Im finding myself playing with the idea that to smoke would make me feel normal, since quitting my idea of normal has changed its just not there anymore. i dont want a cigarette i dont even want to feel normal im just aware that my body at some level is registering this aint normal. i suppose years of smoking would have caused me to never feel the way i was meant to feel.. bbogh bliifg crash bang wallop my brain has just crashed i think im onto something though, some more insight into addiction, im sure this will all make sense tomorrow, i feel a new normal coming on and never want to go back to smoking
Mash x
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I don't know what 'normal' is, but smoking won't make you feel like that. I was 'abnormal' even smoking, and likely to remain so.
But please don't smoke after you have worked so hard to quit and all you have been through.
When I crash I go for it bigtime, not the 'just one' but straight for a pack of 20 :rolleyes:. And they taste foul. So don't even go there. You are in month 4 now so well done you.
have no intention of smoking just thought id write that post cos id become aware of those thoughts mentioned , perhaps i could have wrote it differently and missed out playing with ideas , it was just a figure of speech not to be taken serously. my main point is the way that my mind can be tricked by an addiction thats always waiting to pounce.
I don't think anyone I know would ever class me as normal even if I was never a smoker :D, I quite often do off the wall things then get told 'you aint normal you aint' I just say 'so you think you are'
I'm not sure I ever want to be a normal person I just want to be me...normal = boring
I know what you was trying to say though and yes the nicotine monster will always be lurking inside us and that's just the way it is, so long as we don't feed it, it will sleep and eventually hibernate...
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