Major rantttttt!!!!!

I'm sorry I don't normally do this but having a really bad time at the moment arhhhhhh!!!!

I'm reading posts from people who have quit earlier than me who are struggling or have failed. Why doesnt it get easier the longer you go on???

I've quit before for a bit less time than this one has lasted, but the same thing is happening, I start to play mind games with myself. I know it's the addiction but it doesn't help!!!

I could happily kill my OH right now. He's just come back from the local saying he's left his cigs and lighter behind! Ye right, I dont think so, he can't go 10 mins without one- but it hasn't stopped me looking for them:eek:

A thread earlier in the week asked if being a non smoker has changed you?

I would say yes, I was much more sociable as a smoker. I now feel I am avoiding going out at all now. I think I have become a right misery.

Mind you, saying that, my youngest son, aged 18, past his driving test in March,has been involved in an accident 3 hours ago! It wasn't his fault and the other driver has been arrested for drink driving! But you know what I was really calm and did not think of reaching for a cigarette. Well not then anyway!

Good night all and thanks for listening, I'm going to bed because I'm so fed up but will not smoke today or tomorrow.

PS have the worst sore throat ever:(

Rant over think we all deserve an olympic medal for our achevievment and effort:)

3 Replies

  • Early "bo- bo's" got me through many a difficult day. Keep strong!!!:o

  • Hi Mags

    I hope you're feeling better this morning and I hope you've managed to resist. :)

    Diod you have a read of Helen's Day 454. If not, go read! I'm going to bump it up again! (I think Haze has been doing that).

    Honey, yes, it's crap. It sometimes feels like the wanting will never end. I'm starting to think that's why some people get months in and then cave - they run out of steam - just lose the will to keep fighting and just get fed up of feeling like they are on red alert all the time. I know I do!

    Or maybe there's just something in the air at the moment ...

    I've had a sh*t time on and off the last couple of weeks, which has knocked me for six, because I barely had a thought or sensation all the while I was on holiday. From Friday evening when I left work, all through yesterday, it's been awful. Didn't bother to mention it to DH, just tried to ignore the demon and thought that if I didn't acknowledge it, it would go away. Anyway, after several snaps at poor DH, I had to own up, which made me feel even more miserable, because acknowledging it now somehow makes me feel weak, as in, 'why, at 16 weeks, do I crave a cigarette so much'?!?

    Anyway, what we need to remember now is that it's all in the mind - nothing more than brainwashing. The terrorist is making last ditch attempts to trick us. It's nowhere near as bad as it was in those first few weeks. It just shocks us when that sensation takes hold and the subconscious won't let go of it.

    We know it has got easier, and we know it will get easier, and go away altogether, if we stick with our promise of NOPE. We know it's the only way.

    It takes a lot of guts, determination and energy to stop and stay stopped. Let's not waste time and energy being miserable because we can't do something we want to stop doing!

    See? Totally illogical and total nonsense! That is the work of the demon! :mad:

    We're nearly 4 months now, let's make sure we make it there and beyond. I'm desperate for a peak inside the Penthouse. You'll be there a week before me, getting ready for the huge partaaaaay we're gonna have!

    Stay strong. :D

    Shazza x

  • Thanks Shazza, I know it's all totally illogical and nonsense but yea I feel tired of fighting at the moment and I agree about feeling weak acknowledging that you are still struggling sometimes!

    Anyway, I AM feeling a bit better this morning. I've just had a big bowl of porridge to ease my sore throat and will put by energy into something more productive:)

    We will do this - one day at a time - onwards and upwards xxx

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