want to smoke but know i cant

Feeling really crap tonight ,

well since tea time, i am snappy ,moody, a right -itch !!. hateful ,depressed, all these emotions in one.i just keep having thoughts like just have one is it worth going through all this shit, yet i know smoking will not make me feel better, i dont want to smell,cough,not breathe properly,waste money......the list goes on and on.

i feel like im on this journey alone and i am lost at the cross roads . hope this makes sense to someone.

everytime my husband comes near me he stinks of cigs and it makes me feel sick and i feel bad as i am pushing him away. but i think he knows what to expect with it not being my first quit. i am sure he is thinking she will give up soon. ( but i wont, i can not fail, ) so i will come on here and just moan and type untill its of my chest. so please excuse me !!!.

hot choc needed .

I really hate what this drug has done to me and how long it has controlled me and taken from me.

ali x :(

5 Replies

  • Hi Abi,

    I know those feelings well. You can get over them. Take yourself off & do something you like & enjoy. Bath, pampering session, reading, music, whatever does it for you & gives you some time out. Smelly hubby ?? I know what that's like too. I just held my breath had a kiss then enjoyed a cuddle with my face turned away a bit lol. After the initial ewwww it's ok!! Just think we smelt like that (well I still do).

    If you give in you will be back where I am. Looking for the strength for yet another quit & going through it all again. You don't want to do that beleive me ;)

    Be strong, be brave. Acknowledge what smoking has done with you but use that knowledge to your benefit. Don't dwell on what you can't change just learn from it. Today is today. No past, no future, just get through today, ok?

    Gaynor xx

  • Just remember you are NOT on this journey alone!!!

  • Well done Ali.

    The fact you came on here to rant rather than hot footing it to the shops for a packet of cigs says it all - YOU CAN do it. We all can. It's really hard tho' and I had a major stumble too last week and was also thinking I'd just smoke the one or two - or ten! But then we'd be back to square one and have to start all over again OR go back to smoking all the time. I don't want that. My kids don't want that. My husband doesn't want that. My health doesn't want that and my bank account can't afford that!!! :eek:

    Keep up the good. It's not going to be easy all the time but life really isn't any easier when you smoke either! But, hey it's taken me 30 years to realise that!! Derrrr!:)

  • ...It's not going to be easy all the time but life really isn't any easier when you smoke either!

    Hallelujah Julie.

    Sure we make the association but the dreadful truth is that nothing improves with a smoke. We just imagine it does.

    What's worth remembering is that horrid nasty smoking experience we had with our very first cigarette has not changed with the thousands that we consumed.

    We just learnt to tolerate the smoke passing through our bodies. :)

  • I hope today has been a better day for you. Keep going, I felt much of how you do during week 2 but it got better :D

You may also like...