call me weak, call me pathetic, call me what you want, it still doesn't change the fact that I continue to cave in even though i so desperately want to stop. No amount of self loathing and guilt seems to change this. I genuinely dont know where to turn next other than to say... "ok, you're a smoker - deal with it, shit or get off the potty!"
I think the thing i must do it to keep in trying. I have read so many posts on here and been inspired by your stories and am so jealous but i know that to get there too i miust keep on keeping on. I know all of the reasons to quit and want to more than anything.
Should i keep trying?
I have a mad busy and stressful day today at work (presenting for 3 hours to 30 people) so i think im going to be kind to myself for today and forget this thing for the day. I pledge to you all that from 10pm tonight i shall try again.
what a doughnut eh?
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You can do it and you want to do it so much I am sure you will do it. Those feelings you describe of self-loathing and guilt I had too. Every day for months....no for years and years.
I had stopped before, for 15 years or more and started again in a mad moment on holiday when I thought,"Well I'll just have one after dinner.What difference will one make?" It made all the difference, cos there I was hooked again and for years and I just could not find that motivation I found the first time.
I had to have an asthma check and they checked me to see if it was really asthma or something more sinister. It was asthma. I noticed on the little sheet that came off the machine that my lung age or whatever it measured was 72 years!! As I am no where near that age it came as a huge shock.
After a chat with the doc when he asked me what was I doing.They were doing the best to open my airways and I was doing my best to close them. He asked me to go to a cessation clinic and I agreed. I was prescribed Champix and am now into 6 weeks smoke free. Hardly even think about having a fag.
I also found helpful a little book called," How to stop smoking and stay stopped" by Gillian O Reilly. She runs a smoking clinic down south somewhere and is an award winner for her methods and success rates.
Have you considered getting some support from a clinic? You sound well on the way to cracking it and with a bit of extra help I'm sure you will.
Sometimes it takes a few attempts, it has me, that first day is horrible, buuuut, it will only last a day or two... you can do this, we're all here for each other, i believe in you. Be strong and dont stop trying!!! Zeb xxx
Wish I could tell you just the right magic words to do this.... it's all mostly mental. You have got to somehow switch your thinking into really believing that not smoking is way better than smoking. If you tip the balance and your desire to quit is stronger than your desire to smoke then you have a chance.
Of course the funny thing is that there is nothing to gain from smoking and everything to gain if you quit BUT you don't really yet believe that and you must absolutely reprogram your thinking into believing just that. Allen Carr's book is great, reading and posting on this forum, reading other sites, thinking about being free from having to smoke to get your nicotine fix, listing all the positives about quitting, learning the truth about nicotine addiction, etc... Some folks need a bit to switch their thinking, I was a super stubborn one, and it took me a while.
No doubt you will get there as you seem to have the desire. Lots of support on here, keep posting and ask for help. You'll get there, don't just frantically quit.... get educated and then face your demons when you're prepared mentally. You can do it!
Hi Magic, All good advice from the previous posters. I would say try reading the Allen Carr book Easy way to give up smoking. It helps you deal with the psychology of smoking. I found it very useful and I know a lot of others who have too. Its worth a try. Also have you seen a smoking cessation nurse? Thye can offer lots of different ways to help you quit. I hope I have given you some food for thought. Never give up giving up!
Don't beat yourself up, i had about 6 months worth of Day 1's in a row. Allen Carr's book is definitely worth a read, he drones on a fair bit but he does a good job of dispelling a lot of the myths about smoking. Cost me less than a pack of fags as well.
Many thanks for all of your replies. Its amazing that you don't know me but are sill willing to spend a few minutes of your time replying to me - there's something very special about that.
I have now got the Allan Carr book on my Kindle (other e-readers are available). I downloaded it last night quite late so didnt have time to read any of it. I shall start it tonight.
karri, i think you are right - i can never go back to accepting this. Quitting will always be my aim. Andy yes thanks, the presentation went really well and went on from 3pm until 8pm (with 2 breaks) - tiring but rewarding.
I feel good about this today. Last cig last night at 10ish.
Try and read a good chunk of the Carr book. The psychology behind why you smoke i found to be really helpful in stopping yourself from doing it, and knowing how your brain and nicodemon will try and fool you into thinking that lighting up is a good thing....
Come on here... endlessly if you need to... everyone is going through or have been through what you are, dont feel silly, everyone is here to help.
Why don't you try going home and going straight to bed if the evenings are a big issue. Or failing this, go to the cinema or even to the gym for a while. Then you could go to bed when you get home and that way you have got through the night without it dragging. At least it would get you to day 2. This is something I considered a while back to get me through my first day.
For the first few days you will be buzzing around like a busy bee not knowing what to do with yourself. All those little jobs you have been putting off will now be getting done
The amount of people i speak to who say " i don't think i could quit" is quite staggering. That includes me to a certain extent but i always knew deep down i wanted to quit and that i could do it.
Don't doubt yourself mate, give it a go.
This may sound silly to you but i have gone through weeks where i've enjoyed the challenge of quitting. You get to a stage in your quit where you laugh at craves and everything that little demon throws at you.
Of course it hasn't all been a bed of roses but remember you are addicted to the most powerful drug there is. That's puts things into prospective.
OK look Magic. I don't do this for anyone normally but just to help you out I will join you at 7/8. As long as we are clear that I am taking one for the team just to help you get to day 2
Ha Ha your all heart Karri! I know you love your early nights
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