"When is it going to get easier" seems to be constant question on FB.
Permit me to post here and link...
It does get easier.
Even better, it gets easier quicker once you know what to expect and how to react.
1. Nicotine withdrawal.
It'll be gone from your system over a couple of days and you'll feel like you're coming down with a cold. If you want to avoid those minor feelings at a time when you're dealing with the mental side then take some NRT and withdraw over whatever timescale you're comfortable with. Cravings are not withdrawal symptoms. Don't confuse the two. If you subscribe to NRT you will still want to smoke regardless of what the TV, nurse or NHS tell you. Conversely the psychological effect of taking a 'medicine' may reduce your desire to smoke.
2. Stopping Smoking (physical)
Not inhaling smoke increases the oxygen levels in your blood making you feel odd, intoxicated and spaced out. Many report insomnia and weird dreams. Taking NRT, particularly 24hr stuff can intensify this. The resulting repair of your body throws up all manner of things like ulcers, acne, lethargy and so on.
3. Stopping Smoking (mental)This is your actual quit.
Every time a smoking opportunity arrives your subconscious will prompt you to smoke. It doesn't make the blindest bit of difference whether you're sucking on an inhalator or whether you've smeared peanut-butter on a piece of sellotape and slapped it on your forehead. You will be prompted continually until you decide to light up. You don't even have to smoke, just lighting up will kill the prompt. The prompt isn't a need for nicotine, it's purely a need to smoke.
The prompts don't happen when there is no smoking opportunity. Flying is a classic example. I believe that traditional flight smoking etiquette is to try not to think about smoking until about 30 minutes before landing, panic through customs and baggage retrieval and then rush outside and smoke 2 with the cab drivers.
If you can convince your brain that you're on a flight that's never going to land then the prompts will be non-existent.
OK, that sounds a bit weird but we know that prompts don't occur when smoking is not permitted so the trick is to convince your subconscious that from now on that it's prohibited continually.
If you can out-stare a mental prompt that manifests itself as a physical need you're laughing and each little battle gives you better ammunition for the next one.
The craves come thick and fast in the early days but slow down due to the prompts being less regular. For example you get the morning prompt every morning whereas the lying on a beach in the sun prompt is a little less frequent!
Never forget that it was YOU who forced your subconscious to allow your lungs to admit smoke into them when the natural reaction is dramatically the opposite and it is YOU who has to put a stop to it.
A note on Willpower
"A conscious application of effort against a subconscious desire to smoke is unlikely to be successful.
If we imagine a burglar trying to crack a safe with a combination lock we can all appreciate the futility of grim determination and continual attempts. Sure, he might strike lucky and mathematically, given enough attempts, he'll crack it.
However, turn up with the combination in his pocket and he's out of there with the contents.
Unfortunately far too many of us seem to get bogged down with the make of the safe, the burglars choice of mask and stripy sweater, what time of day the burglary was, what car he drove, what picture the safe was hidden behind etc etc and we forget that all we need is the goal, the combination and the opportunity."
Very few of us have the inner strength to maintain the effort necessary to consciously ignore the desire to smoke.
We can all summon the willpower to leave the sofa and empty the dishwasher or take the dog for a walk in the rain but we can’t do that for months on end. There are far too many demands on our conscious to keep the finger in the dyke and before you know it the habitual behaviour has returned.
If our conscious mind truly had control then a conscious desire to do anything would require no effort at all to achieve it whether eating less, or quitting fags.
Irrespective of how flamboyant we make our conscious desire to quit and who we tell or what we plan, failing to let the subconscious in on it will rarely prove successful.
People who quit, “just like that” aren’t hit with a massive dose of willpower one day or some super inner strength, they have something more akin to a change of heart rather than a change of mind.
I really wish I could tell you what it is and how to make it happen.
Many expectant mothers seem to manage it, a major bombshell from your GP or a genuine appreciation of our own mortality sometimes does it. For many others there comes a sudden realisation that they no longer want to smoke, the subconscious has in effect 'changed its mind.'
If you plan to quit, but really want to smoke, willpower will keep you off the fags until either you achieve the change of heart or run out of willpower.
