Getting more difficult - HELP!!!

Hey there, haven't been on for a few days as not been feeling my usual positive self and didn't want to bring others down with me.

Anyone else finding that 1 month in and it feels more difficult?

My demon and brain are having constant battles with my imagination running riot and trying every trick in the book to get to have a cig..haven't relented yet, but have been sorely tempted....need some help desperately :(

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  • Hi Embo,

    I went through exactly the same thing during the 4-5 week mark. Just stay focussed on what a fabulous achievement getting to a month is and how you'll feel if you caved now. I don't think there are any easy ways to get through this. Just grit your teeth and do whatever you can to keep busy and away from the fags. Why not have a nap if you can spare the time? I do promise you that it passes and you'll be so pleased you didn't cave later.

    Stay strong!!!

    Ed xx

  • Right, now you lot are makeing me cross :mad:

    The whole point of this site is that you come on here when times are tough and moan and get through it with the help of others. If you feel you should stay away cos you're having a rough point then what is the point in the site? So we can all just pat each other on the back for doing so well. I've got people here who can do that for me. I need this site most when I struggle as the people who are there for me know what I am going through and put up with my rants and moans 'knowing' (not just thinking they understand) what I am going through. They don't think badly of me, they don't just turn round and say 'oh, go and have a smoke will you' as a dig. They are there for me. I will always be here (if I am online) for someone who is having a rough patch, it helps reinforce my quit as well as helps them. It reminds me what a god awful hold nicotine has on each and every one of us.

    Please don't stay away of it gets hard.

    And now that my rant is over lol. I too struggled at about 1 mth had a rough few days but got over it, having a couple of cravey days now again but thursdays were bad for me in the first 3 weeks to so just putting it down to that.

    If we give in a smoke now all that will happen is in 2 weeks, 3 mths, 6 or 12 mths however long it takes, we will be back here again, trying to quit again. Or we can just struggle though it as best as we can and come out the otherside a non smoker:D

    Sian

  • If you quit using Allen Carr then think about the bits of his book that touched you the most and felt most real...

    This about WHY you want a cigarette really, I found it amazing that we need a cig to relax when we're smokers (and I don't put that in inverted commas because it obviously DID relax us when we smoked in the past), however, now that we're non smokers we don't NEED that cig to relax becuase if you think about it... we're already relaxed! all the time! Think about when you're not having craves... how gd does that feel huh?

    I felt TOTALLY down between hitting month 1 and hitting month 2... I think it's because hitting month 1 wasn't difficult at all and time flew by... I expected month 2 to fly by also but it didn't feel that way. I guess it was just the elation of quitting passing.

    I can promise you it gets better after you hit month 2. Of course you still might second guess yourself but it'll only be for the tiniest instant! Hang in there and picture how nice it'll be going through the holidays without smoking :)

  • Thanks Ed, SLB and Sian...much appreciated. Don't wanna make you cross Sian, but you know those days when you just wanna wallow in it!!

    Still feel pretty naff, BUT have just found out that I may have a genetic predisposition for emphasama(sp) so good thing I gave up when I did...def no going back now!!

    Chinese, my lovely boyf, rose wine and sleep is what I need xx

  • Embo

    You must come on here when you need a rant hun cos thats what we are all here for and we want to support each other. I for one need to be there for people, and to help make there quit and general life better. You rant, scream, shout, giggle, share as much as you want, good or bad we are here. Now go chill and take things easy. I hope you get your Chinese, rose wine and sleep cos you deserve it.

    Take care and Embo, PM me whenever u want ok. lol

  • Don't wanna make you cross Sian, but you know those days when you just wanna wallow in it!!

    I know exactly what you mean, and you didn't really make me cross, just know that we are all here to support you through the tough bits :D

    Still feel pretty naff, BUT have just found out that I may have a genetic predisposition for emphasama(sp) so good thing I gave up when I did...def no going back now!!

    Blooming great motivation to stay stopped to me :D

    Chinese, my lovely boyf, rose wine and sleep is what I need xx

    Sounds like the recipe for a perfect evening to me hun xx

  • Thanks Sian... you lot are so fab...thanks thanks thanks.

    Jo, have PM'd ya. xx

  • Hey there, haven't been on for a few days as not been feeling my usual positive self and didn't want to bring others down with me.

    Anyone else finding that 1 month in and it feels more difficult?

    My demon and brain are having constant battles with my imagination running riot and trying every trick in the book to get to have a cig..haven't relented yet, but have been sorely tempted....need some help desperately :(

    Oh chick,

    I am sorry, there was me having my own rant, while you were having one too :o

    I wsnt finding it difficult and then some things set me off.

    The nico demon does not like to see us doing well and WILL try everything in is book to trip us up!!

    But you are so strong chick, you are doing so well, he will not beat you, i wont let him !! He will get a mouth full from me ( and believe me i have a big gob lol)

    Go kick his butt hun and enjoy a nice relaxing evening,

    Tomorrow is a new day and another day to add to your quit.

