What a day!

Hi All,

I'm on day 5 today and up until this point I genuinely thought I was over the worst (naïve, I know) By now the nicotine has been flushed from my body and all that’s left is to retrain my mind.

I concur with other posters that stated: this week has been the longest week of my life. Without a shadow of doubt it feels that way right now. Add to this, work commitments have been tough this week which I did not expect nor prepare for and today it hit me for six! :eek:

Yesterday was tough with the odd monster craving but I felt good by the end of the day just for merely getting through it. This morning though, upon arriving at my desk all of those feelings from the previous day came flooding back to me with the power of a tsunami and I very nearly internally combusted! The raw emotion drove me to stand up and walk out of the office before I made a scene. I'm not referring to frustration or anger here, but pure emotion.

My colleague must have seen my face or my body language because he followed me out of the office with every intension of having a chat and making sure I was ‘stable’ again before re-entering the office. I am not a particularly emotional person by any means, but I literally broke down! This is not me at all.

We went for a walk outside for a good half hour and we talked. I did mention that I was in the middle of my quit and that I’d felt irritable through the week but I did not expect to feel emotional too. I’ve probably only shown tears to my wife of 11 years perhaps once.

Anyway, after talking it through I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I'm now in a much better position to soldier on. Also I never appreciated what great and supportive people I work with every day. I am still blown over by my ‘episode’ but It has helped me realise that smoking can have quite a grip on your psychological state as well as the physical effects.

Thanks for reading.

7 Replies

  • All normal

    Hey there all these emotions are normal and part of the quit journey. I remember my first week counting the days/hours/minutes and in the end I felt exhausted with it.

    It does get better, honestly it does, just try and keep posting and reading here as I know it helped me no end.

    Keep positive :D

  • Thanks SaraM,

    I fully agree that it does get better. I just went through a tunnel and came out the other end feeling 100% better. Posititivity is my new middle name :D:D:D

    It also helps that there are other people out there and they know the experience first hand. I feel as though I am one of those people now.

    Its quite a jouney we put ourselves through, but as long as we persevere we will all come out feeling great about ourselves.:cool:

  • Oh yes, fraid that feeling is perfectly "normal" :confused:

    I have felt every emotion that there is in the last 3 months. Right up til about 3 weeks quit I could burst into tears at the slightest thing. I walk to work everyday and in those early weeks I was crying my eyes out the whole 20 minute walk......luckily I dont pass many people on route, otherwise I might have been locked up :o My hubby must have thought he was living with a complete lunatic, but honest, it does get better. Didnt believe the others before me on the forum when they said it gets better. BUT I now actually walk to work with a huge grin on my face :D

  • Hang in there, you are doing great!!!!:D

  • I think a lot of people expect to find it plain sailing after the nicotene is gone from their system. And to be fair, for some people it is - but not for many.

    The majority of us then face the pretty arduous task of retraining the brain to think like a non-smoker. At first it's a constant battle because every day brings you up against familiar smoking triggers. It can be all-consuming and pretty exhausting resisting the urge to smoke - which can feel just as physical as the nicotene withdrawal symptoms do, and can cause a lot of emotional upheaval. But the good news is as you break down those mental associations and you adjust to the new normal it does get easier and easier.

    As long as you understand what to expect and keep the positive attitude you'll be fine. You're doing fab!


  • Thank you for this post.

    Day 5 has been an emotional minefield for me. I too had to get up and leave the office earlier, cried in my appraisal (too complimentary) and left at 4pm as exhausted!

    Your post has just made me feel normal!

    The weird thing for me is that I've had zero cravings and can start to see the 'old me' returning, so what was today about?!!!

    Anyway, hope all is still going well and thanks again.


  • It's really helpful to read these posts. I've been emotional all week, crying at the drop of a hat. It's nice to feel I'm not abnormal. Thanks. K

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