New seemed like a fitting title as I'm new to this site, this is my new attempt to quite smoking and I'm new to the country I live in.

I have been smoking for 4 years and I am constantly trying/saying I'm going to quit. The best I managed was for 1 month last summer. I know it hurts my family especially my mum, she hates to know I smoke even if I promised never to do it in front of her and I hate knowing I'm disappointing them. My fiancé smokes as well although he has smoked for 9 years now. He wants to quit as well but together we're hopeless at it one or the other talks the other into having a cigarette. I've tried telling everyone I've tried telling no one. I've tried cutting down I've tried cold turkey. I've tried having a non smoking friend encourage me but I found it irritated my nicotine starved nerves. My smoking friends don't want to quit so I have no one to try a quitting pack with except my fiancé but as I've said we're hopeless together.

This time I want it to be different I don't want to feel like a failure. My fiancé is not quitting with me in an attempt to be there to support me as generally I don't function whilst quitting (yes I am still in my pjs and it's 4.30pm) he is moving onto the e cigarette and is going to start on strong and reduce the nicotine level gradually week by week and quit after me when I will be in a fit smoke free state to support him. This is the plan whether it will work I don't know. I've download two apps on my phone one which has lots of facts and motivational tit bits to read the other with a programme and log giving achievements where deserved and a craving button to help you stave off. I don' work so I can do whatever my body feels best -busy with housework, watch mindless films, sleep, eat anything.

I want to tell myself that this time will be different because I have the motivation to do it a good reason bigger than myself as we have decided to try for a baby once we're smoke free but still I feel the argument at the back of my head saying it is better to cut down this week and make a full quitting plan and I don't know if that is sense talking or giving in as I haven't smoke yet today (whilst it's 4.30pm I've only been awake for 4 hours) I just can't decide.

I know I'm probably not making a great deal of sense and I don't expect anyone to read all of my pointless ramblings let alone reply but it makes me feel a little better during this weak point to write. I guess that's what I'd like it to have someone to talk to when I'm feeling weak. I would call the quite smoking help line but I live in France now. I would go to a pharmacy and ask for help but my French isn't very good hence not calling the French support lines. I'm away from all my friends, everyone I know here smokes. My family want me to quite but they don't understand why I smoke or what it feels like to try and quit. But I figured maybe someone on here would understand where I'm coming from.

Thanks if you've read this I hope you're having a nice day and if you're quitting good luck :)


5 Replies

  • Bonjour Bexy

    You sound very determined and thoughtful... And planning a baby must be one of the best motivators you can have.

    I haven't tried going cold turkey..but there's lots of information on this forum and on the Internet about how you will feel over the next few days.

    Read all you can, so you're prepared, but don't be put off won't be as bad as you think

    Drink lots of fresh fruit juice in the first 3 days (rids body of nicotine apparently), keep busy, and let us know how you're getting on.

    Posting here REALLY helped me.

    And just keep saying to yourself "I will not smoke today". Take it day by day, hour by hour...whatever is necessary to keep you going.

    LOADS of luck...I think you'll be fine.


  • Bonjour et bien venue

    Good advice from Lizzie. I have found this site more useful than I could ever have imagined. I only use PC for work and occasional web browsing, I don't have a facebook page or twitter acct and I have never posted to any sort of forum before, but I honestly don't think I would have got this far without the people on here.

    Stopping will help you conceive your baby and help your pregnancy too, not to mention improve your baby's life once it's out in the fresh air with you.

    I have 2 kids, both teenagers now, I feel so bad that they have seen me smoking all their lives, it is a terrible example to set. My eldest (19) has now started smoking and I really blame myself. When we're young we all think we're indestructible, trust me we are not.

    Stick with it and good luck


  • Thanks

    Wow I really wasn't expecting any replies especially not that quickly so thank you very much.

    After posting on here I finally managed to do something today other than sit in front of the computer :) I don't normally spend a lot of time on the pc but I was trying to plan out all the things that will help my quit, even though I do it every time I find it helps get me going :) Until I actually posted on here though I guess I was sitting here kinda feeling like if I get up I might give in where as here is kinda a safe spot :) But now I have washed the dishes so I can say I've done something at least when Ben returns soon :)

    I plan to drink lots of water, fresh juice and herbal tea over the next few days. I also find sucking sweets like cherry drops can help. Washing your hands very slowly, deliberately and thoroughly also helps me when I get one of those moments. However lately I find I normally give in on the first or second day, normally it was within the first week. The only time I have gone longer than a week was when I quit for over a month and then foolishly told myself that I could smoke when drinking again like at the beginning. It can't be done, not for me anyway, once a smoker never a casual smoker again.

    Ben has a niece who is 5 years old and another at 5 months. When I first moved to France his family thought I was strange because I would go outside to smoke and if Lisa ( the 5 year old would come near me) I'd tell her I would hug her in 5 minutes. They all smoked all over her and when I heard her sleeping at night she would cough and wheeze in her sleep and I hated it and the fact no one saw it as wrong. I'm glad to say that over time they have started to smoke away from her and when at the grandparents they do smoke outside.

    I don't want that life for my children, it's not like you can actually say that there is a positive side to smoking just with many draw backs. Smoking is just bad, so why did I do it? and why do I want to so much? I don't know if I'm cut out for cold turkey but cutting down doesn't seem to work either.

    Thanks again


  • Hi Bexy - and welcome!

    You sound as though you're putting a lot of thought into your quit - which is exactly what I did, and it really, really helped. I read and read and then read some more (this site is packed with information - I think I went through every single thread on the tips section!), made notes, printed out mantras to stick around the house to remind me of my reasons for quitting, and did everything I could think of which would make life as easy as possible for the first week. This approach isn't for everyone, of course - but as my quit date approached I found that the fear/anxiety about giving up was tempered with a touch of excitement as well. Being well prepared gave me a head start, and so far (I'm on Day 10 now) so good. I'm not sure I'd have managed without this forum though - which offers tons of support. It is enormously helpful to be in almost instant contact with others who know just how you feel and who are going through it with you. Keep posting! And good luck!


    ps GTAT will enjoy the opportunity to practise his French!

  • Trying to quit in France is very brave, well done you!!! Last time I was there, the French loved their smokes.

    I'm also giving up cold turkey and I have to say if you can get through the first 4 days (some say 3 but I found the fourth day was bad) then it's all pyshcological from there on in. To be honest if you don't smoke in those first three days then why should you after??? anyways good luck with your quit and well done for stopping.

    I found reading Allen Carr extremely helpful when quitting cold turkey, he really turns smoking on it's head and gives you no reason to smoke whatsoever.

    Lisa x

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