Day 9

Hi all,

Not had much to say so haven't been about for a few days.

Doing ok but feel so down. I just don't feel like me anymore, I am not grumpy but my relationships with everyone seem so different. My husband smokes and as it is now starting to smell horrible (love fresh smoke smell) I can't stand him being near me. I feel so detached from everything and so so bored!!!!!

Other than that I am ok, my mouth ulcers don't seem so bad. I can already see/feel weight gain which is depressing me further.

I am not going to fail though and must keep on.

2 Replies

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  • You'll be ok - you've got the right mindset of "I'm not gonna fail though" and that's the main thing.

    Come on here and vent much as you need. Maybe get outside for some fresh air, might give you a bit of a mental "lift". But keep going :D

  • ...Doing ok but feel so down. I just don't feel like me anymore, I am not grumpy but my relationships with everyone seem so different. My husband smokes and as it is now starting to smell horrible (love fresh smoke smell) I can't stand him being near me. I feel so detached from everything and so so bored!!!!!

    It is quite a difficult time and I don’t think any of us find, or found, it easy.

    Once we’re freshly quit we seem to dig out those rose-tinted smoking goggles and view every thing we’ve ever done previously that was fun, memorable and exciting as somehow associated with smoking.

    Our brains shout for a fag and our memory lays out the wonderful smorgasbord of smoke tinted memories that demonstrate how good life was as a smoker.

    Like the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang the moment we succumb to the tobacco charms the dreams evaporate and we’re left holding a fag but still saddled with the tax bill, dead dog, screaming kids, broken car or whatever was piling on the pressure. Now of course there’s the added pressure of smoking again!

    It’s almost ‘no man’s land.’ Once we’ve entered that smoke free zone things change and only a clear mindset will keep us on the path. All the grief we feel comes through us being or having been a smoker and sometimes we just have to accept the tough stance that we can stop now or smoke until we die. It’s often that distinct.

    Personally the knowledge of what’s happening to my curing body and mind and what is making me feel the way I do, ie quite a technical and a-n-a-lytical approach to my quit, helped me to understand the odd things that I felt.

    It's always worth remembering that even though tough times leap out at you every now and again the real hard times are early on. If you can last a couple of days then you can make a week. A week under your belt and then a fortnight is easy. It doesn't get harder even though the odd day is a nightmare. Even the physical repair of the body causes side-effects that sometimes make us question the validity of quitting but they all pass and for the better.

    Once you've hit a month then complacency starts to be a potential issue. :)

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