feeling lonely today

[nsd_user663_20978]

am just feeling abit lonely today, no one is home that i can go visit am really good on the quitting, feeling good and the days of smoking seem so so long ago now still cant beleive the time restraints it put on me, feel as free as a bird now.

i just rang my work to make an appointment for tomorrow about arranging my return to work [on maternity leave], i know i keep wittering on about this but it really gets to me how quickly my maternity went. wen i walked out of there 9 months ago i was pregnant didnt know whether i was having a boy or a girl and thought YES i have nine months head of me and it seemed so far off. i have made the most of every waking moment of my time with the baby and kids and here i am due back in four weeks.

and with todays society i have no choice but to return to work, god damn government no wonder children go off the rails sometimes wen both parents have to be at work just to pay the bills, and now they are trying to get single parents back to work [ i am not single parent] but i think it is just awful to expect a single parent to return to work we find it hard enough in a two parent family juggling work and children

ok rant over feel better now i got it out

[nsd_user663_4625]

Hi boo, sending you a big hug.

I think it is so sad that with the economic climate as it is, and has been for some time, that both parents have to work to survive when they have had children. Gone are the days when it was a choice now it is a nessacity.

I was lucky in that mine where 5 and 4 before I had to go back to work to make ends meet but that was 24 years ago & things are much worse now.

I am sure all will be fine once you have settled into a routine. Are you having to work full time or part time?

Gaynor xx

[nsd_user663_20978]

i work part time thats why i feel so pathetic, but i just know how quickly they grow up my 19 year old is an adult now yet i can remember him laid in his hospital cot like it was yesterday, i love the busy household and kids and babies which is why i have 5

i could probably do with working more hours for financial reasons but money isnt everything i think time with the kids is more important

[nsd_user663_4625]

Crikey, don't feel pathetic. At least you will not be away so long. You are so right about them growing up so quickly. My two boys will be 29 & 28 this year & it still seems like yesterday, I think most parents feel like that. Just think of it as not ideal maybe (work) but getting the best of both worlds. A bit of money coming in but still time to spend with your family. (Not sure I am helping here lol)

Gaynor xx

[nsd_user663_20978]

yes u are helping and i know u are right that wen i get back into it i will be fine i am just having a rubbish day and its not because of quitting so thats good wen u think about it i can have a bad day thats not smoking related thats quite an acheivement really lol

[nsd_user663_4625]

I know what you mean. Good days, bad days, they happen whether you smoke or not. When you quit it is easy to blame EVERYTHING on quitting which is nonsense really :rolleyes: I hope you feel better as the day goes on & well done on your quit hun

Gaynor x

[nsd_user663_20978]

i have had days like this before since quitting i wake up set out in my mind wat i am gonna do for the day and providing it all goes to plan i am fine but should someone change that plan for watever reason, like today i woke up thought i will spend it with my sister so text her abit after i got up and she text back saying she has a busy day today and we will meet tomorrow. then that seems to throuw me real bad for the whole day mood wise.

have u ever had this do u think it is quitting related or depression related

i figure that smoking set out my time all day before that my mind is looking for a time scedule and should that be changed i panic abit cause i dont know how to deal with it yet cause i spent so many years setting my day by my next cigarette

or am i just going fruit loop lol

[nsd_user663_4625]

No, you are not turning into a fruit loop lol.

I know when my two where young my days revolved strongly around routines & lists of things 'to do'. It was the only way I could keep on top of everything. Looking back now maybe I was too rigid but that was how I got through my life. I have NO routines now & end up getting nothing done half the time:rolleyes:

Maybe you should have 2 plans for a day then if one fails you have a back up! I am guessing that you are feeling dissapointed to not be spending the day with her? Why not swap tomorrows original plans for today? The only cigarette I missed to be honest was the first one of the day & the one I lit as soon as I got out of work. May day was not punctuated by fags as much as I guess yours would be.

Did your GP prescribe anti-depressants in the end?

[nsd_user663_20978]

yes i got nice gentle ones that make u feel better after about two weeks i didnt want to be on anything to strong that zonks u out

am feeling better in the mental health department lol wat a mess a hormonal quitting smoking women wat a combination u gotta laugh

[nsd_user663_4625]

They don't help do they lol. Just remember you are doing so well on your quit & you should be very proud of yourself. Maybe focusing on how WELL you are doing might pep you up a bit xxx