silkcut silver... they are such low nicotine levels that they are pointless.

    All in all, my relapse was a major let down in every way... smoking is pretty shit really. The good thing thats come out of it is that I now know just how pointless it is.

    Note to the newbie: once your past the witdrawals you have done the hard bit... cravings are fleeting, but beware of them. even 2 years down the line they can trip you up if you are not completely on top of them... let my relapse be a lesson to us all. :)

  • Wow, it's so cool to have you back!

    I hope that if I ever fall I'll get back to it as quickly.

    Thanks for posting and I know yet another really good source of advice!

    I'm so happy for you that you've got off them again so quickly :)

    Molly x

  • Good for you Vicki, 1 for quitting again and 2 for sorting out your love life (not easy) Onwards and Upwards for you now.xx

  • Vicki it's a pity that curcunstances have made you go back on the cigs but I have no doubt you will quit again and I wish you all the best.

    --------------------------------------------

    New members who may have been reading this thread may be thinking that cravings are going to be there forever.

    There are several people on this forum who have quit and have stayed quit even when times have not been so good. I have lost several friends and family members in the time I have been quit but not once did I think that I needed a cig.

    When I started my quit five years tomorrow I struggled for the first few days/weeks but things quickly got easier by the six month mark I rarely if ever thought about smoking.Phil... thanks for your reply... although, I am somewhat suprised at the unsupportive, almost sanctimonious tone of it.

    You are lucky to have the strength to have found staying quit such a breeze, but it might be a good think to bare in mind that everyone is different, and deals with stress and upset very differently. I feel that its unproductive to give the false impression that within six months of quitting EVERYONE will be cravings free, its simply NOT THE CASE.

    I struggled for a number of weeks before I caved... I am NOT happy that I did. I have learnt from in. Reading your post has just made me feel ten times worse about it, so thanks for that. :rolleyes::mad:

  • Vicki it's a pity that curcunstances have made you go back on the cigs but I have no doubt you will quit again and I wish you all the best.

    --------------------------------------------

    New members who may have been reading this thread may be thinking that cravings are going to be there forever.

    There are several people on this forum who have quit and have stayed quit even when times have not been so good. I have lost several friends and family members in the time I have been quit but not once did I think that I needed a cig.

    When I started my quit five years tomorrow I struggled for the first few days/weeks but things quickly got easier by the six month mark I rarely if ever thought about smoking.

    Hi Phil,

    Like you, I hit the six month mark rarely thinking about smoking, then a few drinks too many and I fell hard. Unlike Vicki, I kept falling. Two months later, I'm gearing up for another quit and will use you and Vicki (amongst others) as inspiration.

    This forum is a valuable resource, new quitters need to be involved. Any time the urge to smoke is too great, read a few posts and write a few replies. Before too long, the urge is past and you can move on with your day. I am going on holiday starting Jan 31st which will be my new quit date. When I return,if not before, I aim to return to being a regular visitor here, starting on day one and taking each day as it comes.

    Congratulations Vicki, both for a two year quit and for not falling all the way. Hope to be seeing more of you guys again.

  • Hi Phil,

    Like you, I hit the six month mark rarely thinking about smoking, then a few drinks too many and I fell hard. Unlike Vicki, I kept falling. Two months later, I'm gearing up for another quit and will use you and Vicki (amongst others) as inspiration.

    This forum is a valuable resource, new quitters need to be involved. Any time the urge to smoke is too great, read a few posts and write a few replies. Before too long, the urge is past and you can move on with your day. I am going on holiday starting Jan 31st which will be my new quit date. When I return,if not before, I aim to return to being a regular visitor here, starting on day one and taking each day as it comes.

    Congratulations Vicki, both for a two year quit and for not falling all the way. Hope to be seeing more of you guys again. don't worry about the two month blip Keith, it happens. The goal is just to be able to say off the bloody things. I have noticed a very rapid improvement in my energy levels ect and its only been 48 hours... you'll be relieved when you bite the bullet. it really is true that you can't even have one isn't it... once you are off them you really can't touch them again. good luck with your re-quit. x

  • It takes bottle to come on here and admit you lost a 2 year quit Vicki.

    It takes even more bottle and massive mental strength to nip it in the bud quickly and get back on the quit train.

    Massive, massive respect to you. :cool:

  • I struggled for a number of weeks before I caved... I am NOT happy that I did. I have learnt from in.

    Hi Vicki :)

    Know exactly how you're feeling - I'd quit for about 18 months 2008-2010 and for about 6 weeks before I caved, was getting really strong cravings. They came out of nowhere, and unfortunately, I had a row and thought "blow it" (or something a bit like that :p ) and started again.

    It's brilliant that you have done something about it though - you're obviously strong and like Capitan says, brave to come on here to admit it.

    Good luck with your new quit

    Gemma :)

  • thanks guys... on on day five now, and to be honest, the hardest part of stopping again was committing to it... I have been lucky so far because its been like returning to normal rather than giving something up.

    I do see this as a blip though... I don't feel that a 15 day relapse is a total collapse of my quit... otherwise I'd probably still be smoking. mentally it feels less bad if I look it it that way... plus its harsh to write off a two year long quit. Thats to way I'm looking at it anyway. :)

  • thanks guys... on on day five now, and to be honest, the hardest part of stopping again was committing to it... I have been lucky so far because its been like returning to normal rather than giving something up.

