So I've made it to day 5! Yay!
Except I don't feel so yay, The whole physical side effects thing wasn't so bad, and I had a real determination on the first few days.
Last night I came home before hubby for the first time since I quit and I really struggled. This morning he's at work and I feel the same again!
Its like I can't get them out of my head. All I keep thinking is "oh fag time...oh no don't do that anymore" over and over and over.
I'm going out this afternoon, but I do often spend alot of time at home alone, and I really can't avoid it for long.
I started kniting to distract myself, but that just makes me think " when i finish this row I'll have a fag..."
I'm also starting to wonder if I really wanted to do this. I don't want to be a smoker, but I'm starting to wonmder if I want to be a non smoker either?
I know that if I had a fag now I'd just feel sick and hate it, and I also know it wouldn't solve my curiousness (lost to that one before), so I know there's no reason to and I don't even really want to, I just want this voice to go away. I just want to forget that I could????
Dunno if any of that makes any sense, but I do actually feel better for writing it, so I guess thats the point!
Just confused as to why its getting harder not easier, and now I'm off to spend the afternoon with my best friend who smokes and is very very rightous about it!
Haven't told him yet I quit... wish me luck!