Baaaaaad day. I know we all have to cope with the unexpected twists and turns of life, and there's no 'ideal' time to quit, but ....
Darling daughter (18 - gorgeous, but who can also be difficult, volatile, selfish at times and oh-so-hard to live with) moved out in August, since when life at home has been oh so relatively calm and peaceful.
I always knew quitting would require mental focus and stamina, and knew with even more certainty that I could never have achieved it whilst she was here at home.
She has broken up with her boyfriend today - day 5 of my quit - and returned home. She is in pieces, and is likely to need a lot of support, and I feel I've been transported straight back to the way things used to be when she was here - and I don't like it! My way of coping was ALWAYS smoking. I love her dearly of course and want to help, but not at the expense of my quit.
Sorry to ramble, nobody can help me with the (single) mother/daughter problems, but I do need people to support me in my quit!
Sue
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Maybe a good way to view this is "if I can get through this, then I can get through anything". I have read posts on here from people who have experienced many things, including bereavements and got through, it made them stronger.
Of course you need people to support you in your quit, we all do and we are all here for you, so don't worry about that Your 18 year old daughter is going through all the normal teenage things, and will continue to do so until she comes out on the other side, we have all been there and know what it's like. But hang on to your quit, after all, smoking will not help your daughters problems and will not help you either. And she will get over the broken romance soon enough, how many did I go through at that age lol:rolleyes: So now you should give yourself some 'me' time, your quit is important to you or you wouldn't be trying. So well done you. And if you stay with your quit, you will be so much stronger in a very short time, and therefore able to give your daughter the support she needs. So keep going, the newfound energy you will feel within the next few weeks is so amazing, I wish I had quit years ago, I truly do. But I am doing it now, and so can you so go for it You will soon be feeling very strong indeed, and your daughter will notice and respect you loads for it.
It isn't about words, it's about feeling in our hearts that we want this quit, mainly for ourselves, but also for our loved ones who care for us and will be proud of us when we succeed. And for our fellow quitters, we understand how hard this is and what we are going through, and only we understand each other But the point is we DO understand each other. And we know how big an achievement even ONE day without a cigarette is LOL I haven't forgotten the times when even 1 hour without a cigarette was too difficult for me. But together, with each other, we can actually quit this horrible addiction, and come through and start feeling the benefits within a few short weeks.
I am about to go off and eat a sausage baguette, and there is nothing eloquent about that as I am getting fat, fat, fat, and then some LOL But I am seriously starting to think about healthy eating now, as I am fed up with junk food. So, red kidney beans and lentils is what I say (but still the occasional sausage of course as we need our treats)!!
Huge thanks folks - I am definitely back to taking life an hour at a time, but am coping so far. Just dealing with a Very Broken Heart..... But I'm all the better for all your words of wisdom and support - big thanks Zoe, GTAT and quit buddy Karri.
Karri - you were worried about a funeral this week - just wondering how it went? Let us know - stress is THE worst factor for me x
All credit for staying with your quit in testing times, teenagers are a nightmare to live with at the best of times let alone factoring a breakup into the equation. You sound like a great mum, but zoe's right, take this time for you and your quit as well as your daughter.
Karri - will be thinking of you tomorrow - just take it a minute at a time. You can do it - and we can celebrate Week 1 together at the weekend.
Ah thanks Lisa - can't believe what a difference it makes just being able to rant a bit on here and know that people understand ...
GTAT full of wise words! Any suggestions about how best to heal a truly broken heart appreciated. Think Nigella has a recipe for a chocolate cake which "serves 12. Or 1 with a broken heart". I'd better get baking ...
Thank God I'm on NRT to take the roughest of edges off things. Not sure I'd have coped otherwise. Feels like a bit of a backward step in a way as today is the first day I really felt I NEEDED a mini lozenge thing. But I keep remembering the important thing is just NOT TO TAKE ONE PUFF EVER.
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Your 18 year old daughter is going through all the normal teenage things, and will continue to do so until she comes out on the other side, we have all been there and know what it's like. But hang on to your quit, after all, smoking will not help your daughters problems and will not help you either. And she will get over the broken romance soon enough, how many did I go through at that age lol:rolleyes: So now you should give yourself some 'me' time, your quit is important to you or you wouldn't be trying. So well done you. And if you stay with your quit, you will be so much stronger in a very short time, and therefore able to give your daughter the support she needs. So keep going, the newfound energy you will feel within the next few weeks is so amazing, I wish I had quit years ago, I truly do. But I am doing it now, and so can you
so go for it
You will soon be feeling very strong indeed, and your daughter will notice and respect you loads for it.
But I am seriously starting to think about healthy eating now, as I am fed up with junk food. So, red kidney beans and lentils is what I say (but still the occasional sausage of course as we need our treats)!!
