HELP! Work???

Hi all I hope someone has some advice for me on how to deal with work.

I have had a few attemps recently at giving up and they have gone ok until I go to work. Most days I work with my boss alone and he's a super cool guy but it tires me out with his constant talking and telling jokes that arn't funny... It ends up winding me up so much that I smoke just to be able to deal with him... he really wears me out lol with his talking.

He's kinda impossible to have a conversation with because he dosen't listen to me when I talk he will just speak over me with something that he wants to talk about. It's really draining.

Then on the other days I sometimes work with another guy who is really cool but he smokes and when he lights up I always want 1.

Anyone got any advice on how I should cope with those sittuations?

9 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi Warrior,

    My sympathies. It's tough when you're first quit and those kind of niggling aggravations crop up, and you get that feeling of irritation that builds into full on murderous rage!!

    I have an irritating office mate (who actually sounds a lot like your boss) and two youngish children, whose squabbling and noisiness used to make me flee for a cigarette, which I genuinely thought was calming and comforting.

    But I breathed deep, and stuck it out, and just kept saying to myself no, I won't smoke today, no matter what. It wasn't always easy, but I would go for a walk, or have a cup of tea, or try to deal with the situation in other ways and I'm glad I did because I realised something hugely important.

    My office mate and my kids can be aggravating, yes. But they are not NEARLY as bad as I thought. A good 70% of the problem was that my craving for nicotene - my desire to get out of there and smoke - was making me considerably more irritable than I needed to be. Once the dependency on the fags was gone, they didn't wind me up half so much! The fags didn't help, they were making it worse, and I'd never realised it!

    So what I'm saying is that it's undeniably tough but you really do have to ride it out in the early stages of your quit. Keep making that decision not to smoke. And you'll find that eventually the whole situation will become a lot easier.

    That, or gag him :)

    Good luck!

  • Hi Warrior,

    My sympathies. It's tough when you're first quit and those kind of niggling aggravations crop up, and you get that feeling of irritation that builds into full on murderous rage!!

    I have an irritating office mate (who actually sounds a lot like your boss) and two youngish children, whose squabbling and noisiness used to make me flee for a cigarette, which I genuinely thought was calming and comforting.

    But I breathed deep, and stuck it out, and just kept saying to myself no, I won't smoke today, no matter what. It wasn't always easy, but I would go for a walk, or have a cup of tea, or try to deal with the situation in other ways and I'm glad I did because I realised something hugely important.

    My office mate and my kids can be aggravating, yes. But they are not NEARLY as bad as I thought. A good 70% of the problem was that my craving for nicotene - my desire to get out of there and smoke - was making me considerably more irritable than I needed to be. Once the dependency on the fags was gone, they didn't wind me up half so much! The fags didn't help, they were making it worse, and I'd never realised it!

    So what I'm saying is that it's undeniably tough but you really do have to ride it out in the early stages of your quit. Keep making that decision not to smoke. And you'll find that eventually the whole situation will become a lot easier.

    That, or gag him :)

    Good luck!

    Thank you for replying. Yeah what you said makes sence it is probally just me irratable 24/7. I hope I have the whole of this week of because I don't think I'm in the mood to have to work with him all day.

    I see you have been smoke free for 2 years now... How did u find it and do u ever get cravings now?

  • Hi again :)

    Yes, it's been nearly two years, which is hard to believe. I don't have any cravings now, not at all. Now and again the thought will crop up 'oh, I would have smoked now' but it's easy to just brush it off - nothing would induce me to light up, ever again. I'm a long way down the line but one stupid smoke would send me right back to that prison.

    I didn't exactly find it easy. I had 24 years worth of habit to break. It's not all about nicotene, believe it or not. When the drug is long gone from your system you still have to work hard retraining your brain, breaking all those habits and associations with smoking. You've spent so many years smoking when you're happy, sad, bored, stressed or whatever, that you are subconsciously convinced that a cigarette makes these situations better. It's not true - but it can take a while to stop thinking that way. You just have to get up each day and think to yourself no matter what, I won't smoke today. It can be tough sometimes but it gets easier and easier the longer you go on. I promise!

