Month 5 is done and dusted and it's onto month 6. At the end of the next month I will be seriously celebrating (well internally anyway). I've been feeling much more upbeat the last few weeks which is a major boost. I really thought I was gonna feel shitty forever!!!!! So really glad that I've got my mojo back!
Anyways, like I say I'm over the moon to have got this far and I've been trying to think of what I've done differently this time round to when I've tried and failed numerous times before. I definately had the same determination back then...I tried and failed miserably many times when I was pregnant with my son so the motivation was there too (yes I will never forgive myself for smoking whilst pregnant, albeit after drastically cutting down to only 3 a day).
So after racking my brains, I think a lot of this quits success is down to how I've reacted in the quit. In my previously doomed quits I got miserable, down, snappy, moody, tetchy, depressed, pretty much like a tantruming child at times and to be honest at times I've been like that during this quit too. So why do I not turn to the smokes this time round?
Well, instead of going down to the shops and buying some ciggies. I took a bit of advise from Obi Wan and "searched my feelings and known it to be true" that all I was doing was trying to provide a justification to smoke. And in all those failed quits I've given in and in my mind felt rightly justified to have done so. Ashamedly on my part, my poor OH got the blame many times too...when really it was down to my addict brain trying to provide a reason for me to smoke. What a saddo I was. I am only thankful that in this quit I've stopped and searched my own feelings before buying those ciggies, realised what the hell was going on and seen the pathetic, addict part of myself for what it was. A git that needs pointing out, ridiculing and kicked into France.
Anyways...here's to the next month and then it'll be a major landmark for me.....6 months and what a day that will be. I'll even bring cakes into work I think.
All the best everyone in their own quits.
Lisa xxx
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What a profound post and bit of insight!
I took a bit of advise from Obi Wan and "searched my feelings and known it to be true" that all I was doing was trying to provide a justification to smoke. And in all those failed quits I've given in and in my mind felt rightly justified to have done so.
I had not thought of it this way until now. When I've broken quits in the past, it was always because I had a "justification" to do so. A rationalization.
I remember a professor, way back when, turning to the blackboard to write something, and asking the class, "How do you spell rationalization?" As we began to call out the letters, she wrote...
L I E
Rationalizations, justifications, they're all LIES we use to start smoking.
Congratulations on completing five months - that's huge. I can't wait to reach that summit one day. And thanks for this post - it's huge, too.
What a wonderful read. im heading for 6 mths too. its nice to be catapulted out of winters drear and dark dungeons into the most splendiferous of springs. im starting to ping with delight every time i see another bursting bud. i love it when life applauds what im doing. how fantastic are we Lisa for getting this show on the road and keeping on keeping on
Dont anyone doubt that quitting smoking is nothing short of a self made miracle.
I really understood what you were saying about the justification and I have also come to realise the same thing so my quit is easier this time than ever before with only a handful of low moments.
Congtratulaions on month six - I can not wait to get there
Too right about the justification thing. Learn to recognise the voice of your inner junkie (he does try to disguise himself every now and again) and that's success right there.
Keep going, you'll be pulling up a seat at the penthouse bar before you know it!
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