Struggling today :(

It's nearly 2 weeks since I had my last fag, but today is really tough for me.

I've had a couple of little shocks - nothing serious but it's enough to make me really want a smoke, that and a stressful morning! It's the crutch thing, would have smoked a lot before I quit and this is one of the first times I've got wound up without my "support" (know it really isn't) so it's hard to get through.

Don't know why, but I'm feeling sort of 'uneasy' somehow and my tummy's tied in a knot, not sure if that's quitting or just 'cos I'm a bit wound up and slightly teary though - and I'm not usually like that! Well really I'm halfway between crying and screaming, and that's definitely *not* me!

Am thinking I picked a really bad time to stop now *but* I'm determined not to give in! I've got gum and my patch is on so hopefully it's going to pass soon!

Just wanted to let off steam a bit really - hope that's OK :)

29 Replies

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  • Aww thank you Lostie! :)

    I didn't expect a reply so fast, it's really nice here!

    It's nice to know it's not just me with the knotty feeling, I guess it's a craving 'cos I've eaten and been drinking water like they're going to stop making it. :p

    Lol, one good thing about it being so wet today is it means I'm definitely not going to go out to buy fags, even if my willpower does let me down!

  • Scream away Gemma....if it helps

    I bet you it would turn to laughter in seconds..... :)

    Do we ever have a good time to quit?

    I know I didn't, that's why I left it so long between attempts.

    Through it all you still sound really sunny and strong....that's half the battle won already.

    I certainly wasn't teary before quitting, came as a real shock to be honest! :eek:

    Treat it as relief as you are freeing yourself..and it does get easier...honest. :)

    Deep breaths and baby steps

    You CAN and ARE doing this :)

    Well done Gemma

    Take care

    Greg

  • Thank you Greg that's really helpful!!

    I'm feeling loads better for letting off steam already! And again, it's nice to know it isn't just me, it's so weird how it makes you feel isn't it?

    Last time I stopped was when I was ill so didn't have any choice, but there isn't ever a 'good' time to do it! Not until it's like 6 months ago or something like that! :p

    *goes to find somewhere for a quick scream*

  • Ooooh Gemma, I am so sorry for you, I used to have those days too so I know what they are like (horrid). I can only say that they get fewer and far between lovey, and I know that is not much consolation when you feel like you do but it is true. You wont feel like this forever. I am sending you a big hug and I Hope you feel better soon and keep posting and we will keep replying and soon you will be smiling again.xxxx

  • Thanks for the hug Haze, I really am feeling heaps better! :D

    It's great to know it's not going to last 'cos it's such a weird feeling! Sooner I'm over all this the better!

    Thanks for all your support everyone it's definitely helping :)

  • Hi Gemma, DO NOT give in, I'm having a mare of a day and me and you are getting through it together!

    I will not give in, you will not cave, we will be grinning ear to ear in the morning!

    Seriously, every day does get better Gemma. You're 2 weeks in, you are on the edge of seeing something so beautiful you won't believe it til you see it! You're going to see, and more importantly realise that you CAN do this, you will believe it, then we won't be able to stop you smiling, not that we'd want to!!

    Bit rambling but hope it made sense!

    Hang in there, I'm thinking of you x

    Molly x

  • Great going Gemma, as has been said, it does pass.

    Two weeks is a real achievement, and there's no ideal time for me, any quit time is going to have downsides, although I probably have a bit of a blinkered view as I'm teetotal so don't have to take the party season into account as much.

    You'll look back before you know it and wonder what all the fuss was about :)

  • Hi Gemma, DO NOT give in, I'm having a mare of a day and me and you are getting through it together!

    I will not give in, you will not cave, we will be grinning ear to ear in the morning!

    Seriously, every day does get better Gemma. You're 2 weeks in, you are on the edge of seeing something so beautiful you won't believe it til you see it! You're going to see, and more importantly realise that you CAN do this, you will believe it, then we won't be able to stop you smiling, not that we'd want to!!

    Bit rambling but hope it made sense!

    Hang in there, I'm thinking of you x

    Molly x

    Aw thanks, you did make sense!

    I'm sorry you're having a bad day too - we'll get through it together though! :cool:

    Thanks so much for the pep talk :)

    Thanks to Angrybear too, I am happy to have gone sp far but days like this really are horrible. I'm loads better now though and allthe people on here have helped loads! :cool:

  • Well, I've given myself a good talking to and am going to carry on!

    Woke up at 5AM feeling awful, really teary again and my heart was racing too - hadn't had a nightmare or anything so it was odd. Anyway that's the situation I would have had a fag before and (hate admitting it) I came so close to calling the whole quit off and driving to the 24hr Tesco, definitely the worst I've been with it.

    But instead I sat myself down, thought about all the reasons I was quitting and how stupid it would be to have gone through almost 2 weeks of this to chicken out now - and the thing that sealed the deal for me was my cough starting up again, it reminded me what damage I've already done :eek: and that I don't want to add to it!

