Friday evening, late finsih at work due to some last min crap i could not get away from, freezing cold out side, bottle of wine & indians then a movie is in order with a lovely relaxing weekend off! now 3 months ago i would never of though possible i could have this type of evening without a fag but, here i am loving every minute of it. The best thing is, is the fact i dont have to go out side or leave my kitchen window open to smoke.
The house is so warm due to the fact i can CLOSE them now!!!! no cravings, no impulses, these are the moments I cherish and savour and enjoy the most. That feeling of freedom, i never knew exisited ( ok so i just practically made my self sick saying that and had about a million virtual slaps from you guys. These newbies who are on the verge of suicide and sobbing there hearts wimpering " WHY ME SOB, PLEASE GO AWAY SOB, WHY IS THAT BITCH HAVING A GREAT TIME PROMOTING FREEDOM AND I CAN'T SOB SOB SOB, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN...HIC SOB HIC HIC, ) but you get my drift.
for all you newbies, hang in there, read my stories they wil ltell what i have had to put up with and deal with, they will hopefully give you inspiration to carry on and get through this, its not easy but when you fight hard the rewards are much better, i think i have encountered every emotion going,!!!! as I feel amazing right now I know it wont last as the withdrawel will continue and I will end up doing a rynal at some point BUT, its getting less n less, i have not once thought about battering my boss with a stapler for a while now well 4 days so i must be improving just keep going, beleive me if i can you can. stop stressing over it, why should you cry, worry, sob and hic making your self ill for stopping something that will actually kill you, unless you walk across the road with headphones on and almost get splattered by a bus at 16 years old... yes that was me!!