I can lose my temper

Ooh had a funny morning, nothing major wrong, just petty irritations. Went to see my doc first thing, said he was well impressed about how I am doing - so far so good. Then went to chemist to get my prescription and was told I would have to wait an hour. So spent an hour walking about in the wind and rain (not worth going home and out again) and meanwhile it seemed like EVERYONE was smoking - I mean I past a whole PARTY of people smoking outside the bingo hall and who wants to play bloody bingo at 11am:eek: And the smell was ghastly, could feel myself going unconscious lol!! And they all looked so weird!!

Eventually got my prescription, checked it and found that 3 of the tablets I really need were missing sigh:rolleyes: So I went back and found that the pharmacy technician had dropped them on the floor! Great! By now I was pretty tired, cold and wet. Walked home and couldn't get my key to open the door. That was it and I lost the plot. Got into my flat eventually, and suddenly realised, (when I eventually stopped swearing:mad:) that throughout this alleged trauma I had not even thought about smoking. So different from the previous me lol!! Not sure that I should give myself credit for losing my temper, but see what I mean? Losing my temper has been what has led me back to smoking in the past, and it was something I was scared of this time. Hope it is a trigger past anyway. Also felt a bit depressed this morning, then I thought 'Isn't it great to feel depressed and not feel like a smoke', so presumably I wasn't depressed either! Not sure where my head is at the mo but at least I am smoke-free! Sorry for rambling. Have a great evening everyone.


7 Replies

  • Major breakthrough Zoe - well done!!!!

    I was almost glad to hear that you have had a crappy day! Not that I want you to be unhappy, but it is so reassuring that you can deal with what life throws at you without resorting to smoking! Having proved this though, I really hope you have a nicer one tomorrow to make up for it....;)

    You are getting stronger and stronger:D

  • Thanks Mrs T:D

    Its nice to know my temper is not a threat at the moment! But what about all those smelly smokers:eek: Might have to become a recluse for a time. Can smell it at 100 yards, am so ashamed I smelt like that for all those years too:o


  • Hey Zoe

    Well done, I cant believe it's the same you LOL, sounds to me like your mind is set and you are positive, again VVWD

    Stay Strong

  • Hi Zoe,

    Gosh what a day you've had hun!

    I tell you, everywhere I go I see smokers, why did no one smoke when we did and now they are everywhere! I always used to look for other smokers to stand by and there were never any, now it's every other person! Still, I use it as a reminder of why I don't want to stand with them anymore, I would never have believed how bad it smells, or how awful it looks.

    Glad you felt in charge despite a difficult day, it's good to overcome these obstacles and know you can win in any situation. You are doing so well and I'm really proud of you. Today has been a reminder for me of how hard this journey this, and it's so good to read the positives, it keeps me going.

    Keep up the good work, we are getting ever closer to that 1 month milestone!

    Pip x

  • Zoe, you're a superstar!!

    I remember reading your rants about the champix not working.. Just think, that was only the other week! You go girl!

  • Thanks Gary, Pip and Barney:D

    Pip you're right, when we smoked there wasn't a smoker in sight and now they are crawling out of the woodwork, lol have they been beamed down from Mars just to annoy ME grrr (paranoia setting in)!!

    Barney I have re-read some of my old ranting posts and I can laugh at myself now - what a drama queen:rolleyes:

    Slightly funny day today though, felt a bit like smoking earlier and I could taste ash, and convinced myself that I was smoking yesterday when I know jolly well I didn't. Weird:confused:

    Oh and I'm getting four spots it never rains but it pours lol!!


  • Its so funny because I popped to the sandwich shop during my lunch today and it is like I have eyes of a hawk, I mean I could see people smoking in their cars, outside their work place, on building sites, they were everywhere.

    I still didn't feel like smoking though, its a great sign as I would usually smoke a couple of cigarettes during that short journey.

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