Again and again and again and again and again...

[nsd_user663_5149]

Urgh, I can't believe I am back on Day 1 again...what on earth is wrong with me? The last few weeks I just dont seem to be able to get back on the wagon - I will go 3 or 4 days without smoking then I just seem to give in. I know all the reasons why I want to give up but its almost like I reward myself for a few days not smoking by having a cigarette! I am using patches and the inhalator, have written down all the reasons why I want to quit, have been exercising more but nothing seems to stop that dash to the shop. I don't know what to do anymore - I am so mad at myself for not beating this, and I feel so embarassed about having failed again that I don't want to tell anyone that I am trying again. Feeling really hopeless today

I smoked my last cigarette at 7.30 this morning, and all I can think about it buying more on my way home from work...

Help, please...

x

[nsd_user663_20558]

I think you're suffering from the Forever Fear. The minute you stub out your last fag, the smokeless future looms ahead of you, you can't imagine yourself coping, it seems an impossible task, and ALL you can think of is having a fag.

This is what happened to me, every time. In fact so much so that I couldn't even bring myself to say 'this is my last fag' sometimes!

cf my post of some weeks ago;

forum.nosmokingday.org.uk/s...

I can't exactly tell you how to fix this but I think you need to regroup - get to grips with your own feelings, understand why it is you keep failing. And you need to think about being smoke free in a genuinely positive way. Sometimes you can say 'I want to be healthier' or whatever, but it's all empty words - your addiction is doing the thinking for you, and it's telling you that fags are more appealing than having clean lungs, sweet breath and a fat purse. Time to give your inner junkie a good kicking!

Good luck!!