What have I done?

Hi all

I have given in!! 7 months and I have given up giving up!!! I have now smoked 3 ciggies aday for a week :-(. I just got so fed up bring miserable I just gave in, and I'm sorry to say enjoyed every minute of it. I feel lime I have let myself and everybody down, but I do feel happier!! The constant want had gone, the smell is back :-(.

Thought I could do this but obviously not!!

Sorry everybody x

16 Replies

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  • sorry u have lost your quit

    how much did you smoke before u quit ?

    cause if u are only smoking three a day is that not saying you dont really want to go back to how you were and the quitting thing is still stronger in your mind than you think

    not that i want you to smoke more

  • Prob 15-20 a day??? Since I started my quit I have compensated ciggies for alcohol:-), don't know which is worse?! Don't know if I was ever a non smoker during my quit or was a smoker just not smoking for a while? Then there is the weight gain :-( I only have to look at food now and I put weight on, even 3 trips a week to the gym couldn't stop it!! Do u think I can keep it to 3 aday or will i eventually be smoking what I used to and trying to justify it??? Why why why!!! Don't think the jobs at risk letter I received helped!! Think it was the final nail in the coffin so to speak x

  • Miles, is this your first quit? After 7 months, you should have been long past the physical cravings. I know the psychological can be almost as strong, but you just have to fight through those false memories one at a time. It really does get easier and easier.

    You will never continue 3 a day, you will be back to your previous level and maybe more before long. I know not everyone here is a fan of Alan Carr, but he does explain quite well how "cutting down" is the worst possible thing you can do. You're basically torturing yourself.

    I don't mean to sound scolding or anything, but I can only suggest you educate (or re-educate yourself), pick a new date and try again.

    It's not easy, but it's not as hard as you think either.

  • you definately wont stay on three a day if it was a controllable habit none of us would be on this forum

    we all gain weight because our bodies arnt restricted by poison anymore and metabolism changes but that is all fixable [eventually]

    your reasons are that of a smokers mind, justification

    7 months is a long time cant u put behind u that want that built up and was relieved and just say it was a big blip

    do u honestly feel well, does your chest not feel tight has your cough not returned u cant honestly honestly say u feel as fit as a fiddle

  • have u read the allen carr book maybe it would put your final little demons that were niggling u to bed and u will be ok

    afterall the book is less than the price of 20 fags

  • how are you feeling today

  • Hi Miles - what a shame. But I would say it's not too late to recover from this. I agree with the others - there is zero chance of staying at three a day for very long. Every quit I have tried in the past has started with these sorts of "deals" - either less than five a day, or only on alternate days, or only when I go out in the evening.... It never, never lasts. In no time at all, I have gone back up, and it has then always taken at least a few years until I try again.

    No one is going to tell you what to do, but think it over, because it would be easier to do it now rather than later. Good luck.

  • Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom. I know that you are all right!! I have ordered Alan carrs book, should be with me tomorrow :0). The last 7 months have been so hard I can't believe I have gone back to smoking really thought I had cracked it a month ago but obviously not!!! This is my first quit, hopefully I will get back on track once I have read "the book". This sure is one big blip!! Just wish I didn't feel so at home and back to normal. This probably isn't making much sense. Just confused as to why why why???? Thank you all again :0( xx

  • well done on giving it abit more time ordering and reading the book

    you could have just gone back to your smoking life and not tried again for a long time but you are putting up a fight and this is a good sign proves you dont want to lose this quit

    this quit is my first quit also for me it was now or never i am not the sort of person that can yoyo backwards and forwads in and out of a quits

    i used patches inhalator and read the alan carr book two weeks into my quit that altogther and also knowing i never wanted to do those early days again has kept me going

    it has took me a long time to let go of the old me but each day has got a little easier i still get bad times but they are less

    i still on a daily basis [a few times a day] think about smoking but not in a wanting kind of way more in a ' wow i havent thought of smoking yet today' or 'i used to smoke in a situation like this' or i used to smoke went i went here'

    just things like that but i am more easily distarcted away from these thoughts now

    read the book it makes alot of sense and even if parts of it seem repetative still read it thats wat your brain need so it can reprogramme

    really hope it all works out for you

  • Thank you so much boo for your positive thoughts. Let's hope the book can save me!! Will keep you posted! O yes, well done by the way for your own quit!! Wish I could have been as strong as you! Xx

  • Hey Miles,

    I'm so sorry you lost such a long quit. :(

    You know, you should speak to Smol<er, who posts on here fairly regularly. She lost a six month quit because, like you, she missed it the whole time, found it all a continual struggle, and eventually one day it all got too much. But she's quit again, and this time her head is in a completely different place. She's managed to rethink all the smoking myths, and this time round just doesn't see smoking as this great loss, and she's having a massively easier time of it.

    I really sympathise, there were many times when i could have lost my own quit, and it's possible that if I did cave at this point I would feel I 'enjoyed' smoking again. But the bald truth is, these things are poison. We both know that there's too high a price to pay for any pleasure they might give you.

    I really hope you find a new quit in you soon. Best of luck.

    H x

  • Hey miles,

    You said you gave in because you were feeling miserable all the time - I wonder if it was just a general feeling you were having and your programmed brain thought that cigarettes were the solution? I think the relief/pleasure feeling is easily confused.

    Also, I think you need to ask yourself deep down whether you really did enjoy those cigarettes, or whether you just thought you did, because that's what you associate with smoking.

    Good luck and I hope you get back onto your quit. Just don't feel you've ruined all your hard work - it's all a learning curve I think.

    Jen

  • Hi all. Can't thank you all enough! I am still smoking, still waiting for the book, do you think it's too late for me now? Am I going to have to go through all of that again !! I don't think I could bear it. What have j done? I am enjoying the ciggie but not the smelly hair, loss of breath, feeling a complete failure!!! I feel just as bad as when I wanted one!!! I never quit at anything I cant believe I have given in!! :-( xx

  • It is never too late Miles

    You have had a blip and we all have those. I know that you feel you have let yourself down but beating yourself up about it is not going to help you. You have to focus that disappointment and anger into determination to beat this.

    Think back to how hard you have worked over the last 7 months.

    I know you can do it

    Lingy

  • Hi all. Can't thank you all enough! I am still smoking, still waiting for the book, do you think it's too late for me now? Am I going to have to go through all of that again !! I don't think I could bear it. What have j done? I am enjoying the ciggie but not the smelly hair, loss of breath, feeling a complete failure!!! I feel just as bad as when I wanted one!!! I never quit at anything I cant believe I have given in!! :-( xx

    Umm, so what is it you are enjoying exactly?! Sounds more like remorse to me. It's never too late, Miles. Yes, there may be an element of "going through all of that again" - you have reignited your addiction. But take it from me, the longer you leave it, the harder it will get.

    My advice? Get back on that horse. JFDI. And read some of the recent Tough Love posts on here!

  • Thank you all again for taking the time out when you all still have your own struggles. Started reading the book so we will see what happens? Maybe um just not strong enough to do this?? I keep making excuses for myself? Thi k this is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. When I got to the 7 month stage I really thought I had cracked it, how wrong I was. The only thing I enjoy is the fact I'm starting to lose the weight that I gained and the fact I'm not constantly wanting a ciggie?? Need to find the enthusiasm to start all over again! X

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