Wow.. thank God i found this forum.. I have a sounding board to offload on..
Day 26 and I see a different person in the mirror.. my eye balls are white, the chipped nails and cracked skin around them are gone.. its feels so weird.. It is soooo bizzare to actually feel what a deep breath of oxygen feels like..
I feel good.. smoking for 16 years.. an absolute prisoner to the desperation knowing i was down to my last 3 cigarettes..it sounds like madness to a non smoker.. to a smoker..it is all consuming..
I started because it was cool, now.. at my age.. i am an outsider.. my beautiful partner has never smoked, my kids dont understand why i need to step outside every 20 or so minutes..finding excuses to excuse myself to go outside to calm my nerves with a cigarette.
How much longer could i justify the expense, everytime the price of cigarettes went up another dollar..good grief..such denial.
This is my third attempt but the reason is not about the cost, it is not about my health..my reason is ..it's just time.
Noone can make a smoker quit..they have to be ready.. im ready.. I pre apoligised to all my co-workers knowing that my work melt downs were inevitable.. I apoligised to my smoking friends.. i know they are going to miss me..lol.. they can quit too if they really want to re-acquiaint themselves with the new me.. right? ..all in good time..
I like looking at the mirror and seeing a brighter me, maybe the lip color.. a rosey hue may return and replace the years of discoloration on my smokers lips.. who wants to kiss a smoker?
Good luck to everyone wanting to quit, you will lose contact with your smoking friends temporarily whilst you readjust to this new world but it is so well worth it..