    I probably will need to chew the gum for longer than I'd wanted to, but it's better than smoking.

  • Gemma - well done for steering clear of Tescos this morning. There is no rush to get off the NRT and, as you say, it is much better than smoking. Well done

  • Thanks :)

    I'm hoping the more of those bad times I get through the easier it will be to beat them!

  • Hi Gemma Lou, as Biggrin says well done for not going to Tesco this morning, you have got through it and I can only say again that it wont stay like this it WILL get easier I promise. Hope you have a lovely day watch loads of Christmas telly and eat loads of nice Christmas food, that should make you feel better.xx

  • Thanks! :)

    I'm still teary, which is silly but I'll pick up! I really didn't expect this, but it'll be worth it in the end :)

  • Hi Gemma

    Instead of gum have you tried a good old fashioned sweet?

    I at work have aniseed balls and some odd things called "voice sweets" (I found them in my local corner shop) the aniseeds are good as they are strong and then when you only have a small amount left crunch it and it gives a good "hit" taking your mind and craving off wanting a cig.

    Worth a try instead of the gum.

    All the best and remember easier times will be here soon as they are just around the corner.

    Foz

  • I agree with Foz, sweeties helped me, I had strawberry bonbons and murray mints, the sort of thing I liked but hadn't had in years. Glacier mints too. Go to a shop that does a range of them and treat yourself.

    This will all pass, your thought processes do you credit (recognising the damage already done, wanting to stay free, acknowledging the 14 days already done, knowing it will improve), stick with it, keep posting on here, it's the best tool you have.............that and sweets :D.

  • Well done getting through Gemma

    Don't know about you but........I'm craving for aniseed now........

    ...think I may be pregnant! :D yagagag!

    Don't worry about the NRT, I started to a bit back but going to come off it as and when I feel ready.

    You're doing great and as you said......it's a million times better than smoking!

    In fact, plunging your face into a boiling pan of rice pudding would be better than smoking......don't try that at home kids! :D

    Teary?-silly?-never!

    Let them come and go I say

    Stay strong :)

    Greg

  • Thanks Angrybear and Foz about the sweeties :D That's a great idea and I'm sure that half my cravings are more in my mind than anything else so anything to trick my mind is great!!

    I do want to be off nicotine ASAP so don't want to use too much NRT *but* don't want to feel lousy over Christmas either 'cos that might make me give up giving up. :eek: Have had 5 pieces of nicotine gum today which isn't great but it's not smoking and that's what matters!

    Oh and thanks Foz, I really hope my mind's in the right place for this, spent my last day as a smoker really hating every fag I smoked so *fingers crossed* I'm going to do this!!

    Greg, you made me laugh thanks for that and for the support :D

  • I had another rubbish night, not sure if that's because of quitting or because of the patch maybe?

    Haven't had the vivid dreams lots of people get - but the ones I remember have been OK, no nightmares *but* have noticed that in lots of them I'm smoking. Don't remember smoking in my dreams when I was actually smoking. :confused:

    Am feeling a bit better, the tearyness is still there off and on but nothing I can't fight through!

    I'll pick up some sweeties today and another pack of gum so I don't turn into a total mess over Christmas.

    Thanks again for all your support everyone ❤

  • Gemma - You're sounding brave in the face of a difficult quit, well done. :)

  • Gemma - You're sounding brave in the face of a difficult quit, well done. :)

    Thanks :)

    I'm finding it much tougher than I thought, the first week was lots easier *but* it's 2 weeks tonight that I put my last fag out and am proud of that!

    The really positive thing for me is that I went into town just now to pick up some last minute bits for tomorrow and the smell of people smoking really turned my stomach!! Had to hold my breath when I walked past 'cos the smell is horrible - feel bad for inflicting that on other people now! :eek:

  • After moaning for ages, I'm feeling really good now! :)

    Have been on a 3 mile walk with lots of steep hills to get some wine for tomorrow and my breathing is so much better already :D It gave me a real boost, and the number of people I walked past and could smell smoke on them from a long way away has really helped too. No way am I going back to that!!

    I feel better for the exercise too :)

  • Good for you Gemma, have a lovely day tommorow and I promise it does get easier.xxx

  • Good for you Gemma, have a lovely day tommorow and I promise it does get easier.xxx

    Thanks Haze!

    You have a lovely day as well :cool: x

  • emotions

    ive read that smoking dulls emotions, there's also small trials been done as to whether it eases pain too. so it makes sense that when we quit we have to learn to cope with all the emotional and physical pains that have been locked away by the dirty fags for so long.

    ive noticed both..odd pains that im now adjusting to, but more so my feelings have been all over the place.

    i think we just need to give ourselves time to learn how to deal with it all again....and you know what..there's nothing wrong with getting mad, having a cry and ninja kicking scatter cushions around the lounge ..=D

    get it all out :)

    glad you're feeling better after your walk

    lorna x

  • ive read that smoking dulls emotions, there's also small trials been done as to whether it eases pain too. so it makes sense that when we quit we have to learn to cope with all the emotional and physical pains that have been locked away by the dirty fags for so long.

    ive noticed both..odd pains that im now adjusting to, but more so my feelings have been all over the place.

    i think we just need to give ourselves time to learn how to deal with it all again....and you know what..there's nothing wrong with getting mad, having a cry and ninja kicking scatter cushions around the lounge ..=D

    get it all out :)

    glad you're feeling better after your walk

    lorna x

    Oh thanks!!

