One year ago today I quit smoking for the last time, I would like to apologise to any members or guests on this forum if I have ever given them the impression that I have found this quit easy, it is totally not the impression I have intended to give, and it is definitely not the way it has been .
I now look back on the reasons why I have managed to stay quit, but in doing that I have to see the reasons I smoked in the first place, so here lies the tale and if you have nothing better to do for the next hour or two then here it is.
If you get bored and want to leave I will completely understand, well it is Christmas Day and you must all have something better to do with your selves, ok bye then, ermmmm that leaves possibly one of you still reading
I smoked for 41 years and from day one it has always been a rebellious act, totally directed at my Mother who tried to discourage me, but at 16 her demands for me not to smoke fell on deaf ears, I honestly believe that the more she remonstrated with me not to smoke the more determined I was to continue, and so a smoker I became, and from that day till the day she died at 77 with Lung Cancer she never again asked me or advised me not to smoke, possibly because she felt as a heavy smoker herself she had no right to expect me to quit something she herself could not give up.
For the first 5/6 years maybe, I did not inhale, the action of drawing smoke into my lungs had the effect of making me cough and wheeze and my eyes would stream and dizziness would engulf me hence the reason for pretending to smoke, my future husband at the time would look at me with bemusement, I knew that although he never commented on my smoking habit I knew he would have preferred me not to smoke, but he being a non smoker didn’t realise the implications of continuing to puff on what was at the time thought to be an excellent stress buster or so we were lead to believe by the tobacco companies and the government.
I will say though that whenever I became pregnant I did stop the dreaded weed, but more or less the instant the child was delivered in too the world I was back on the fags again.
So my life continued and as I said eventually I began to inhale, and it’s really strange but the difference in my enjoyment of the cigs from when I was just taking the smoke into my mouth to when I began to inhale it, didn’t seem to me to be that much difference, I cannot say Oh yes the enjoyment increased, the only change was that I needed more than the 5 or 6 I had always smoked, so there it was, I was now addicted to the dreaded nicotine and would continue to be so for the next 40 years, I do not take off the 11 months that I quit 17 years ago as I didn’t ever during that quit feel happy, I spent the entire 11 months feeling totally bereft wondering why I had quit smoking and waiting for the day I would start again which obviously I did.
We none of us know what is lying round the corner for us, but what we do know is that there is a great possibility that one of the things that could be there if we carry on smoking is cancer, ok if you are like my Mum who used to say you have to die of something, I agree you do but why choose a slow painful option, a choice that will also take away our quality of life before it eventually kills us very painfully by drowning us in our own body fluids, sorry not what you want to hear on this happy Day is it.
So as you all know I took the plunge on Christmas Day 2009, at 9 am I put out my last cigarette knowing that my Mum would be so proud and pleased with me especially as she and my Dad and many, many more relatives died of smoking related diseases.
So I have at last written it down my Year Quit Thread and I hope that if nothing else it has given you a little insight into not only why I need to stay quit, but also to why many more should also make a conscious decision to quit and stay quit.
May all the corners you turn not be riddled with disease and heartache?
And may you all have a fabulous Christmas and the most amazing smoke free 2011, I also hope that 2011 will see thousands more join the road to smoke free.
Last but not least I have to say that without this forum and some of the members I would not and could not have reached this amazing goal of one year of being a non smoker, so thanks again and make a space for me at the Bar in the penthouse.
PS I have spent many hours dreaming up a brilliant thread to post on my one year quit and now you are thinking is that the best she can do, yep it is and to be honest it’s not really that important what we write only that we have achieved whatever it was we set out to do, I set out to stop smoking and here I am one year later and I have stopped, not bad for someone who only intended to quit for a couple of weeks to get over a cold is it.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL