Well... Im here.
Didnt think id have gotten this far, thought at day 4 that i would have cracked... but i didnt, im still plodding on.
Its not been easy, there have been times where i could have given up and brought a pack, tasted that bitter taste of defeat.
My triggers have been:
Being on my own: others would class this as boredom but its not that.. even though i was occupied, being on my own is a trigger for me, the feeling of lonlyness.. a ciggarette always filled the time. I got around this by using my new coffee machine, buying yet more books and cleaning.
Coffee and laptop kitchen combo: No its not a Dominos/pizza hut new pizza and it dosnt come with a side order of curley fries! Its an early morning ritual where i would flick on the kettle, load up the lappy and inhale that first load of crap of the day... i got round it by going into the living room (no smoking area even when i was a smoker) with my laptop and coffee and sitting in comfort.
Certain friends and family: a close friend and 2 members of my family (Aunt and Father) I havnt avoided them, but i havnt been chasing after them to inhale their fumes either.. My closest friend and my Father came to our house on Christmas day, my Dad was here all day smoking away like a chimney, at first i thought i was going to find it stupidly hard.. but i didnt, it was easy... at first..
Then the evening buffett time came and my friend came around too, they both know each other so naturally spent time in the kitchen (smokers zone) chopsin away in comfort with a ciggy in one hand and booze in the other.... I contented myself with home made rum jello shots, wine and anything else that came to hand.. I did at one point get my inhalator out, but my OH took it away from me, like he said, iv done so well for so long, iv been cold turkey since day 8... why bring back "the crutch"
Tbh after they had gone i couldnt wait to empty the ashtray and get rid of the smell of smoke, it smelt vile, i could smell it on my cloths, in my hair.. everywhere
Phone calls/gossip: I really didnt think that useing either my landline or my mobile would be a trigger... whadda you know!?! it friggin is!
All them times of deep interesting gossip/bitching or getting annoyed at people (council/utiliti companies etc) i used to have a little friend in my fingers burning away, staining my insides like my foul language would stain the phone line (especially if its the council!) Now i just sit.. without anything in my hand.. weird.
Even the stress of being in hospital hasnt got me reaching for one. Its strange, 18yrs of being stubborn and thinking i couldnt quit, yet here i am day 31 of being an "ex smoker"
Heres to even more days of not giving in...