Day Mutha F**ing 4 - Could anything else go wrong!!!!

Seriously....Arrrggghhhh !!! Just hours away from day four and everything else is turning completely to Sh*t!!! Just spent the past 2 hours fighting with my boyfriend who has come to the conclusion that I can pretty much F**k off, which by the way I would be happy to do if it weren't for this piece of crap economy and wages in the toilet. Thus meaning that I am essentially stuck right here without cigarettes or options just a position with a law firm that isn't paying nearly enough!! :confused:

I said earlier that I had an E-cig at home that I would be throwing in the rubbish..... well that hasn't happened. While I haven't gone to the store and bought smokes.... I am using the E-cig tonight. That's my confession lol.

The rest, who knows, gonna have to suck it up and deal with the stress and the bull sh*t, make nice and smile a lot- arghhhhh !! :mad:

Go to work tomorrow and hope for better days.

I so wish I could get out of this whole damn country and start over. Oh man just have to keep moving forward I guess, this sucks big time!!! :mad:

So sorry for the rant, I feel better now I guess. Still not going to start smoking again. This is pretty much the only thing I have right now to hang on to. :eek:

~Sherri

27 Replies

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  • Well done for having a good rant! It really helps sometimes, and we all know that, so don't worry about it!

    In my view the e-cig is better than smoking every time! As you know, smoking is seriously bad for you, and yet we seem to forget that sometimes - particularly when it comes to NRT.

    Can't help you with the difficult stuff going on in your life. All I can say is that having a smoke will not make it any better or easier to deal with.

  • The frustration is strong in this one! :cool:

    Tomorrow is a new day. You will be a better person after all this, you already are a better person already :)

  • ....7....8........9..........10......... and .... relax. :)

    So sorry to hear you are having a bad time at the moment Sherri.

    I you can't have a good rant on here then where can you?

    It does make you feel better to get it out of your system.....so if need be...keep ranting!

    Try a few tears.....I can assure you they will turn to laughter in a heartbeat. :D

    You are doing this for YOU, nobody else....

    I still sensed a bit of positivity bursting to get out of you, after reading your post.

    So stay strong, keep the promise you made to yourself and keep taking baby steps forward.

    You WILL get there :)

    Take care

    Greg

  • You can do it!

    So sorry to hear of the crap that's going on in your life. Withdrawal has a habit of bringing out the worst of our lives but the fact that you are keeping your quit will help you deal with things when the time is right! For now just focus on your quit and take it one day at a time.

    And don't apologise about the e-cig! Whatever it takes to keep off the smokes.

    Good luck and lots of hugs. Xo

    Nik

    X

  • Hi Sherri...if you are not sure about the eCig...why not try some NRT...I found patches supplemented by lozenges helped enormously...especially during relationship issues when it does get very hard!!!!....may be worth giving it a try....good luck.

  • Thank you everyone!!

    :) Whew... ok morning has arrived on schedule lol. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your support. I am actually feeling pretty good about getting on with a new day. for now I am just concentrating on not smoking, the rest of the BS can wait :D

    Maybe when we quit it just brings out all the bad stuff that has been bugging us anyway. (I was referring to relationships) Having said that, maybe next time I should learn the art of just shutting up hahaha!!!

    well that's the end of my rant..... whoo felt kinda good, I think I recommend it once in a while.

    Day 4 here we come, BRING IT ON !!!

    ~S

  • Good for you Sherri.....Day 5 is already coming fast!!!!

  • I have a question for all. My quit buddy at work brought in patches this morning for me to try. Ok the question is this.... since I am already on day 4 CT would it be like going backwards for me to start using the patch?

    I don't feel like I am having cravings where I just gotta have a smoke, it's more like I just get really pissed off for a few minutes then it passes. I'm worried that using the patches will make me more nicotine dependant.

    What say you? :confused:

    ~S

  • Hi Sherri...I can only speak from personal experience....I used patches and lozenges from the start of the quit for about 2 months....so did not attempt CT......and must say they seemed to ease me along nicely......I now just pop the odd lozenge when the crave wave flows over me or issues at home .....but not sure if it is a pshycological or medicinal assist...but seems to help...most peeps on this forum agree that NRT will not prolong or increase your addiction.....we are already addicts.....but we are beating the addiction...that is what counts.....and far better to slap a patch or pop some gum or lozenge rather than do the unthinkable...stay strong!!!!

