Struggling today

Hi all

Just thought I'd check in as haven't been on for a couple of days.

Really struggling the last couple of days, but, today is real bad. Am having serious urges to smoke (I won't though) - thought they should be easing up by now. Am feeling so wound up and tense and keep snapping at everyone, which I don't want to do as its not their fault. Also feeling really emotional and I know it sounds silly but Its like I've lost a part of me, I smoked since 14 and am now 37 so I don't really remember never not smoking, certainly not as an adult.

I wish this mood would just bugger off as did really well the first week and felt really positive and now it all seems to be going down hill.

Sorry to put anyone on a downer, just wanted to vent a bit and this seemed like the best place.

Thanks

Rach

7 Replies

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  • keep going,

    Rachel you are the same day as me and I have been emotional too.There is a lot of family worry going on at the moment and I really have had to fight the urge to run for a smoke.I know I will regret it as soon as I do and if I can get through this without a fag(which IM DETERMINED TO DO)I can get through anything in the future without smoking.hang in there,no-one said it was easy but look how far you,v come.......well done us eh!:eek:

  • I felt the same

    Hi Rach, I felt exactly the same I felt like I had lost my best friend and what was the point whenI felt this lost........... It gets better... It does not stay with you for long I promise.If it did noone would quit. Please keep going and you will see that it does get better. I smoked for 40 years from being 11 years old...:(

    I am now almost 8 months quit. Keep on keeping on... NOPE.... Onwards and upwards is the only way to go..... Choose your slogan and stick to it, it is so worth it:D

  • Hi Rach

    I too have had a bad time today. It has been the first day I have felt really low and with terrible cravings since stopping 11 days ago. I have been talking to myself all day to snap out of it, and I went out and bought a load of nice fresh fruit to make a fruit salad which I am eating now. I didn't buy cigarettes which I am really proud of, and whilst in the shop someone walked by me who stank of cigarette smoke. You really smell it on others when you stop smoking. It reminded me of why I am doing this, and why I am determined this time to succeed.

    I have tried in the past to stop smoking, the most I ever went was 4 months, and I know that a day like today can come over you when least expected. But we can do it, and I keep in my mind how much better I feel already, how nice I smell and the freedom. I have been taking lots of deep breaths

    I think for me today has been difficult because I usually have a drink of wine on a Friday evening, but I have cut this out as well, as drinking in the past has been my downfall.

    I am using patches because if I don't I am really unbearable in the first weeks, but I am only planning to use them for a short time, as I know I have to find other ways of coping with cravings long term and become mentally strong to say no. It isn't a friend or a comfort.

    At my age every time I have lit a cigarette has been a disappointment and stressful. Every time I have bought a packet in the supermarket has been embarrassing when the packet has been put on the counter with the dreadful picture on it showing. I have been worrying about my health, getting tingling sensations in my toes and seeing in the mirror what all the years of smoking have done to my face. Even after this short time, my skin and pallor has improved and the tingling in my toes stopped after a few days.

    We can do it. :)

  • Hi Carolrose, Haze & Button

    Thank you for your encouraging words, it really helps to know I'm not the only that is feeling this way. Thats why I love this forum - there is always someone that has been there and can give you a boost to help you through the the tough bits.

    You are doing great Carolrose - I'm sorry to hear you have family worries, it must make it sooo much harder fight the urge, but, you are so right if you can get through the tough times them you can do anything!

    Haze - wow, if I can do as good as you I will be well chuffed, and, its so great that you come and give us new quitters the benefit of your experience, thank you.

    Hi Button, you are doing amazing too. I know what you mean about smelling it on other people - it happened on the bus this morning and I am sooo pleased I don't smell like that anymore either. Wine has also been my downfall in the past too, but, funnily I've been ok this time - I think before I started this quit I told myself that I was not going to use having a drink as a get out clause so I've been in the right mindset I think.

    I've just played Just Dance on the wii with my daughter, which made me laugh and I didn't get out of puff so easily. I think I shall have an early night and hopefully have a better day tomorrow. I never realised this journey would be such an emotional roller coaster.

    We can do it - in fact we ARE doing it :D

  • I have faith in each and everyone of you. What I did when it got ( gets) tough is I would think of my grandkids...how I want to be around to watch them grow up. How much better I smell, how easy it is getting to breath. How I don't cough constantly anymore.

    And I always state my Manta...NOPE...Not one puff ever!!!

    I can repeat that 100 times in a day if neccessary....it gets me through. Each of you need to find your strength and use it...over and over again. Be it once in awhile or 100 times a day....whatever it takes.

    So, just keep doing whatever works for you. Stay in touch with this forum...great people who will support you and if neccessary we will pick you up and get you set straight again....ppat

  • The important thing to remember is that even though you're feeling that horrible nagging desire to smoke, it doesn't mean your quit is going wrong, or that you're doomed to fail because you're still feeling this way. Most quitters go through this at some point, especially around the second or third week when the intial thrill of the quit, the 'yay, I'm actually doing this!' feeling wears off and the 'wow... can I do this forever, though?' kicks in.

    The thing is you CAN do this. It's just another part of the process. The feelings will pass if you just keep taking one day at a time.

    With very few exceptions, all of us who got to the fabled 'penthouse' felt this way. And NONE of us feel like that any more. It's all worth it, I promise!

    Keep going!

  • Hey Rach

    I identify so much with that lost feeling. I was grieving for my 'mate' and felt that my identity had been irrepairably damaged - I wasn't sure who I was anymore.

    Believe me I am only 27 days into this but I am already forging a new feeling of wholeness without the fags. And sure i have difficult moments but like you I still haven't picked one up.

    Keep at it one day a time, you are worth it.

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