Keep failing what is wrong with me, bit of a rant!!

I'm so stressed and frustrated with quitting! I've had numerous failed attempts and have been stopping and starting this past few weeks. It had reduced me to tears so many times, I felt like I was losing my mind! Everyone's telling me I'm putting way to much pressure on myself but I'm afraid if I don't I'll lose the will to quit.

I just feel soo stupid, I've read the Allen Carr book twice in 3 days, I even wrote out 10 pages of points which clicked ( or so I thought) for me but yet I still gave in the next morning!!! Seriously am I thick??? Why is nothing clicking for me??? My daddy died of emphesmia (prob incorrect spelling) and my mammy has lung cancer yet I still smoke :mad:

I think I'm going to give my head a break for a bit but I still really want to quit! The question is what do I try next???

12 Replies

  • I honestly feel sometimes that you can start another quit to early. When i lost my two year quit i tried two more within a space of a month and found both really hard to quit.

    I simply gave up quitting to give myself a break from it as it wasn't doing me much good. The trouble is i left it far to long to give it another go.

    Perhaps you should recharge your batteries and give it another go in a few months time ?

    Whatever you choose don't give up totally. Keep educating yourself on it for when you start another quit.

  • Good Evening Mrs. Mash 09 please oh please do not think of yourself as a failure. Your just someone who hasn't succeeded yet, but you will. Your will and determination will make success a reality.

    Have you tried breaking your day up into more manageable segments i.e:- instead of stopping for 24 hours say to yourself I'll not smoke for the next 1/2 hour or even less depending how strong the urge to smoke is. Over time your resolve to quit will increase as you build up your time nicotine free.

    Remember your not a failure as long as your giving your quit your best shot.

    So hang on in there you get there.

    Regards and Best wishes for your quit

    Michael a.k.a:- lefoy123

  • Aww I'm so glad I've found this forum, everyone is soo supportive in every situation!

    I am going to give myself a break but I don't want to leave it too long! My little boy is 13 weeks old, he's my reason for quitting and why I'm putting so much pressure on myself to do it so I feel like I'm failing him :(

    Can you suggest any other reading material/ websites to help me educate myself some more for my quit???

  • !) Join other forums

    2) Watch youtube clips

    3) Read old posts on here and other forums

    Everyone has there own methods but i do like to watch video's that either frighten the life out of you or ones that pull your heart strings.

    Have you read ?

    I often just search Google on quitting. There's plenty of info out there. I'm also not getting any younger so i cannot afford to keep failing.

  • Another suggestion

    You might take a clear jar and fill it with used butts. Then fill the whole jar with water and put a lid on tightly.

    Keep the jar somewhere you can see it frequently. Tell yourself - this is what my insides look like when I smoke. This is what I'm putting myself through.

    Personally I haven't done this, but I do know someone who did, and they said it helped them a lot. In just a few hours, the jar looks horrid. If that's not enough, open the lid and take a deep breath.

    At any rate, as others have said, quit when you are really ready, not because you feel guilty you haven't yet succeeded, and try to remember that the seeds of your eventual success are to be found in the times you failed.

  • Aww Mrs Mash , give yerself a break doll, you have enuf stress at the mo with a little babba too see too, dont beat yaself up , have a break and do what ya need too do , then rethink everythin then come back when ya ready and strong eh .. ...we will still all be here too cheer ya on , :D now go give ya babba a big hug and make him a promise.. u will do it , wen ya ready ... u will know :) xx

  • Poor MrsMash - like the others have said, don't beat yourself up. With a thirteen week old baby you are bound to be sleep deprived and emotional, which really doesn't help with focusing on a quit!

    On the other hand you don't want to be smoking with little ones in the house, or to do what I did, and be sneaking around hiding your horrible habit from your kids for the next ten years!! Believe me, it's not fun, and it gives you a guilt complex!

    Cut yourself some slack for a couple of weeks, then take a deep breath and try again. I'd highly recommend for inspiration.