  • Hi Sherri :)

    It's really got to be up to you, it's your quit!

    I couldn't do cold turkey deliberately - don't have the willpower or the courage - but you're 4 days in so you should be proud of yourself!!

    My quit buddy and I both went and bought patches the day we smoked our last cigarettes (it was a very spur of the moment thing in the end) and neither of us have smoked since, although I still need gum and she doesn't. It's all very much an individual thing.

    Am only guessing here but would think NRT gum might be better for you 'cos you can pop a piece in your mouth as and when rather than having the constant stream of nicotine from a patch. :)

    Whatever you use though, it's better than a cigarette!!

    Hope that helps and good luck with your quit,

    Gemma x

  • NO DON'T. You are already free of nicotine so there is no point in using a patch. They say nicotine has left your system in 72 hours so you don't need one. I used NRT only because I only managed CT for 2 days. Any craves you get now are psychological and after almost 7 months I still get them. You are doing great:D

  • In addition, you don't need any kind of NRT at all. You are already free of nicotine so don't put any back in your system.

  • Thank you,

    I am really not sure which direction I should go. I get the theory that I have already removed the nicotine from my body so I should just move forward.

    Having said that I am having some extreme irritability issues ugh!!!

    I am going to keep the patches with me today and see where it goes..... I know very vague answer, just not sure I want to reintroduce nicotine. The E-cig I had last night was bad enough.

    ~S

  • Keep going Sherri! And keep getting all this stuff off your chest! Quite literally!

    I can only speak for myself (and I used NRT), but it seems to me that NRT is a way of phasing NICOTINE out of your system, not necessarily dealing with the psychological aspect to giving up.

    That battle lies within your psyche, and you've already done the hard part in chosing to quit. If NRT helps with that, then use it, but as you've already proven to yourself that you don't need nicotine, you should just kick on, and be proud of yourself that you have been able to do what so many others are unable to do. Perhpas you just need something else to replace the "void".....think I used different teas, a stress ball, walks, exercise and loads of other little things to replace ciggies.....it's all down to you, and what you feel comfortable with.

    At the end of it all, anything is better than smoking! :)

    Well done!! :D

  • Sherri, does the e-cig have nicotine? If it does then you still have nicotine in your system. You will get irritable. I still get irritable after all these months and the nicotine is long gone. There is no telling how long the psychological withdrawals will last. That's between you and your subconscious.

    You play it the way you want but I suggest you read lots of posts.

  • Hi Sherri

    Only you will know what is right for your quit.

    There are a lot of people that keep NRT "just in case" and never actually use it.

    Just having it there is enough to help them.

    As LDG says I believe the quit is 90% psychological.

    From a personal point of view, I feel I am now in a position to stop my NRT as I am putting my psychological desires to indulge in the act of smoking to rest....I believe it is the NRT that is making me still feel a little on edge and "always wanting something"...so it will have to go soon.

    I do know however, that I do not want to physically smoke anymore.

    Everyone's quit is different, you have done so well so far, do what you feel is right. As others have said ..... you aren't smoking so RESULT! :D

    Take care

    Greg

  • Thank You again!!

    Aww you guys are awesome!!!! So far I have the patches on my desk where I am staring them down lol :p.... and I think I will try and continue CT.

    As several of you said (and I agree) it is such a psychological thing for me, 30+ years of smoking is a very longggg time. I didn't even realize until I decided to quit exactly how long I have smoked. What a waste, it really makes me mad at myself damn !!

    I know now that I "can" do it. It really comes down to a choice doesn't it. Be lazy and continue to smoke or go through the uncomfortable period of change and despair lol. It is a bit like giving up an old friend at least for me.

    Ok maybe a really bad friend... but familiar nonetheless!!!

    Does anyone else ever feel like you are trying to figure out what your new identity is going to be? Seriously, none of us ever thought of ourselves as smokers first but the minute we quit suddenly it felt like that was the sum total of what we are..... ok I must be rambling, just some thoughts. This is so much more psychological than physical imho.

