that sneaky nicodemon is playing serious mindgames with me now - for the first few weeks it was telling me that i NEED a cig to survive/function normally. Now its changing tactics. Ive just been sat here minding my own business and typing up some notes and my quit counter flashed up on my desktop automatically. I read that its nearly 900 cigs i havent smoked - then straight away a thought popped into my mind, like a little voice saying ' well youve given your body a good break from smoking now so its okay to start back up again' I swear it almost seemed plausible to me that it would be okay to smoke for a few weeks then quit to give my body a break and keep repeating this. I was so bizarre and it did nearly convince me. But i came on this forum (thankyou for being here) and every letter that i type make the urge a little less strong.
Think its my own fault to be honest because today i was thinking about how well id done lasting 6 weeks but then i started wishing it had been longer - wishing it would go faster so i could say that ive been quit for 6 months or A FULL YEAR. Started feeling a little overwhelmed then and thinking bout been quit for a year made my 6 weeks look really pathetic.But just a funny mood im in and probably nicodemon was behind it as well telling me ill never do it.
Just need to focus on today and take it one day at a time!!!!!!
Never realised how much nicodemon can mess with your thoughts like this - actually am gonna say it as it is !! It is not a demon it just my nicotine receptors in my brain are affecting my thought processes in an attempt to get me to give them their fix again. I can beat this and i will!!!
Rant over with now and do feel a little better - but am a little more nervous at what other mindgames i can expect in future!!!
Amy x x