man i feel bad

8 weeks today ive had my ups and my downs ,feeling realy low just now lost all motivation, had no work for 2 weeks starting to argue real bad with my partner of 14 years/ mother of my 2 kids .

she quit about 6 weeks b4 me we a both realy snappy now its starting to upset the kids cant believe i starting smoking that shit nicotine poison why i ask myself because all my family smoked and i lived on a council estate with everyone else who got moved out of hackney and east london .

my mum had a serious stroke 6 years ago (heavy smoker) and still smokes now what chance did i have as a kid not to take up smoking with everyone around me smoking mum dad brother sister.

life sucks at the minute

sorry guys needed to get that off my chest


9 Replies

  • didn't want to read and run but don't really know if I can say anything to help.

    It does get better and easier. I suppose whilst quitting with your OH has benefits of supporting each other it must also have its pitfalls of both having the raging hump sometimes.

    Hang in there, have a good read and remind yourself why you are doing this.

    If you need to come and vent, chat, just have a read then do it, whatever it takes.

    Stay strong

    Sian x

  • You have completed eight weeks, that is a terrific amount, be pleased with yourself.

    You did right to come on here and get rid of what was getting you down, you will get replies and others will benefit from reading your post as they may be going through similar stuff. Have a look in the symptoms website in my signature, understanding what we feel while stopping could help both of you to see why you are acting and felling the way you are.

    It will get better I promise you, but try to keep busy or read, don't keep giving it too much thought, be very proud of yourself. Lots of people felt down in the early days/weeks, there are some posts about it on here, if you use the search engine at the top you will find them. Some tried St John's Wart to help, check with your GP if you are on other medicines. If it doesn't work or the low feeling continues see you GP they can help, many of us did.

    Best wishes to you both.


  • didn't want to read and run

    I did :o....... but feel obliged now to respond too ;)

    All i can do is re-iterate what Levs has said AND look at your own signature..... "life is a gift and every day is a bonus"........smoking will reduce your bonus's dramatically.

    You've got the gift, don't abuse it by smoking, use your gift wisely as you only get this type of gift once!

  • Nic

    "what chance did i have as a kid not to take up smoking with everyone around me smoking mum dad brother sister."

    You have 2 children of your own now; do you want to give them a chance?? Do you want them to see you as a smoker or a someone who defeated it and became a non-smoker??

    You have done 8 weeks Nic; don't chuck all the hard work you have put into this away.

    You have done a great thing, putting your fears and concerns on the board; keep on doing it; rant, rave, READ and get re-motivated.


  • Hi Nic

    Life is obviously s**t right now. But stick with it mate, you've got so damn far. Don't give in to a weed, a poison, a prop. It won't help you and it will cost you in time, money and effort.

    Yell, scream, eat, read and moan. But PLEASE don't smoke. It's people like you at 8 weeks that encourage people like me.

  • Thanks for the support guys dont no where i would be without this place to come and unload them bad thoughts

    life is a gift and i need to appreciate that and will

    tommorow is another day and it will be better than today

    i know i am trying to blame everything around me for feeling down its up to me to pick myself up and move on


  • my bonus day,s are not going to get reduced

    pete well said

  • I know where you are coming from, but smoking again would help how? You cant afford it, your kids will be exposed again, you will shorten your life, you could subject yourself to going through a horrible death and your kids will have to sit back and watch.

    I make no apologies for being so hard on you, I have been to a funeral today, a wonderful lady, who dies of cancer, she was a Marie Curie nurse who was 59!! And she was a smoker till 5 years ago.

  • It is hard Nic..and the fact that both of you are going through it with added money and family pressures - hardly surprising that you guys are snapping at each other. Sounds like a lot of pressure in your household right now.

    The only advice I can give is what I have had to learn to do myself and that is to talk to my hubby and make sure he knows how I feel. He then backs off a little bit - probably because he then understands what's going on with me.

    I'm not a relationship counsellor but I do know that I have had to learn to talk to my oh more in place of going out the back door and having a think/smoke.

    So - talk to her. Maybe sit down tonight or tomorrow with a bottle or something and share a bit of what's on each others minds?? I know this sounds like girly advice but I actually am not a sharer in the real world. I find it really hard to say how I feel and stuff and earlier in my quit it was coming out in emotional breakdowns or tantrums (that's the truth).

    We hide so much behind the smokescreen that we have to learn to live without it...and that's relevant in all aspects of our lives.

    Regarding how it's a pre-destined thing because of your roots, soc-ialisation, status and genetics?

    Maybe when we are young and impressionable, but there comes a point for each and every one of us where it becomes a choice. As soon as we become aware of an alternative to the current situation is when it becomes a choice to stay the same or change.

    You decided on change :) Don't go backwards from that now.

    I'm sorry, I'm not sure I've advised you very well :o but I didn't want to 'read and run' as others have said. I know how it feels to struggle with this, it's horrible and I hope you feel better soon.

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