  • Hell yeah!!

    I lost "me", or what I thought was me for a bit....and I still think some of "me" got lost somewhere along the line....but I've found "me" again, and a few new "me's" (I don't talk to myself, I promise) :D :D :eek:

    But we do go through chemical changes when we give up, I guess....and that may affect the way we behave for a bit.

    And you may think that you've lost part of you for a bit...it's completely normal. But you get all that back further down the line, and more!!

    I can't say when, how, or why....but it does happen, as others will testify. I didn't believe it when I read people saying "it will happen"...but it does! :D

  • :eek: I believe you, I truly do.

    This is shaping up to be much more than just quitting cigarettes but an amazing journey around the world with all of us struggling and winning everyday. Awesome!! :)

  • Wow......so it is not just me shouting at my partner.......I still love her to bits but when one person is quitting the other one is in a totally different world...... I hope it will pass.......

    When I quit I was determined to go full CT. I have an ecig but have not charged it and I am determined not to use it.....even when the going gets rough I hope I won't......it could be the slippery slope back......hands working again and the body getting a fix......

    Try your best not to reach for it or if you do.....get rid of the replacement cartridges so that you run it down and get no nicotine from it......

    Stay strong and make me see tomorrow that you are on the next day smoke free with me......

    Go girl......

  • Hey thanks for the post!! No worries, I have fought too hard to get this far to let it go now. II shall remain a non-smoker!!!!!

    By the way, I may begin using the patches when I leave work today. I agree with you that the E-cig is really not a good idea for the very reason you stated. It just keeps you repeating that smoking action. I really wish in the midst of my very much ranted about meltdown last evening that I had not picked it up at all. The cartridge in it was probably 2 years old so hopefully there wasn't much in the way of nicotine still in it.

    I am so frustrated that I even picked it up, you have no idea. This is why I may fel safer slapping on a patch... what do you think???

    ~S

  • I am going to keep CT as long as possible. I know breaking points are different for everyone and situations are the biggest problems if things seem bad the brain will tell you in a persuasive voice to reach for something.......

    Patches or other nicotine replacement is obviously better than a CIG..... but stay with me babes and stay CT for as long as you can.

    My other half has just started talking about a kitchen extension.......just what I need now a full on discussion about that.......

    Keep going.......the weekend is going to be tough........

  • Omg !!!!

    Kitchen extension - Heeheehee !! Good luck with that (sorry!:eek:)

    Ok, you got it. I will try and stay CT but if worst comes to it this weekend I may just grab for the patch. I know what you're saying and I really would rather not go for the NRT, please keep your fingers crossed argh!!

    When I get home from work today and I am sipping that cold Beer, oh yes I am!!! I will be picturing your eyes rolling back in your head over the new kitchen plans lol, just don't get caught. Oh the visual may just keep me smiling all night :)

  • Hi Sherri...don't beat yourself up about using patches....I used them for a couple of months...and got me through....but I don't seem to need them any longer...whatever it takes just keep it going!!!!

  • thanks Cymro. I dont know why I am even worried about it. I quit with 3 othr folks I know, all CT. Shouldn't matter I know. I seem to be having the hardest time, it's starting to piss me off... :mad:

  • Hey Sherri....I attended Stop Smoking group therapy sessions before taking the plunge...and they absolutely recommended patches etc......and we got them free of charge.....they produced stats that overwhelmingly showed that here in the UK the success rate was far greater when assisted by NRT...not saying you have to...but don't be p1ssed by it...if you need it...then a little help goes a long way....it is not a failure....its a helping hand to soothe the pain....good luck over the weekend...stay strong.

  • could anything else go wrong

    Hello Sherri B,

    Sorry to be so blunt about it:-"could aything else go wrong" yes and it probably will, but hang on in there it will get easier believe me.

    Sherri when the dust has settled on this episode in your life you'll ponder upon your present trials and tribulations and wonder what all the fuss was about.

    Bear in mind your dealing with a heavy duty addiction, it isn't easy but it gets easier and you'll succeed believe me.

    Michael in Glasgow

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