Well, here I am 'head in hands' and back to square one again. I really don't know what is wrong with me where quitting is concerned other than that I must have no common sense or willpower at all.
I had been quit for almost 2 and a half months this time and seemed to be coping reasonably well. This was to be the time when I would finally overcome my smoking addiction, or so I thought. However it was not to be because, as usual, at the first sign of a little bit of life's pressure (something and nothing really and certainly just one of those annoying things that all of us have to deal with now and again) I cracked, and resorted to smoking once again.
I KNOW this is so pathetic and that smoking solves nothing but initially I did feel it offered me some kind of misguided comfort. None the less I felt guilty and weak for letting myself down yet again but even that hasn't prevented me from continuing to smoke for the past couple of weeks.
Since I've started smoking I've even noticed that the troublesome cough I had before I quit is even starting to reappear so that should be all the evidence I need to wise up and kick this habit for good.
I am going to give quitting another go and this time I hope I will do better. I've still go 2 cigarettes left that I know I should throw away but I will smoke them first and then make a promise to myself that I will not buy any more. You would think that the money I could save by not smoking would be incentive enough to make me stop but even that doesn't seem to work for me.
I know the dangers of smoking, I think it's a disgusting and expensive habit that I wish I could do without yet here I am once again, right back where I started with only my stupidity to blame.
I'm sorry for bleating on like this I really am, and especially to the people on here who have been so supportive of me in the past.
I must be starting to sound like a broken record but I know I must try again so I will post later today when I start my next attempt.
I feel like such a loser - thankyou for listening.