How am I doing this?

We think we know ourselves. . we think we know our strengths/weaknesses . . Yet I've not a clue how I'm still not smoking after the stress of this week!

I thought that as I hadn't prepared to stop smoking and just sort of went for it . . then I may well cave at some point . . but so far not even close . . discomfort yes . . but not caved. I can't understand what's going on. It's weird for me this. I've had a busy week so far . . starting a new job (stressful) All employees smoke! (this has never been the case . . I've always been the social outcast and only smoker) so at break times they're all outside bonding and smoking. I've been getting lifts of one of 'em and she smokes in the car! . . I'm only on day 17 and I am amazed that I've not ripped her arm off for a drag!

What's going on?

17 Replies

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  • WELL DONE! That is excellent news!!!!!!:) you should be really proud of yourself, Sometimes we are stronger than we think, You are doing really well, keep it up!

  • Amazing. I'd find that situation impossible. One of the things I like(d) about smoking was the bonding!

  • Jo- you are doing awesome !!! Good Job :D

    Ivy- I agree, I liked the bonding part too, maybe that's why I went through a lonely patch during the begining of my quit.

  • Hi everyone and thanks for your messages . . I agree with you all . . and I did used to enjoy the camaraderie of the little smoking huddle and I really didn't think I'd be able to be in a car with someone smoking along side of me so soon without caving so I am surprised and proud.

    I bumped into an acquaintance today who said she had stopped smoking in June last year. Just suddenly felt like she was sick of smoking and just gave up and never ever wanted another one. She lives with someone who smokes in the house too! She's tried to quit before on patches etc etc and not been successful but she said she was so surprised how she didn't feel the urge to grab for a ciggie.

    I'm so proud of all my fellow quitters on here and the amount of support is amazing. Even if it's indirect and via someone elses thread or post. Thanks everyone xx Jo

  • I think everyone has a sort of inner lightbulb. Where something changes in your subconscious and you recognise the smoking habit for exactly what it is, and you realise that you just don't want or need it any more.

    Sometimes we can try and try to quit and the lightbulb doesn't come on, part of our brain still looks for an excuse to cave, and as soon as it comes along we give ourselves permission to relapse. Sometimes (this happened in my case) we try and try and grit our teeth and choose not to light up, for days or weeks or even months, and eventually the light comes on.

    Sounds like your inner lightbulb is not only lit, but flashing and making a 'beep beep' noise. And that's just brilliant :D

    Keep going!

    Helen

  • I totally agree with Helsbelles, your sub conscious has to click and see smoking for the pointless habit it is.

    I feel like mine has really clicked this time though.

    Your doing grand so far, well done.

  • I think everyone has a sort of inner lightbulb. Where something changes in your subconscious and you recognise the smoking habit for exactly what it is, and you realise that you just don't want or need it any more.

    Sometimes we can try and try to quit and the lightbulb doesn't come on, part of our brain still looks for an excuse to cave, and as soon as it comes along we give ourselves permission to relapse. Sometimes (this happened in my case) we try and try and grit our teeth and choose not to light up, for days or weeks or even months, and eventually the light comes on.

    I think this makes a lot of sense. Mine hasn't quite come on yet but I have had signs that it might. Maybe mine is on a dimmer switch ;)

  • Totally agree with Helsbelles.....you have to have seen the light...praise tha no smoking lord :)

  • CHANGE of HEART.

    Hello.

    Just read through this thread and I thought I'd share with you something which a helpful Austin Legro pointed me towards earlier on in my quit and which articulated my own feelings towards smoking and my decision to stop. He posted a brilliant piece (it's here somewhere) and pointed out that stopping smoking requires a CHANGE of HEART towards smoking and that for some people this entails a health scare , pregnancy etc or for others just realising that they are tired, grotty and smelly from smoking... oh add poor ( like me). I have read through many posts on the forum and have heard time and time again that this CHANGE OF HEART towards smoking and all it's connotations is the key to a successful quit..you know the legendary one (the one that lasts forever...)

    Sorry for the rant

    Pammie:)

  • Yeah I think this time I felt enough was enough and I had become sick and tired of smelling like an ashtray . . my hair is quite long and no sooner was it washed than it smelled nasty again! . . Maybe we do have to come to this place or reach this light bulb stage in order to make a commitment to ourselves. What ever it is I'm so glad I wasn't one of the addicts this week who stood outside on a wet windy day for a quick fix in between lectures. Excellent :D . . May we all continue to feel our own strength and revel in it people . . keep on keeping quit xx Jo

  • Well done jo, and everyone, and me, and everyone! :)

  • JUst had a lightbulb moment reading this thread re Bonding. whenever i spend time around smoking friends or aquaintances i want to join them i think i want to recapture that bondedness. quitting smoking has forced me into a kind of exile, its actually quite a lonely scary experience despite support from people incl u guys. i feel i owe smoking some kind of loyalty, which of course is a lot of tosh. not sure where im going with this. Iv struggled with letting go of the idea of smoking as a constant companion, a loyal friend and still get days where i fel utterly lost and incomplete, also whenever i see some people smoking they look so complete. i dont want to smoke i think im still finding my feet and confidence as a non smoker its weird, this quit is many layered its physical and pschological and just when iv got to grips with one aspect , another one rears up. quitting smoking is quite an amazing journey.does anyone else get what im saying.

    mash x

  • Know exactly what you're saying.

