Well this week was officially a nightmare, and I fell of the wagon.
First on Monday, SO was in hospital with chest pain, looks like a heart attack, but he is ok-ish now. His cholesterol is off the charts (he is not very overweight, carrying maybe an extra 15lbs), but has no thyroid gland so always struggles with this. He is back in on Monday to figure out the next step.
Second, on Tuesday, before the results were in, he decided it was stress living with me, and he wants to end it. Could be reactionary, but there have been problems there kind of like we have fallen out of love, and are just friends. Was devastated nonetheless.
Finally, I received a phone call this morning that my 8 month old niece was rushed to hospital unresponsive. They pulled her back, and have her on fluids and are trying to figure it all out, but seems she has an ear infection, chest infection, skin infection, throat infection and diarrhea. They are now looking at her immune system as she was never ill before and to suddenly come down with everything indicates a poorly immune system.
On top of all my health issues this year, stress of school, I just thought **** it. One of my friends took me outside of class as I was in tears, and I just grabbed one without thinking, then realized but thought why not and bought a pack. Idiot I know. So anyway, I am still freaking out over everything (literally having a giant anxiety attack, cannot stop crying for any length of time) and so, have decided to give myself until Monday (or before if I want) to give up again. Have several major exams on Monday so don't want to worry myself even more. Am very disappointed in myself, but equally it gave me the time out to calm down I needed (which is what I need to mentally deal with before jumping back in to my quit).
Essentially I am feeling very lost at sea right now, and have other things to worry about, but fully plan on getting back on the wagon.
Sorry to let everyone down - I was doing so well and nearly into month 6