I can't do this!

I got so angry trying to register for this forum. I kept messing up the anti spam thing and got to ANGRY!

This is day one and I feel so mad and angry. I feel like I can't do this. My three kids and their father are all off from school this week and maybe I picked a bad time to start trying! :(

I feel like it is not fair to my kids to have an angry mommy as opposed to one who sneaks outside for a ciggy every few hours.

12 Replies

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  • you can do this i used to feel like you at the start

    anger is normal it will subside and pass and i think your kids would rather have an angry mummy for a little while rather than no mummy at all because smoking killed you

    you know there is never a good time to quit you will never find a good time because your nicodemon will never give you a good time so you have to take charge and tell that nicodemon you are gonna quit and you are stronger than him

    sometimes we create stress and anger ourselves in order to give us a good excuse to smoke, smoking wont help the stress or the anger, have a good read through all the posts on here it will make very interesting and informative reading, maybe get a copy of allan carr easyway book definately helped me

    you can do this i was like u sneaked out away from my kids to smoke and here i am 2 days away from one whole year if i can do it u sure can

  • Thank you. You are right, there will never be an easy time to do this. know it is sad to say but smoking is (being positive now) WAS my friend. I enjoyed getting out of the house with 'her for a sec.' My break from the selfless mother/ maid role.

    I need to find new ways to 'reward' myself and get 'me time.'

    I'll be sure to read through more posts and look into that book.

    Thank you I needed a little encouragement. I do not have support from home. My husband HATES smoking and as far as he is concerned I should never have started and all I have to do it stop, that is that. He just doesn't realize how hard it is.

    I am glad I found this forum. Ok I gotta go peel and orange now!! lol

  • Thank you. You are right, there will never be an easy time to do this. know it is sad to say but smoking is (being positive now) WAS my friend. I enjoyed getting out of the house with 'her for a sec.' My break from the selfless mother/ maid role.

    I need to find new ways to 'reward' myself and get 'me time.'

    I'll be sure to read through more posts and look into that book.

    Thank you I needed a little encouragement. I do not have support from home. My husband HATES smoking and as far as he is concerned I should never have started and all I have to do it stop, that is that. He just doesn't realize how hard it is.

    I am glad I found this forum. Ok I gotta go peel and orange now!! lol

    your absolutely right you feel you are losing a friend its all part of the process bereavement is normal as is emptiness, sadness etc but happy to report they all pass and get easier to cope with

    when i first quit i felt i had too much time on my hands but believe me that doesnt last i am still rushing around like a mad thing now trying to fit everything in , one thing is for sure i definately couldnt take up smoking again i wouldnt have time now lol

    it is hard if you are around someone who has never smoked as they will never understand what you are going through but you have found this forum and everyone here will know exactly how you feel

    post on here whenever you ned to sometimes just getting it off your chest helps rather than it going around and around in your head

    you can do this

    boo

  • Just watched the easy way to stop smoking in youtube. It was all making since but after I was cooking dinner and lost the plot! I yelled at the kids for no real reason and then walked away feeling bad about that and now I am crying my eyes out. God I feel like a crazy person. :( All these mood swings because of not smoking. I know having one now would only make me feel better for a little while then we are back were we started.

  • dont worry crying is normal to i did that and i remember feeling ridiculous because i was crying because i couldnt smoke but it does get easier you really just have to keep dragging yourself through this tough bit in order for it to get easier there is no majic cure for these early days but reading and educating yourself on why you are feeling like this is they key

    it is very emotional at the start but so worthwhile in the long run

    stay strong and keep reading

    boo

  • look up the post :

    For all new quitters! Please read!

    by s17

    a avery helpful post

  • I so feel for you and would love to come give you a hug but I can only send you a virtual one

    5977

    As for those that have never smoked trying to understand how we feel and how our body reacts to the withdrawal they have no idea, does hubby drink??? if he does ask him how long he could go without an alcoholic beverage, he will say it doesn’t bother him I bet, but if he had to give that up (which as a non alcoholic is still not easy for someone who enjoys a drink) I bet he would struggle, I know it’s not as hard as giving up the cigs but he is lucky he never started , my OH has never smoked but has a bit of an idea that it’s not easy as his dad smokes and can’t give it up but tell his wife he has, that to me is worse.

    Keep telling yourself you are doing this for yourself not your OH and look how well you are doing, time will make it easier I promise.

  • Thank you, this board has been great today! I had a lovely dinner and did NOT have a smoke after! Feeling happy about that.

    jamangie, thanks for the hugs :) My dh does not drink. It makes it worse because he has not real vices. He is getting better in that he said he knows he doesn't understand plus he hasn't asked to use the computer because he knows I am on a support board every second I get today.

    Thanks again girls!

  • nice one getting through that 'moment'

    keep going :)

  • Welcome to the forum, and well done for staying strong through a trying day. I well remember how tough it is, and the rollercoaster of emotions in the first week or two. You absolutely have to hang on to the belief that if you stick this out it will get better - every single one of the long term quitters will tell you that, and IT IS TRUE.

    I know that doesn't help much now, but try to keep it in your mind. Don't let your addiction demon do that whisper, you know the one... 'you're one of those people who are so addicted they will always feel this bad unless they smoke, why punish yourself, go on...'. Tell that demon to GET KNOTTED! IT'S NOT TRUE! You CAN do this! Just choose not to smoke today. Tomorrow can take care of itself.

    I absolutely know how you feel re getting away from the kids and having 'me' time. It was one of the main things that stopped me giving up for years. I also liked having this little slice of naughty in my otherwise nicey-nice wife and mother life. I thought it was a part of who I am.

    But I discovered that the kids really weren't that aggravating, it was just my craving for the next fix that made me impatient with them. Once I broke that cycle I didn't feel the need to escape nearly so often, I became much more patient. And you can still make those 'me' moments, it can be done, and they're 'me' moments that aren't poisoning you... which has to be a bonus :)

    I also discovered that smoking doesn't define our character, that's just the bullsh1t of addiction. Break through that barrier, and you're still you, just a you that doesn't stink and can breathe better!

    So all in all, what I'm trying to say is - this is so worth it. Please keep plugging away, don't be disheartened. You can beat this, and we're all here to help.

    Helen x

  • Helen, thank you. Your words rang true on so many levels. "liked having this little slice of naughty in my otherwise nicey-nice wife and mother life" I have actually said that to friends of mine. I liked having my own little vice. Something that reminded me of who I was before the mom, wife role. But I see that is all rubbish! That video on youtube really helped me today!

    I know I made it though day one. I was a little worried this morning I was not ready but the support I found here reminded me I can do it. It is my choice. And I choose NOT to be a smoker today.

  • Good on you! Keep going, one day at a time.

    H x

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