Just joined

I have stopped several times in the past, what done it this time was my 2 yr old boy put a drinking straw to his mouth and mimicked smoking, that f'd me up for several days, i finally decidedd no f'n way was he gonna see me smoking again. I decided not to join ths forum but to wait until i had passed my record for abstinence in the past of about 2 weeks.

I convinced my partner to quit a weeek after my self in return i would book a holiday to egypt, whayt do you know this just happened to coincide with the time all the fighting was occuring there, anwyway, i dont want to start smokoing again but i can see her point whereas she fully intends starting again even buying 200 in the airporrt before we go.!!!

sorry if im rambling biut ive just had a big interview, waited 3 weeks for it, just to see if i still have a job. my next door neighbour just passed away unexpextadly ,,,,but at least i didnt buy some fags as tempting as it was for a few milliseconds.

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  • Welcome to the site Bri, and well done for resisting temptation!

    Thing is, life can be a steaming pile of crap sometimes. And when we quit we must be prepared for the fact that there are going to be tough times that we have to get through. Because if we're thinking we won't lose loved ones, or face illness, or relationship troubles or whatever... well, that ain't going to happen. Got to make the quit strong enough that you can weather all that life can throw at you, and not take another puff.

    Not easy. But it can be done, and there are people still posting on this site that are living proof of that. And it looks like you're sticking with it so far. Onwards and upwards!

    You have all the right reasons. And you're doing FANTASTIC!!! Stay strong, keep posting. It really helps to vent.

    All the best,

    Helen

  • probably not im a bit drunk, ill try to reiterate my original post, if not ill do better tomorrow, i stopped on 4 Jan 2011, my partner, who has never quit or even though about quitting stopped a week later, i basically said if you can go a month without, i will pay deposit on a holiday, I expected her to say ok, pay holiday, and then to start smoking but so far she has been ok and stopped...

  • I have tried every method going in the past to stop, the only way that has worked for me personaly is cold turkey, yes day 1 is nothing, day 2 is hell then it gets easier and easier from there. I used to have two tabs on the way to work, (its only 20 miles but rush hour traffic so can take over an hour) I drive about about ALL day, INITIALLY I USED TO LISTen to allen carrs cd versiuon of his book, now now i listen to music, i mean stuff ur not used to for me it was Queen music, i was brought up listening to this, now i can go all day without even thinking thinking BOUT FAGS. I still do occasionally want one especially when i have a drink, but would not think of cycling 3 miles (as previously when under influence) just to get a fix, I now despise everytime i have spent my last penny on fags i can never picture myself smoking gain, mainly for my son ( i cant have anymore children)..../ I sued to also feel ashamed about smokijng, not because it was a filthy habit blah blah blah but bacuse it has so much control over my life and so much control over all the plans i made over all of the simple things like going shopping, gong for a drink etc etc

  • anyway my point is, how can i convince my partner that she does not need fags to enjoy a holiday, she thinks we will get chatting to ppl who are bound to smoke, have a few drinks on an evenig and then take cigarrettes etc. Her plan is to buy 200 on the flight out, smoke them on the holidaY and then resume the quit.

    I have tried to say that this is pathetic and that she has obviously stopped for the wrong reasons. But she says as much as she doesnt want to smoke, she doensnt feela holiday could possbily be as enjoyable or relaxing wihthout cigs.

  • anyway my point is, how can i convince my partner that she does not need fags to enjoy a holiday, she thinks we will get chatting to ppl who are bound to smoke, have a few drinks on an evenig and then take cigarrettes etc. Her plan is to buy 200 on the flight out, smoke them on the holidaY and then resume the quit.

    I have tried to say that this is pathetic and that she has obviously stopped for the wrong reasons. But she says as much as she doesnt want to smoke, she doensnt feela holiday could possbily be as enjoyable or relaxing wihthout cigs.

    Awww :( It can be so frustrating when you understand it but someone close to you just doesn't get it. I've tried to get my Mum to understand how nictotine additiction works, why she smokes and how to break free but she just refuses to accept it - she's convinced that she enjoys smoking and does it because she wants to. She feels she'd be depriving herself of something wonderful if she was to stop.

    Maybe you could introduce your partner to this forum, and to some of the recommended quit sites (WhyQuit.com is a good place to start) and perhaps she'll start to see smoking for what it really is. In saying that - you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink :rolleyes: Maybe she'll love her smoke-free life so much and feel so much better that by the time you go away she won't want the cigarettes.

    Angie

    xxx

  • Hi bri,

    but bacuse it has so much control over my life and so much control over all the plans i made over all of the simple things like going shopping, gong for a drink etc etc

    That's exactly IT bri, it does have such a hold over your life. I have been known (in the past), to turn down going somewhere just because l knew l would not be able to smoke. How pathetic is that?:( Now l can go wherever l want to go, without giving it another thought.

    As Angie pointed out, by the time your holiday comes around, maybe she will not want to start again.:)

    Give her lots of praise and encouragement, and also point out, how much money you will be saving by both of you not smoking. ;)

    Josie XXX

  • christ i really need to hide my laptop next time i drink, how did i even manage to join let alone type anything, i got to work today and my boss said wtf was that email all about last night, I had literally sent her an email saying stuff like "khgkbksgn goijsdghskjfg dzghksdhkjg"

  • He doesn't want to make her feel bad... he just wants her to realise that it IS actually possible to enjoy a holiday without smoking.

    I still wonder how I've managed to enjoy holidays while not smoking (I think that just shows I probably need to re-read alan carr!).

    What I normally think is:

    If I go on holiday with smokers then I note their attitudes and habits that stops them from doing certain things because they're smoking (not wanting to go certain places etc.). I also watch them smoke and think about how much damage they're doing to themselves. Generally puts me off.

    If I go on holiday with non smokers then it's all easy - I don't even think of smoking :)

    Eitherway, I've managed to have fun going out/drinking/travelling with smokers after what felt like a long long time of practicing (it started to feel really effortless after about 3 months)... you can't expect your OH to not feel scared of a situation like that after just 3-4 weeks.

    She'll realised these things in her own time

  • anyway my point is, how can i convince my partner that she does not need fags to enjoy a holiday, she thinks we will get chatting to ppl who are bound to smoke, have a few drinks on an evenig and then take cigarrettes etc. Her plan is to buy 200 on the flight out, smoke them on the holidaY and then resume the quit.

    I have tried to say that this is pathetic and that she has obviously stopped for the wrong reasons. But she says as much as she doesnt want to smoke, she doensnt feela holiday could possbily be as enjoyable or relaxing wihthout cigs.

    Hi Bri and welcome!

    Could it be that your partner is just plain frightened that she's going to give in to fags on holiday? But instead of saying she worried about starting to smoke again, she's saying she will smoke? That's sort of how I would be!!

    I try and warn my O/H that I might do something I'm worried about by saying I WILL. Then if I don't I'm a hero!

    I have to admit to having avoided loads of things since I started my quit. Things that I'm concerned I'll find hard to deal with. Yes I will have to deal with them at some point but I want to make certain my head is in the right place before I do.

    Maybe she would find it helpful if you said that it would OK for her to smoke but for her to try not to just one day at a time (that's how my husband has learnt to deal with me!)

    BTW if you're still going to Egypt, fags are cheaper in the supermarkets than they are in the airport (not that you need to know that) but they also taste of camel dung so put her off buying duty free and if she does buy some and smokes she won't like them anyway! And boy will she cough (I lived over there a few years ago and have the lungs to prove it!)

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