Failing that, read widely and there’s a good chance your subconscious will find something that brings it in line with your conscious desires. Bear in mind that your subconscious doesn't necessarily (or usually) read what your conscious reads!
We are also our own worst enemies. Even if we've managed to quit, by either stubbornly hanging on or we've had a change of heart, we can still stumble when faced with a new dilemma that makes us open up the big bag of smoking clichés and pull out a corker.
I've fallen off the wagon at 6 months because I was stressed and we all know a fag "calms us down." That might have been my proper quit if I hadn't had that nugget of codswallop tucked away in my head...
Education is the key, it really is!
Written by
austinlegro
11 Years Smoke Free
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Really insightful post Austin. It described in an understandable manner the problems I feel I have had. What really struck a chord was that up until the last few weeks I was fighting like mad and still badly wanted to smoke. I am now currently achieving the change of heart you mentioned. I've been running on sheer willpower for the last four months and just when I thought I couldn't carry on any longer, I suddenly realised I really didn't want to go back to smoking, almost overnight my feelings changed. The thought of having to rush off for a smoke all the time and the control it would again have over me, no thanks, I'm doing just fine without them :). I'm probably still going to get triggers but the thought of smoking controlling me again almost frightens me out of the triggers. I'm getting to the stage where I don't view them as my friends like in the early days, they are the enemy and must be avoided at all costs. Now there's a post I never thought I would make, but proof that even the weakest most dependent upon smoking gal in the world can gain control of this addiction. No one who knows me ever thought I could do this, but I have, and I am proud I rode out all those horrible days and weeks because this really does get better. I think I am finally a non smoker :D.
Thanks for the post, Austin, it was relative for me just at the right time!
I had months of uphill struggle, fighting and gritting my teeth. Every day I was constantly wanting to smoke and every day I just said no no no no no, I choose not to do this. I read, I posted here, I ate like a pig, I kept repeating my reasons. And then... the change of heart did happen, almost imperceptibly. I don't know how or why, but it did. My brain has been retrained, and if I very occasionally encounter a mental prompt I recognise it for what it is and can sail through it with ease.
Honestly Mr Legro, this is the best post I've read in a very long time. Well done you.
Be careful, this is ONE person's experience and is in no way scientific. While I agree with some of what you said, much of it was way off for my quit.
Like he/she says, education is the key, not just taking what some people say as the truth. Find your own path and be careful of those peddling the "answer".
Be careful, this is ONE person's experience and is in no way scientific. While I agree with some of what you said, much of it was way off for my quit.
I was trying to find the post that this referred to and then realised it must be mine!
Far from being one person's experience the above actually relates to the majority of successful quitters. Unfortunately the success rate is still horrendously low.
Luckily science is one of the last things you need to quit. All the science side of quitting does is send people down the wrong path and wastes precious resources that could be better spent helping people to stop.
A clear understanding of why we smoke is the best starting point. Heading down the wrong path on day one makes it easier to get lost.
Find your own path and be careful of those peddling the "answer".
Bravo! We've been saying it for years!
Can I ask what was way off for your quit? I'm a sponge for data.
I know. That explains nothing though? Unless my addled brain is missing something this fine Monday morning? :confused:
Possibly addled...generally you are more explicit even if you're a bit in-direct.
But I see your point. The initial process of quitting, be it CT, NRT, Hypnosis, Champix, Spray, etc only gets us into the initial phase - the first battle. Whilst there's a further journey and that's the mental part where the real 'war' can be won.
Tis a fine sunny Monday morning
Edit:
...much of it was way off for my quit.
Plus
Can I ask what was way off for your quit?
Equals
Mea Culpa
Having not read Teleguy's post appropriately methinks my brain is addled by a bout of head cold.
Another excellent Austin post. Reminds me of the good old days, when I actually qualified as an ex smoker of course.
Wha...:eek:
Fek sake, SV...I know you posted about slippages previously. But surely you have the wherewithall to have turned things around. Get back into the World and knock the smokes back into touch.
Ex-smoker badge level 1a available to stitch back onto your cape as soon as....
I read your post Austin and re-read it several times and think it was very good!
