Didn't realise i was half way through the third month already. YAY!!!
Well just an update on how it's all been going.
I am obviously over the worst now. I can function on a day to day basis like a normal person and go for hours not giving the silly sticks a thought but i do still have times when i think having a cigarette would make this situation (park, bbq, sitting in the garden at dusk) perfect, but then i think...why? What difference would it make woman, pull yourself together. And i do.
I feel extremely proud of what i have acheived. This really is a case of 'if i can do this anyone can'. I honestly never actually thought i'd be able to quit for good. I thought i'd be one of those people that quit for 12 days then smoke for 2 days, quit for 4 days, smoke for 6 etc etc...
I'm so thankful for this forum and that single most serious point that i have found so very useful
'Just one CAN hurt'
I have found myself thinking that question often during my long and painful suffering 'If i just have one that will be fine'. Thats when i have been coming back on here and reading all the different posts, especially from Trev.
I know now i never want to be a smoker again. Never want to feel that pull, that need, to know when i can next have a puff.
My partners family are all non-smokers and i hated going around their house because i always had to and do battle with 3 German Shepherds and a Jack Russell to get out the back door without them. It just made it all embarrassing that i couldnt just sit and chat for an hour without needing (wanting) a cigarette.
I am still trying to get used to the idea that my breath doesn't stink. I can talk face to face with people and they wont recoil. I can open the front door to delivery people and not worry that they get a face full of stale smoke. I have a major obsession with febreeze, fabric conditioner and open windows. Not being able to open the windows in this rain. I feel all cooped up
I have also been sitting in the garden at midnight looking at the stars. I never did that when i smoked so i am either 'getting back to nature' or i am going completely barmy too.