Rapidly losing my motivation

I'm really not so well at the moment, all I can think about is how I want to smoke, I know is an illusion of pleasure, but at the moment I'd settle for an illusion.

I've got enough nicotine going in, so it can't be withdrawal, but I can feel myself sliding into a depression again. It's like my mind has given me an ultimatum: relaspes into smoking, or relaspe into another major episode. I'm also starting to have dark thoughts, and losing interest in everything around me.

All this isn't helped by the fact I've felt no benefit since quitting. I never had a smoker's cough to get rid of, my sinuses are still bad, I don't have any more energy, the only change in taste and smell I've found is that I seem to like less things. I can't seem to stop eating.

I just feel like 'what's the point anymore?', in quitting and in life in general.

Could really do with some encouragement or sympathy or something.

15 Replies

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  • calamityjen

    I been going through this and its horrible. But you know you don't want to

    smoke!!! ..otherwise you wouldn't be here, which is positive.

    The nicotine monster shows in lots of different ways, and this is a horrible one.

    He will make you question yourself if its reall what I want ? is it really worth going through it ? and it wasn't that bad when I smoked after all....

    I mentioned on the other thread, its like being kidnapped and you just want it to stop ! And MrsT posted, never pay the ransom, it will only encourage more kidnapping.

    You done so well , don't give in. It might just be a day ( like I had) you can get through this. You are strong and you know what you want !

    There is a thing for addicts H.A.L.T...meaning are you hungry, angry , lonely or tired. I was defenatly angry ...and always tired.

    YOU will get through this and I promise you , you feel amazing when you did.

  • have you tried a little gentle exercise when you are feeling blue? it has been working for me for the last couple of months. i need it most in the mornings as i think that is when i used to rely on cigs the most to 'get me going'. nowadays i do a little gentle yoga in the mornings if i can't motivate myself, you have to believe in it cos its not as strong as a cig but it really does take the edge off the blues.

    if you want a full on cig replacement boost then you need to try a jog around the block, or a fast walk, whatever makes you breathless.

    YouTube has some great videos to motivate you into yoga :)

    ok there was some encouragement, i'm not good at sympathy, now get down and give me ten pressups!

  • Calamity,

    keep going, I didnt really have a smokers cough or anything either, but I definitely smell better now even if I can see the other benefits immeadiately. You have done the hard bit, I agree with dorset and the H.A.L.T. Keep occupied and embrace the feelings you are having in a positive way, means you are winning the war. :-)

    Paul

  • I guess I'm just at a loss as to what to do. In the past, I smoked as a way of controlling myself when I flipped out, as a way of stopping myself from doing other harmful things. Now I feel I don't have that space.

    5mol<er, I would love to go for a brisk walk right now, but it's freshers' week, so the pavements are jam packed.

    And I wish I could keep my mind occupied. I'm at work, and seems to be either tasks that require no thought, or tasks that I'm finding too hard to concentrate on.

    I just wish I was home, so I could go to bed :(

  • All this isn't helped by the fact I've felt no benefit since quitting. I never had a smoker's cough to get rid of, my sinuses are still bad, I don't have any more energy, the only change in taste and smell I've found is that I seem to like less things. I can't seem to stop eating.

    I just feel like 'what's the point anymore?', in quitting and in life in general.

    Hi Jen

    I can really sympathise with your frustration about not feeling any benefits yet - I still feel cheated about this after eight weeks! BUT - we know that they will come eventually, and we know that while we are not smoking, we are not doing any further damage.

    You have successfully negotiated your first three weeks of being an ex-smoker - that's an amazing achievement. I know that you haven't always found this easy, but tell yourself that if nothing else, it is preferable to carry on with your quit than to have to face starting from day one at a later point.

    It really sounds to me as if this is the right time for you to make some demands on our fine National Health Service. They should be able to help you to both maintain your quit and to deal with feeling so low.

    And keep posting on here - let us know how you are getting on.

  • Feel a little better now. These moods are something that I generally have - everytime I start to think 'yay, I'm not depressed anymore', it comes back. A bit like quitting smoking I guess.

    I think the nicodemon is definitely here- he's being fed a healthy diet, and plenty of it (NRT), but he wants the junk food, and now he's joined forces with the depression :eek:

    Thanks for all your help and support, I think it does just help to write it all down and know someone is listening :)

    Mrs T, I've got an appointment with the smoking cessation nurse next week, hopefully she'll be able to give me some advice. I've been on anti-depressants for around 6/7 years now, I think I'm what they call 'chronic'. I've also heard that the particular medication I'm on is amplified by nicotine, don't know is that is having any bearing.

    So confusing...

  • Another wave surfed!! Well done.

    I have come to believe that every time I overcome a shaky point, it makes me stronger. In truth, they are not even craves anymore. Not in the sense that I really want a ciggarette the way I did in my first couple of weeks. Now it is more an attack of the "fxxx it factor" - where I feel fed up, rebellious or whatever, and lose sight of why I have given up in the first place.

    Glad that you are a bit better.

  • ((( hugs ))) Jen :)

  • Well done Jen,

    It must be so hard to keep going but you are :)

    Giving you loads of support and hugs

    Lingy xx

  • Well done on getting through the wobble unscathed, Jen! It proves how strong you can be! :D

    I'm not medically trained, but from what I understand, quite a few different medications can need an altered dose when you stop smoking and your metabolism changes, so it probably is worth having a chat with a Doctor if you can.

  • Jen, I hope you're ok today. I really feel for you. I've suffered with depression too and the dread of a bad spell is terrifying. Do talk with your nurse and maybe your GP too, perhaps a slightly higher dose of anti-depressant or a different one might help you through your quit. They will guide and advise you.

    You're very courageous to take this on and have done so well, you should be very proud of yourself. Big big hugs and encouragement from us all. :):):)

  • Thanks everyone for all of your support, I couldn't have got through yesterday without you.

    I'm happy to have gotten over one of my fears - that I wouldn't be able to come out of a down mood without a cig.

    I did try speaking to the doctor about my medication and any interactions, but she just told me to see the smoking cessation nurse! :rolleyes: To be fair, I didn't word it very well, but she didn't give me a chance to say any more.

    Anyway, on day 21 today, 3 weeks in the bag at midnight tonight :D

  • Ah great stuff, you're over one more (really important) hurdle. Always here if you need a chat, without judgement. PM if you want.

    EXXX

  • well done jen you have come this far ...... i too felt cheated never had a cough and now 12 months on i feel ok . but its great that we dont smoke anymore and can feel smug about that keep going :)

  • Way to go jen....I know i'm proud of you for getting over it. Everyday is a struggle, but i think you cant look forward, jsut look at now and what you can control. You controlled it. And you will do it again. You will have a craving again, but dont worry about them....when they come control it in the now.

    If i had a craving in the past, one of the 100 times i tried to quit...i would have a shower....could never figure out a good way to smoke in there...LMAO

    Congrats jen on one more day

    samartel

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