Today, I have officially not smoked for 1 whole month. My nurse told me that quitters who have managed a month are classed as successful. I thought that when I reached the golden month I would feel elated but I hate to say that I just feel kind of flat. Over Christmas I didn't wear a patch for four days - Christmas morning was so hectic that I simply forgot to apply one. I felt fantastic all day and didn't have a single craving so I got to thinking that I don't really need them anymore. BIG mistake! After a further three days of not wearing a patch, I crashed and had a total melt down. Constant crying and tantrums being thrown left, right and centre. I am now back to the patches but feel like I have let myself down in a big way I know I should be congratulating myself as I still haven't smoked but I just feel very sad. I think it has just hit me that I will never smoke again and I am grieving for my loss which is totally stupid. I am also scared now that when I have finished my full course of patches (another six weeks) the cravings and awful emotions will come back straight away.
Sorry for posting such a negative message but my fiance doesn't understand and I can't see my nurse until 4th Jan
On a more positive note, I hope everybody enjoys their New Years celebrations!