I'm only entering my 23rd day of not smoking but will say I approached this quit using a more psychological approach than before on any other quits. I realized from previous attempts my failures were from what you said were "prompts".
I also believe that this time I truly want/wanted to quit. Yes, I'm still battling a war, but not on will power, which has made it easier to recognize the triggers or prompts that my inner brain sends.
Again, I realize I am in no way, shape or form over my battle. It took 40+ yrs of smoking to get in this habit and physical form, so it's not going to change over a few days, months, and/or maybe years.
It isn't/wasn't hard at all to let smoking take me over to begin with. But, by golly it's a LOT harder to stop, but not impossible if one wants it, accepts it, and embraces it!
I've drawn strength from posts such as yours Austin and from a few others. Again, very well stated. Thank You!
Fek sake, SV...I know you posted about slippages previously. But surely you have the wherewithall to have turned things around. Get back into the World and knock the smokes back into touch.
Ex-smoker badge level 1a available to stitch back onto your cape as soon as....
Hey Cav,
Just checking in.
I couldn't really describe where my quit is right now. I just reread my confession post. Ouch!
I couldn't really describe where my quit is right now. I just reread my confession post. Ouch!
The commentary I read from you when I was an aspiring quitter encouraged, 'onwards and upwards'. More so, amongst others you envoked education and understanding of the process. Back in the day that was important because those key messages did get lost within a morass of non advice purported to be the 'real thing' *sigh*.
Really wouldn't know where to start in advising a mentor. Hoping you sort out the entangled messages and get something positive for yourself...sooner rather than later.
If you plan to quit, but really want to smoke, willpower will keep you off the fags until either you achieve the change of heart or run out of willpower.
Failing that, read widely and there’s a good chance your subconscious will find something that brings it in line with your conscious desires. Bear in mind that your subconscious doesn't necessarily (or usually) read what your conscious reads!
Amen, except perhaps there is a way to invoke the power of the conscious above the sub-conscious without having to wait for a revelation?
Amen, except perhaps there is a way to invoke the power of the conscious above the sub-conscious without having to wait for a revelation?
Alex.
I think that needs a big sign pointing towards a hypnotherapist?
It's where my experience runs out though. A good internet search shows it to be very successful but I don't know anyone who's tried it and failed never mind tried it and succeeded!
Even strangers on forums like this, when quizzed, who report failure with hypnotherapy, seem to produce a commentary that is mostly apocryphal or full of clichés; it wore off, I didn't go under, he just talked to me etc...
If ever, through some bizarre event, I find myself smoking again and wishing to quit it'd be my first port of call. Reading Supervillian's post above makes it less far fetched than I could imagine.
Other than that I have yet to find a technique that speeds up the process. I wish I could though. I've always fancied being staggeringly rich!
I think that needs a big sign pointing towards a hypnotherapist?
Hmm, I really hadn't thought about that but indeed it could be a solution. I really wonder if it does work, and what sort of success / failure rates there might be. I also wonder - if it is so successful - why it's not become a mainstream quitting method... high-cost / insufficient expertise ??? In any case, I'm not sure how I would feel about having my persona controlled by an outside force! But then again, I probably wouldn't even know :eek:
In any case, it would be great to find that silver bullet!
Despite the fact that we all struggled to stop being controlled by an inside force? :rolleyes:
Yeah, well we didn't know what we were getting into at the time, did we? Nobody said it would be hard to stop once you get started, and even if they did, most of us (teenagers at the time) didn't believe it was really all that addictive. Doh!
2. Uneducated confusion and propagation of myths of hypnotherapy vs hypnotism.
He he, call me ignorant What's the difference then?
Alex.
He he, call me ignorant What's the difference then?
Alex.
One involves a serious guy/girl helping you with quitting, the other has you running round a stage in your under crackers clucking like a chicken to the birdie song:eek:
One involves a serious guy/girl helping you with quitting, the other has you running round a stage in your under crackers clucking like a chicken to the birdie song:eek:
I take it you're speaking from personal experience? :D:D
The commentary I read from you when I was an aspiring quitter encouraged, 'onwards and upwards'. More so, amongst others you envoked education and understanding of the process. Back in the day that was important because those key messages did get lost within a morass of non advice purported to be the 'real thing' *sigh*.