    You're not worse or weaker than anyone. Most of us here have tried and failed. But it CAN be done, once you get your head in the right place. As far as I'm concerned, just trying makes us all pretty heroic.

    Helen x

  • Mrs Mash

    there is lots of good advise in the above posts. Not much I can add but as already has been said take a step backwards get yourself settled down and come back strong when you are ready.

    Have a few fags and remind yourself how crap and smelly they are and why you wanted to quit in the first place.

    Hope to be hearing from your ready

  • Mrs Mash, there is such a thing as putting yourself under too much pressure, believe me. I am on a 'forced quit' cos I have to meet up with my elderly mother for four days and she will nag the hell out of me if I smoke :( So this aint gonna be fun :mad: But I told myself if I wanna smoke when I come back I can, and if I do, I will, and then quit when I am ready.

    Don't put yourself under pressure, quit for a day and see what that feels like. You don't have to quit for another day if you don't want to. But thing is, you might feel proud of yourself for quitting for a day, and want to try another one :) I got this from Alex I think, but it really is just only quit for today. The cigarettes will always be there if we want them, that is what I learned from Alex and it takes the fear out of quitting.

    So, lets go for it for a day, hey,

    Zoe xxxx

  • Aww I'm so glad I've found this forum, everyone is soo supportive in every situation!

    I am going to give myself a break but I don't want to leave it too long! My little boy is 13 weeks old, he's my reason for quitting and why I'm putting so much pressure on myself to do it so I feel like I'm failing him :(

    Can you suggest any other reading material/ websites to help me educate myself some more for my quit???

    MrsMash - In my opinion this is the best summary about giving up smoking and what happens to you:

    I totally understand you're trying to quit for your little one. Your health is one thing - but I really feel like I've lost out with my kids (2 and 4) by smoking. I have never smoked in front of them - but by not doing so I've had most of my weekends sopiled because I was planning my next "sneak away for a fag" rather than properly spending time with them.

    As you boy gets older, think about what you want him to see. Think about the sort of places you want to take him. I'm on my 4th "serious" quit since my eldest was born. You just got to keep trying!

  • Hi there,

    Sounds like you're really challenging yourself here...lots of extra pressure.

    There's only 1 time to give up and that's when you're ready. There's a huge difference between wanting to quit and being ready to quit. Most quitters I know can't explain the difference between the two it's just a case of 'you know'. I liken it to Alan Carr's easy way reference to an unhappy quitter I guess.

    Take your time in reading Allen Carr's book also. I read it over a period of a month or so to ensure each little bit of information was registered and 'in my brain'. I also downloaded the iPod version to listen to in the car - that's nearly 6 hours long if I recall.

    Don't put additional pressure on yourself by reading lots of other stuff. You're already got some direct exposure of why you feel you shoud give up with your parents and littlun, that's all you need. Trying to read other scary stories etc will just make you worry and therefore add extra pressure.

    If you are going to read more 'stuff' then I'd suggest sticking to the positive side, what are the key steps and milestones of a quit? When does your blood pressure etc return to normal. Nice possitive stuff to aim for.

    So take the pressure off yourself and do it in your own time when you're ready. There are things you can do like not smoking around your baby and changing your clothes etc, I was a smoker when I bought my daughter home...that was one of my drivers but it took me 4 months of changing clothes and smoking in the garden before I nailed it.

    SO...breath, relax and take your time :)

    One thing that drives a smoker to smoke is stress/pressure etc...that feeds the addiction.

    Remove those items and all should fall in to place.

    Hope this helps


  • Thanks everyone again for your support!

    I don't smoke around my son, I go out to the backdoor and will continue to do so as I wouldn't smoke around him nor do I want my house smelling of smoke! I also find this helps me smoke less as most times I wouldn't bothered to go out to the cold!

    Also just noticed bats outside so I won't go outside after 10.30 for a smoke as I'm afraid of them! Unless one turns into Edward Cullen lol!!

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