Day 10: Christmas Day!

This is a very special Christmas for me. My first Christmas as a spouse. My first Christmas as a step-parent; as a in-law. My first Christmas with an extended family.

Though it's very poignant for me that today my great, great aunt is terminally ill in hospital. It's very sad in that these things should happen at all, but that's where it ends. My aunt is 93 years old. She's lived a long, happy, and fulfilling life. She's never been taken ill, and remained fit, healthy and independant right the way through. She enjoyed life to the full, out-living my dear uncle by over 30 years. She's in very good spirits. This is typical of her.

I have extremely fond memories of Christmas as a child. I would spend them with my parents and my great, great aunt and uncle. Thinking of her now brings back a lot of happy memories from a time long, long ago. A time of complete inocence; a time when the world was new and I was the centre of it -- full of exitment and hope. I fealt an unpresidented sence of wonder and exitement. I fealt safe to the point of being bulletproof.

Somewhere between then and now, I lost my way. I spent a great many Christmases away from my family. I became cold, selfish, misrible and resentful. Scrouge held nothing on me. I would have eaten him for breakfast and asked for afters. And I punished myself for it. Hard.

But now I've changed. A lot. Someone came along and saved my soul. I'm sitting here watching Morcambe & Wise along with my family. And when I look at them, wearing their stupid paper hats and moaning about each other, it makes me smile. And it just goes further to prove to me what I already knew: I'm happy now, and I'm so glad that I quit smoking. Time moves forward and us along with it. We change. Old things end and new things begin. Smoking has no part in my life anymore because now, unlike then, I care about life and everything in it. When you fee like this, it isn't very hard to stay smoke-free.

I hope that everyone's having a great Xmas.

And here's to you all!

Be happy or be sad. But be good, and be kind.


1 Reply

  • hello there legs

    merry xmas

    you have done extremely well on your journey sorry to hear about your great great aunt i also remember xmas as a child the whole family at nannas house everyone being nice also remember and miss the money in the xmas pudding ah for the good old innocent days of being a child but then my nannas partner passed away and slowly but surely after that xmas dinners just were not the same until it got to the point where my nanna had her last xmas everyone just seemed to know to visit her at the same time and we all remembered the old days but then within a few months she also passed away and now xmas is pretty much spent at home on our own with only immediate family my son is now 15 and he has never met 99% of my family - sad i know

    legs you have now found your way and i wish you only good things for your future er i mean smoke free future lol



    One week, 1 hour, 14 minutes and 48 seconds. 423 cigarettes not smoked, saving $215.77. Life saved: 1 day, 11 hours, 15 minutes.

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