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No Smoking Day
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My missus refusing to drive

Hiya all,

I won't bore you with the more general reasons about why I gave up as they are more or less the same as most other people's i.e. noticeable poor fitness when playing football, being skint but wasteing money, health, not wanting to die years before time, etc.

However one of my little additional extras that spurs me on came about through a very minor nag/arguement at my missus. Despite being in her early 30s she can't drive. She also steadfastly refuses to learn. I have had minor moans at her over the years we have gone out but it hasn't ever been an issue as we both live in Manchester.

However whilst I was nagging at her the last time she said she would learn to drive when I gave up smoking. Knowing that I had tried to give up fairly regularly and failed she also added the caveat that she would only consider it if I was quit for at least two weeks.

Well three and half weeks later all I can say is BROOM BROOM PARP PARP *skid noises* you'd better get some lessons booked :D

13 Replies

hahahaha Tropical...well done on that artful agreement. Your missus needs to learn a lesson or two though (and not just driving lessons)....no way is two weeks an exceptable time period to agree to learn to drive...I'd have stipulated you must be quit 6 months. I must admit I only learn't to drive when I had to (i.e. my baby was on the way and actually getting out and about without driving would have been a nightmare (I live on the borders of Birmingham with shit bus routes)). Without driving I would've gone stir crazy in months. It is really useful though, my husband nagged at me for years to drive (not all the time but off and on). I kept saying it was not very enviromentally friendly. He saw right through I suspect. I was only 34 years old and shit scared of driving a big metal box at high speeds. Glad he nagged me now though, she'll appreciate it when she's passed. Eat my dust mofo...I said to my husband the day I passed LOL!

Lisa x


on hindsight you are as always correct. Two weeks is a fairly minor time period.

To be honest i haven't pestered her about it as I know she has a lot on her plate at the moment with financial outgoings and she treats me way more than I deserve.

Still good to hold it back in reserve though.


Hey, I'm nearly 30 and can't drive!!! I had lessons in my home town, failed my test then moved to Manchester. I have to say I'm on your missus' side (:p) - there's no way I'm driving anyway near those buses :eek:.

Well done on your quit btw, and hope your missus' lessons go well!


I'd say when things are better for your missus and she's less stressed I'd mention the driving thing tho. To be honest I was reluctant at first as it's something that has always scared me. I am so glad my OH kept bringing it up every so often...it's the best thing I've done. I can meet up with friends when I want, see my mum, go shopping etc. Great stuff, I don't have to put people out or get buses/trains in the pouring rain. So only joking before tropical, I'm seriously glad I can drive now (even though I've only been passed 2 years and it still scares me driving to new places).


I'm 43 and I can't drive :eek:

Totally terrified, phobic is probably the word. Only need to sit behind the wheel of a stationary car with the engine off and I get shaky. Have had recurring anxiety dreams about driving since I was tiny. My husband tries to be understanding but I know he wants me to learn.

On the plus side, I am a very calm and well behaved passenger. :)

Maybe now I've conquered the smoking thing I can put my energies into overcoming my fear. Shame they don't make Champix for fear of driving :(


Shame they don't make Champix for fear of driving :(

Yeah, I could do with that.

I guess mine comes from being involved in several traffic incidents - no-one seriously hurt although once we were taking to hospital in an ambulance as they thought my dad might've had a neck injury (as an aside, it's weird how quiet the siren is when you're inside).

Also had an accident on a driving lesson - not my fault, idiot woman tried to go around me on a roundabout, and instead hit the front driver's side.

Sorry Tropical, hope your missus isn't reading this :eek:.

I would like to learn again, but I'm just too nervy, and my concentration is pretty rubbish these days.


heehee some good responses here :D

I just keep on trying to explain how it will improve her quality of life i.e. you can apply for jobs outside of city/town centres, you have more flexibility, more freedom.


you have more flexibility, more freedom.

...you can drive me home when I've had a few :D

Luckily my OH drives, but in a previous life I was the only driver...had many a sober wedding, curry, christmas :(


Don't laugh but the reason I didn't start to drive until I was 34 was I ran over a cat when I was aged 18 on my second driving lesson, broke both of it's back legs. My driving instructor was a complete twat and said if I stopped to sort the cat out he would drive off and leave me....guess what happened. That's right he drove off. Since then it put me off until I really needed to drive. But if you can confront the fear of driving.....please, please have a go. Like giving up smoking it's like a new life has opened up for you. You really can go and do whatever you want, whenever you want. And in arguments you can grab your keys and make a dramatic exit...only to slink back after 20 mins cos you have no where to go LOL!



you guys have me in stitches

I am the sole driver and am always on hubby's back to learn cause i do all the driving, i love driving but i would sometimes like the choice esp when we live in peterborough uk and we go places like france (via ferry) so 4hrs to ferry 4 hrs otherside blah blah we been dorset amazing drive when your not aching all over from driving for so long etc etc.

i so wish i had of used that on hubby if i give up you learn to drive! didnt think quick enough lol, i wouldnt anyway as hubby took a few lessons when he was younger and failed 2 tests! then got leukemia at 19yrs, his coordination is not just socks and sandals now lol (he doesnt really).

i just know that he doubts he could learn to drive now but i never thought i could give up smoking, having that to boost his confidence wouldve been great so maybe i will say if 23/01/12 (3 months for me so will have some money saved for this) if still smoke free will you take lessons again?

never quit quitting



I am not bragging when I say I was taught to drive by my dad at 15 on an airfield and took to it like a duck to water, at 16 I passed my bike test and at 17 and a couple of weeks I passed my driving test, if I couldn't drive I would be lost it is my lifeline, if someone had said to me smoke or drive it would have had to be giving up the cigs, now I have done both and had new car which always smells fresh, I could drive for days and not mind in fact my OH very rarely gets to drive me any where.

Come on ladies you will never regret it and like Lisa said when you slam out of the house you can at least drive round for an hour, he doesn't need to know you have no where to go LOL


Another sole driver here. :(

I tried to teach poor Mr T to drive about 20 years ago and it all ended in tears (his, not mine). Gave up when he got us wedged between some parked cars and refused to reverse. I was so cross that if I could have opened my door I would have got out and left him there. My Dad had taught me to drive by hitting me round the back of the head when I did something wrong. I tried that on him, but it was futile. Maybe this technique only works for girls...


No Mrs T it works with us because we learn very fast where as they dont.

A slap and we absorb and dont do it again, a slap with them and they ask why uh LOL


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