    Hi mash

    I know exactly what you're saying. Smoking was part of your life & now it's gone; something is lacking.

    Quite frequently I feel a general sort of discontent. My rational mind tells me this will pass & I just have to wait for that to happen. The feeling has elements of grieving in it.

    I suppose it's a bit like the "battered wife" syndrome. They keep going back to their abusive husband because they know that life so well. It is much harder to face the unknown.

    Cigarettes gave our health a good battering!!

  • Hi Mash . . Hi everyone . .

    I think that smoking becomes 'normal' and for a while, even after the nicotine has left the body, the memory of that life, that normality is still our main memory. Those times where we'd sit after a stressful moment or a huge pile of ironing (or what ever else) and have a cuppa (or glass of wine) in one hand and a ciggie in the other and feel at peace with the world.

    I remember one time during a quit feeling that there wasn't any 'treat' after such events now. I could do the ironing but not feel this 'deserved' treat afterwards.

    Last week was like that for all the co-workers in this induction. They had sat through a couple of hours of health and safety and other boring and dry subjects and were now stood outside celebrating with a ciggie. They huddled together and were a 'team' . . things were discussed outside that I wasn't party to. Telephone numbers were exchanged and I was inside . . alone . . being 'boring' . . or so it felt.

    But quitting is a process and it's not and overnight success . . it's a steady and daily decision not to smoke and each day we deal with the addiction/habit/routine and 'normality' and try to find a new 'normal' without cigarettes. We've gotta be kind to ourselves and be patient and not beat ourselves up for daring to think of cigarettes. That's not a failure, that's the memory of them . . distract yourself and pat yourself on the back for not allowing them to 'whisper in your ear' . . walk away from the thought and think of something else.

  • There's lots of aspects of smoking that I miss and I agree with what you are saying. I suppose what I am trying to do is focus more on the advantages of quiting rather than what I miss.

  • I think everyone has a sort of inner lightbulb. Where something changes in your subconscious and you recognise the smoking habit for exactly what it is, and you realise that you just don't want or need it any more.

    Sometimes we can try and try to quit and the lightbulb doesn't come on, part of our brain still looks for an excuse to cave, and as soon as it comes along we give ourselves permission to relapse. Sometimes (this happened in my case) we try and try and grit our teeth and choose not to light up, for days or weeks or even months, and eventually the light comes on.

    Sounds like your inner lightbulb is not only lit, but flashing and making a 'beep beep' noise. And that's just brilliant :D

    Keep going!

    Helen

    I totally agree!!! I know for a fact that there is no going back for me, My mind is made up and I will not cave at any time... I will be here a year...2 years...5 years from now telling you all that Im still going strong because Im positive and I am in the right frame of mind as well..Good luck to everyone!

  • Hi Mash . . Hi everyone . .

    I think that smoking becomes 'normal' and for a while, even after the nicotine has left the body, the memory of that life, that normality is still our main memory. Those times where we'd sit after a stressful moment or a huge pile of ironing (or what ever else) and have a cuppa (or glass of wine) in one hand and a ciggie in the other and feel at peace with the world.

    I remember one time during a quit feeling that there wasn't any 'treat' after such events now. I could do the ironing but not feel this 'deserved' treat afterwards.

    Last week was like that for all the co-workers in this induction. They had sat through a couple of hours of health and safety and other boring and dry subjects and were now stood outside celebrating with a ciggie. They huddled together and were a 'team' . . things were discussed outside that I wasn't party to. Telephone numbers were exchanged and I was inside . . alone . . being 'boring' . . or so it felt.

    But quitting is a process and it's not and overnight success . . it's a steady and daily decision not to smoke and each day we deal with the addiction/habit/routine and 'normality' and try to find a new 'normal' without cigarettes. We've gotta be kind to ourselves and be patient and not beat ourselves up for daring to think of cigarettes. That's not a failure, that's the memory of them . . distract yourself and pat yourself on the back for not allowing them to 'whisper in your ear' . . walk away from the thought and think of something else.

    I think this is a process in quitting substances in general, after the initial feeling good factor, being 'clean' becomes tedious and 'normal' and we want to grab a 'treat' again.

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