Really wouldn't know where to start in advising a mentor. Hoping you sort out the entangled messages and get something positive for yourself...sooner rather than later.
Your too kind - there was a few of us back then that would fit that description. To be honest, I havent really lost any of that - its just become skewed slightly, and I'm not sure how to apply it to what I am now, and have been for the past couple of years.
What I didnt admit to last time, was that there was definitely some arrogance on my part. I was two and a half years quit and genuinely thought I could have the occasional puff without repercussion. And there hasnt been any really, not seriously anyway - I've never come remotely close to being a 'real' smoker again. But, if anything, being a 'social', 'occasional' or whatever you want to term it, smoker, is actually more frustrating. To me at least.
I'm re-reading my books again, and getting Vol II of Chris Holmes' book also, which I never read - I know Austin recommended it to me.
I'll probably be around a little more for the forseeable!
He he, call me ignorant What's the difference then?
Stage hypnosis is entertainment. The hypnotist is there to put on a show for an audience and his subjects are part of the show. Their skill is in getting the right people to perform the required parts.
Generally a stage hypnotist will have no training, knowledge or experience of offering therapy to any of their subjects. They're looking for someone suitable to cluck like a chicken not someone who is clearly terrified of flying.
Mind control is a myth. The hypnotist is not saying "you will cluck" and the hypnotherapist is not saying "you will not smoke"
Over simplified, the idea is to bypass the conscious through trance and communicate with the subconscious. However the subconscious isn't some compliant robot just following instructions, it needs to be cajoled and re-trained to do something that it's already aware of. The therapist is merely a conduit for a solution already within the subject.
Despite what we see in films etc the, when I say the words, "My old maiden Aunt who lived in Winnipeg" you will jump in the river but find yourself unable to swim but able to tread water, is just fantasy.
Karri - Am I right in saying that it's the psychological nature of the post which you find valuable? If so, there doesn't seem to be a forum dedicated to this. Perhaps a new forum called "Psychological advice to stop" (or a better name than that!) could be created under "Help to Stop". Some of the classic posts could be made sticky on there.
Karri - It seems a shame that older, high quality posts are effectively unavailable since they are very difficult to find (and even harder if you don't know they exist).
It would be helpful if high quality posts were all in one place, so they could be easily accessed. Also, so that their very exisitence might be made known to newer members.
However, there would seem to be a practical problem in how to achieve this, given that the posts are effectively buried at the moment. One possibility might be as follows:
A section could be made in the forums for them. Then, when someone comes across a classic post they could alert the moderators to it's quality. The moderators could then put it in the Classic posts forum. It would probably be necessary to make it impossilble to make a direct posting in the classic posts forum (to prevent the build-up of non-classic posts).
I am afraid I don't know much about how the board works, so I don't know if this is actually practical. Also, I don't know if this would create unreasonable work for the moderators or anyone else.
Do you think something like this might work?
Part of what makes this forum useful is the distraction element that it provides. I seem to recall about 18ish months ago struggling one saturday and Karri, Divingdale and myself spent nearly the whole day looking through old posts.....
Seems like that element would be lost if you did not dig about for yourselves. Also whilst single posts such as this one are very useful, try following one persons journey through the forum and see how inspiring that can be.
HAPPY 2 YEARS QUIT too
Thank you!! X
Oh John you have made me have a host of memories flood back. The thread with Brillo still makes me laugh out loud - do you remember this?
So let me get this straight Brillopad is not Brillo, Ausitn doesn't know whats going on, Cav got a headache, Karri's an alcholic and there is a chocolate cat on the loose!!
Have I missed anything out?
And now I've remembered when you said you put your quit money in a bowl and your wife bought the kids shoes :eek: ha ha ha ha ha
See these are the things that are just as important as the info shared, keeping each other positive and distracted.
And to keep everyone updated, many, many more shoes have been purchased out of the savings jar, given up asking "are those shoes new?"
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He quit CT as indicated in his sig 
What's the difference then?