    You're doing great to get this far. Keep going! It's all worth it.

    Helen

  • Hi again :)

    Yes, it's been nearly two years, which is hard to believe. I don't have any cravings now, not at all. Now and again the thought will crop up 'oh, I would have smoked now' but it's easy to just brush it off - nothing would induce me to light up, ever again. I'm a long way down the line but one stupid smoke would send me right back to that prison.

    I didn't exactly find it easy. I had 24 years worth of habit to break. It's not all about nicotene, believe it or not. When the drug is long gone from your system you still have to work hard retraining your brain, breaking all those habits and associations with smoking. You've spent so many years smoking when you're happy, sad, bored, stressed or whatever, that you are subconsciously convinced that a cigarette makes these situations better. It's not true - but it can take a while to stop thinking that way. You just have to get up each day and think to yourself no matter what, I won't smoke today. It can be tough sometimes but it gets easier and easier the longer you go on. I promise!

    You're doing great to get this far. Keep going! It's all worth it.

    Helen

    Thanks Helen. It's nice to hear someone saying it gets better. I knew that anyway but I also knew there will be good days and bad days to begin with. I'm on day 2 at the moment... I like being on my own at this moment, I'm tired aswell alot of the time.

    It's nice to hear someone else saying

    "retraining your brain, breaking all those habits and associations with smoking. You've spent so many years smoking when you're happy, sad, bored, stressed or whatever"

    Thats what I think will take the longest time to get used to. Once the chemical addiction is gone it's getting use to this whole new lifestyle. It's stupid I know saying new lifestyle because in reality I'm just going back to what I was before I started smoking.

    Have u had any near fails in the last 2 years?

  • Don't worry too much about the readjusting. Think of it like a series of triggers you have to get past. You will come up against situations where you would once have smoked, like finishing a meal, going out for a drink, having an argument, going on holiday - no matter how big or small these events are, they are all triggers.

    Once you've been through these situations a couple of times without a fag, they lose their power, they stop being triggers - it's amazing how fast your brain stops prompting you to smoke.

    Of course the earlier you are in your quit, the more triggers crop up - you're facing pretty much everything for the first time without a fag! But as you go further on they become fewer and further between. And they lose their power, because you know you've beaten worse. This is so doable, I promise you. You just have to keep making the choice not to give into the triggers - recognise them for what they are and face them down.

    In answer to your question, like most people I had some pretty rough days, when I've had to fight hard with my subconscious. I'll admit, once or twice I really wrestled with myself and thought OK, I'll just not smoke today. If I still feel like this tomorrow I'll smoke - but the next day I would wake up feeling better and stronger for having beaten the bad day, and ready to carry on.

    And I've not had a single puff - so it worked :D

    You're doing great. The first few days are really hard. Keep reading, keep posting, keep busy. You can do it!

  • Thanks belles :) u really helped me xx

  • Hey Warrior, hope you're still going strong; my first two weeks at work were utterly horrible in terms of my temper. When lorries turned up at work for unloading I would curse them like they were the Plague Of Lucifer, like they were on a personal mission to p*ss me off and just get in the way of my day in general. My job? A forklift driver who unloads lorries. And God help anyone who dared to phone me :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: !!

    It was irrational but I was in a state of total fury especially for the first week. It was not so bad at home thank God (my wife would have put me in traction) but it was bad enough; work though was a nightmare.

    Like Helsbelles said, breathe deep, stick with it, get stubborn, it all passes, and gets so much better. Day 3 I signed up to this forum I think it was, hence my username. I'll never forget it!

  • Just had to reply to this...I know exactly what you're talking about!

    When I don't want to listen to other people's chatter at work (yes...and it is usually about themselves!!) I put on my headphones and listen to my mp3 player.

    Maybe with your guy the bigger the headphones the better!!

    You could say it's for work purposes or medical reasons....

    Good luck

    LizzieX

  • lol lizzie, yeah I'm going to start taking it with me... I work in building so I can get away with it :)

    I think I'm in at the end of the week so I'll see how it goes.

You may also like...