I've been struggling today.
I was fine until I was waiting for the bus to go to work and I think it just sunk in that my grandfather is gone. I've been a bit preoccupied with how the rest of my family is feeling (I haven't been able to see them yet because of work etc..) that I feel a bit selfish about my own sadness. Just had this unbelievably strong urge to smoke a cigarette or 20.
Didn't pass when I got to work. I've only told my boss (and even then that's only because I needed to give him a reason for wanting time off for the funeral) and he's been very supportive but I just feel like an idiot for being sad about it which makes me even surlier and then want to just escape and go for a fag. People have been commenting on how I've been so quiet and asking "what's up" and while I'm quite happy to let them think it's just the lack of cigarettes, I really feel like a complete douche. We got a new team member in last week and they've been bitching about what a moody arsehole I am. Can't blame her but I'm still a bit upset... cue cig craving.
I haven't had one, and I don't see myself giving in but I just wish I hadn't chosen that week to start my quit. I really am missing the sense of reassurance I get from having a smoke, and as of yet haven't been able to find something else that does the job.
On top of that, my knees are sore and swollen so that's any real exercise out the window. I'm gutted at that because working out until I can't physically move really does help.
I hope it gets easier.
Has this sort of thing happened to anyone else during a quit?