This is a difficult post for me to write cos here I am, back in Day 5 again :rolleyes: and sure I like not smoking, but what I can't deal with is my uncontrollable anger. Okay, so I had temper tantrums on my first serious quit last year, who doesn't, but now it is really out of hand. I can't do anything, I can't cook, go out in the streets, use my computer, without screaming the place down and my language is appalling. I have even managed to shout when I am eating for goodness sake, and nearly choked myself. Any little thing that goes wrong and I lose it.
A couple of quits ago (yes I have had many by now) I caved in and smoked just to shut myself up and be quiet for a change. But I don't like smoking anymore and want to quit, and this time around, however angry I feel I know it isn't a craving for a smoke. If I wanted to smoke I would do it, but I don't. So I don't really know where this anger is coming from but its making my life unbearable, its horrible for those around me and humiliating for me.
I don't know how to get any help with this issue, I talked to my doctor but he associates the anger with me quitting smoking and doesn't seem to want me to quit. Imagine how that makes me feel. Perfect alibi to smoke and at the same time sentenced to a smoking related illness in the not too distant future because it runs in the family. Course, my doctor is a smoker himself and has absolutely no intention of quitting, although he doesn't smoke much. But can you believe he actually came out with the typical smoker statement 'everyone's got to die of something' :eek: can't believe he said that, I was too shocked to speak, so thats one way to keep me quiet I suppose.
But all I want is to get on with my quit and be contented in it instead of being the wild virago I have become. I am normally quiet and shy believe it or not and the current situation cannot continue. I have tried deep breaths, relaxation exercises, but I seem to be on anger auto pilot.
Sorry to ramble on, but I feel so confused right now and don't know what to do. Sure I have a lot of frustrations in my life, but however bad things are they shouldn't be getting me into this state.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? If you have, please tell me.