    I do see this as a blip though... I don't feel that a 15 day relapse is a total collapse of my quit... otherwise I'd probably still be smoking. mentally it feels less bad if I look it it that way... plus its harsh to write off a two year long quit. Thats to way I'm looking at it anyway. :)

    Quite right too Vicky.I am with you all the way on that! Well done for getting back to it straight away!:)

  • I think you have it sussed there Vicki when you say 'Its been like returning to normal'

    Maybe if we could think of normal as not smoking,and think of smoking as being hard,even impossible to do,then thank God I dont have to start smoking today dont think I am up to it,maybe next week:DHa... well it was defo the best way to deal with a relapse. I am 6 days smoke-free and so far no crazing that were hard to resist. I MUCH prefer not smoking, so in some ways the was a blessing, because I would always've thought I was missing out on something.

  • Vicki

    It has taken great strength to come on here and tell us your story, but even more strength and determination to get back to as you say 'normal'. What you are achieving is absolutely amazing in my eyes. Good for you Vicki.

    Fi x

  • hey guys... just a quick update... am still smoke-free. its been nearly two weeks since the resumption of my quit and other than my appetite increasing its been fine... the cravings are tolerable and I am generally happier and more content that I was before the relapse because I no longer feel the urge to smoke...

  • thanks guys...

    I am only seeing this as a glitch, I am not seeing this as a new quit. otherwise I would cry. :(

    I'm with you on that Vicki

    Hope all goes well

    xx

  • Two year... it sounds almost imposable. Don't blame yourself for mistake, you fixed it!

  • hey Guys,

    just thought I'd check in with you guys.

    I am still smoke free... that little relapse was just that, not a total disintergration of my quit.

    since my re-quit alot of stressful stuff has happened and luckily I haven't even thought of smoking. firstly I had an accident and broke my elbow and three ribs, then a friends 18 year old daughter died, and finally I suffered a miscarriage. this all happened in the space of about 4 weeks. not good!

    my arm is getting better and my ribs are pretty much ok now ( its been 7 weeks since my accident). its crazy that I managed to deal with that lot without reaching for the fags, but my Ex got me smoking... bizzare!!!

    anyway, I hope you are all well. :)

  • Good to see you are doing ok vicki. That is a lot to handle in a short period of time. Awesome you could get right back on the easy breathing path after 15 days. When I smoked after two years quit last time, I found myself right back to full time smoker for a year and a half. I have much respect for your drive and determination to suss this once and for all. Breathing easy with you, Vike.

  • omg

    so sorry to read all whats happen to you vicki, sending you a big hug. x but you can kick the ass out of C -sticks for good this time x

  • just saw this vicki. i hope you are doing better now! you have done great and i have no doubt you will get better....you have proved to yourself that you can do it so you will again...would love to know how you are as i have not been on here in quite a while!! all the best...

    chrissy

  • just saw this vicki. i hope you are doing better now! you have done great and i have no doubt you will get better....you have proved to yourself that you can do it so you will again...would love to know how you are as i have not been on here in quite a while!! all the best...

    chrissyhi IAQ, I'm much better now thanks... virtually healed from my accident... been a long old haul though. I'm still being seen by the trauma Drs because my arm wont straighten and my need some surgery, but its not as sore as it was. I am suing the store I tripped in as it was totally their fault but they have been pretty horrible about it... the lawyers letters are just plain rude a lot of the time, just suggesting I'm stupid and wasn't looking where I was going, the term " author of her own misfortune" have been use. I tripped on a white plinth on a white floor with nothing on a big chunk of it!!

    still not smoking... that relapse was the best thing that could have happened now... it eliminated all my cravings... I'm kinda glad it happened now.

    how are you? x

  • The demon

    Hello Vicki,

    Thank you for posting - I have only been stopped three months but realise as a long term smoker the danger always lurks - especially in times of great stress. I have never yet stopped wanting a cigarette but know I will not take one as I am clearly a confirmed addict.

    You are a brave woman to come back on here and serves to us all not be complacent. Not the end of the world and I can see your back trying again - very admirable!

    Good luck and one fall off the wagon doesn't mean in my view you are right at the beginning - run after that wagon and jump right back on! Good Luck.

  • Hi guys,

    Well i thought i would check in and say hi...

    I am still not smoking... My glitch is a dim and distant memory, as are the cravings, well until this afternoon anyway! I had a niggly little craving which was very short lived... That was the first one in MONTHS!

    I am about to start a new job, I'm hoping that there won't be too many smokers in the team as the lure of a fag break during a busy shift was always very inviting!

    My arm and ribs are alot better after my accident... I am still seeing the hospital because my arm still won't straighten, but it appears that the bone didn't grow back in a 'regular' way, so because it was my elbow I broke it gets stuck at about 20 degrees. ANNOYING!

    Hope you are all well and still all ex smokers. :0) xxx

  • Hi Vicki,

    Nice to hear from you again - and so glad that your glitch was indeed just a glitch, and not the start of a slide back to smoking. I think it is truly amazing that you managed to nip it in the bud, I'm not so sure most of us could have done the same in your situation so well done you!!:)

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