    That does make sense, so it's sort of re-learning how to deal with normal things.

    It feels better to let out all the anger doesn't it? Lol am back to teenage temper tantrums sometimes :eek:

    Definitely know what you mean about being all over the place, it's horrible but I hope you're feeling better soon!! :) x

  • It will pass, and when it's passed you will feel elated and so proud!!!!

    Don't give in, we don't need them!!!!

    Your note yesterday really helped Thankyou so much!

    I can totally understand how you feel, mornings I wake up feeling brilliant and feel like anything is possible ( this morning was grinning ear to ear and a very embarrassing victory dance in front of the mirror and to the disgust of my kids!;( )

    Second, minute,an hour, a day!

    Your doing it! And it will get better, we will be rid of the craves soon

    You can do it!!!!!!!!x

  • Mate Im sorry to hear its a bad day. By now you are probably through the day and in bed? Dunno time zone is way out being in sydney. Yeah its a struggle some moments isnt it. I get really aggitated and suspect although Im moslty happy that at times Im hard to live with and just dont know it. Ive got an electronic cigarette which helps in dire times! As to it being a bad time-it always is. I always tried to stop and then would say oh this week is crap Ive got to go out sunday so itll be next week and so on..........

    Hope you feelin better mate. I just broke up with my partner several hours ago so I understand the stress part. Crap thing is I live in the house lol so we agreed I stay till I can save another 3 grand to buy my own property. Fun times ahead!

    I must say walking my dogs has helped, cause they whizz on everything that movs Im constantly focused on them wrecking peoples gardens lol! So the focus goes of me!........ Well lets not be crazy, just for a second tho! lmao!

    Oh lol just read youve got the walking thing down pat, feels good to breathe hey!

    The hard thing I reckon will be learning to deal with our emotions esp anger and distress, what can we do, dunno I guess we will get the hang of it and learn to deal with things like we are meant to. I think smoking helps us sqaush our emotions down and go into denial mode, this is why we now feel so bloody vulnerable! Oh! well as I said fun times ahead lol!

  • It will pass, and when it's passed you will feel elated and so proud!!!!

    Don't give in, we don't need them!!!!

    Your note yesterday really helped Thankyou so much!

    I can totally understand how you feel, mornings I wake up feeling brilliant and feel like anything is possible ( this morning was grinning ear to ear and a very embarrassing victory dance in front of the mirror and to the disgust of my kids!;( )

    Second, minute,an hour, a day!

    Your doing it! And it will get better, we will be rid of the craves soon

    You can do it!!!!!!!!x

    Aww thanks Wooders, I'm glad I helped you!! :)

    It is going to be worth it, but it's not a nice time to go through is it?

    Am getting through it, first thing in the morning is the worst for me.

    It's great to hear you're getting there and thank you :)

  • Mate Im sorry to hear its a bad day. By now you are probably through the day and in bed? Dunno time zone is way out being in sydney. Yeah its a struggle some moments isnt it. I get really aggitated and suspect although Im moslty happy that at times Im hard to live with and just dont know it. Ive got an electronic cigarette which helps in dire times! As to it being a bad time-it always is. I always tried to stop and then would say oh this week is crap Ive got to go out sunday so itll be next week and so on..........

    Hope you feelin better mate. I just broke up with my partner several hours ago so I understand the stress part. Crap thing is I live in the house lol so we agreed I stay till I can save another 3 grand to buy my own property. Fun times ahead!

    I must say walking my dogs has helped, cause they whizz on everything that movs Im constantly focused on them wrecking peoples gardens lol! So the focus goes of me!........ Well lets not be crazy, just for a second tho! lmao!

    Oh lol just read youve got the walking thing down pat, feels good to breathe hey!

    The hard thing I reckon will be learning to deal with our emotions esp anger and distress, what can we do, dunno I guess we will get the hang of it and learn to deal with things like we are meant to. I think smoking helps us sqaush our emotions down and go into denial mode, this is why we now feel so bloody vulnerable! Oh! well as I said fun times ahead lol!

    Oh I am sorry Rachael, that's horrible for you!!

    I hope you get through it as well as possible - not going to be fun though :(

    You're right about the emotions, it's like smoking numbed us a bit so we didn't feel so much - literally hiding behind a cloud of smoke. And yes, it does make us feel vulnerable without it *but* it'll be fine when our brains work out how to deal with it!!

    Good luck :)

    Gemma

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