I have been smoking for over 30 years but have only seriously considered giving up this year. I have always been adamant that I would continue to smoke regardless of the cost and genuinely enjoy a cigarette. No amount of shocking documentaries or adverts showing the affects of smoking has ever put me off and I have happily puffed away knowing what consequences my actions could have.
My mother died four years ago and her problems were clearly from smoking as one of the conditions she suffered with was COPD. It is only recently though that I have suddenly become scared of following in her footsteps and cutting my time with my family short. It scares me that I get out of breath so quickly and I think I may already have damaged my lungs to the point of no return. I won't see my GP about this as I think I would rather not know but will try and stop anything progressing quickly if my fears are right.
My first quit attempt started on Tuesday 1st February, 2011. I got through day 1 and 2 but panicked the second night. I used an electronic cigarette after doing lots of research on the internet and think I did more harm than good. I never had the thing out of my mouth for 2 days and think I overdosed my body with nicotine. Not a pleasant experience and it has put me off using the product again.
I know I want to try again despite smoking today but am not sure yet how I am going to do it. I looked for somewhere I could find support from others in the same boat and ended up here. I hope with people to turn to and some willpower I will be able to try again. I'm not sure how many times I will be trying again until I crack it but I think I'm half way there by just wanting too.
I have found today that having cigarettes in my bag did ease the craving a lot. I smoked because I wanted to and not for the sake of it. Maybe cutting down over a period of time will be the way forward for me - or maybe not.
Whatever happens it will be great to know I have this place to come to for help, support, tips and advice.