    Snowie xx

  • ahh im glad im not the only one to have that fag moment today lol :( my day was going really well till i had a phonecall from the hospital telling me that my mum was waiting for me to pick her up ehhhh!!!! :eek: so was frantically trying to get her picked up and back home and all i kept thinking was i want a fag i need a fag to calm me down blah blah luckily my daughter was with me so helped calm me down and breathe in and out now im back home and glad i didnt give into that nicoratte devil

    glad you both have managed to pass past that stage too :)

    well done

  • Hi

    Hi embo, just wanted to say well done on nor cracking. I think after the initial novelty wears off, we get a bit confused and think, " I am sick of suffering, I need or want a fag etc" Just accept it as another hurdle, there are going to be lots more. I can understand why you didn't come on here and have a moan before. I have found the positivity overwhelming at times and feel that everyone is doing so well and I am sruggling. I feel ttoo miserable to be upbeat and I don't want to be known as a moan etc. Don't get me wrong, all the posts are great and all help to bolster our quits, but sometimes I wish there were more moans and cries for help. I do love a bit of drama!! The drunken posts are the best. Though they are few as we all know where too much booze leads...

    Anyway, I too am having a post 1 month dip but I read all the positive posts in the forum and it keeps me on the straight and narrow. I have been pleased to see that there have been loads of posts recently from people who are finding it really difficult. So, it is all balancing out nicely. So feel free to scream, rant and rave or just read all the supportive posts from the great people who bother to write and encourage others in the doldrums. Some days the glass is empty and others it is full. Just remember that it has always been that way, when you smoked and now as an abstainer from the drug. This keeps my quit going as during my numerous failed quits , I always noted when I was in a bad mood, or things were going drastically wrong and made a mental note to myself that cigs were not really easing the pressure and I was still having a hard time. So nothing has changed, logically. Good days , bad days. The only added pressure is coming off the most addicitve of drugs!!! It is a rollercoaster ride, but I am starting to enjoy the ups and downs.

    So keep going and ride out those craves. It feels good to be a winner every day.

    Taker care

    xox

  • I'm sorry, but get a grip Michael. No one is wallowing in mutually induced self-indulgence! This is a support forum, and people reading and posting on this site are doing it to help themselves through what has to be said, a bloody tough time. So no, it's not group hysteria, just a bunch of normal people, trying to help each other out, and comments like that aren't helpful.

    Rant over

    Anyway.............Embo, hope you are managing better today. And it is reading posts like yours and others in the month ahead of me that make me realise that I can do it too.

    Keep going xx

  • Anger issues?

    Hey Michael, I feel I am wasting my time responding to you as you seem to love an argument and you don't seem seem able to empathise with the feelings of others. All I meant was that , as Rachel so rightly says, this is a support forum, so anything goes, even antagonistic people like yourself. I have failed many times to quit smoking and wish that I had come onto the forum and asked for help in the crucial moments. The great thing is, I know that I would have got the support that just might have stopped me lighting the "slippery slope" fag. I think your idea of group hysteria is way off the mark - I reckon it is people putting bunches of flowers for days on end at the scene of a tragedy involving someone thay didn't even know. Or a Take That concert. Feeling lost, anxious and alone due to combatting a drug addiction is not "wallowing in self pity", it is a harsh reality that we all face from time to time. Hence the forum is a Godsend. I really appreciate the chance to moan a bit about the whole quitting thing as my personal life would probably be a disaster if I didn't have this outlet. We are all aiming towards the same goal and this forum should be used as an aid to getting there. If all the posts were positive, the strugglers would feel that they have to hide their suffering instead of asking for help. That would be a shame indeed.

    p.s I felt like having a fag when I read your post. But I realised that this would merely be an act borne out of hysteria and managed to restrain myself!

  • I really do empathise its 31 days for me. I feel those cravings too. Ive taken up crochet. Stay strong, please dont have a dreaded cig. We have worked hard to get this far. Try and take your mind off it. Easier said then done I know! You can do this, stay strong.

    Jojo

  • O dear ive walked into a debate, that will teach me to read things first!

  • and so it begins again.

  • Well gee thanks Michael (Sorry Embo on your thread). I could have really done with some encouragement tonight, but can see that you are online and you have responded to other threads in your usual way and have also joined our NAS group, so I won't post in the week 2 thread as I would have done. Thanks......

    Oh, and just wondered why you are so antagonistic with everyone, is it because you are not really giving up smoking? Were you ever a smoker, or are you just enjoying annoying people on here?? If i'm wrong I apologise, but that is how you are coming across.

  • OK Michael. Then try being a little more understanding to other people's plights then. You've picked some fights (although maybe not meaning to??) with a few people in here. Maybe you shouldn't force your opinion down people's throats, and just tell us how you (not your girlfriend) feel at the particular moment in time that you post. We've joined here to support each other, not to wind people up and try to look better than them by posting big words, and taking the mick out of their posts.

    1318, even bigger wow!!!!

    Loser

  • Oh Michael, I hate to resort to a slanging match, but just go eat some sprouts.

    I know what i'm talking about cos I haven't had a fag for 13 days. For someone who apparently gave up in November also, you seem remarkably smug and self assured. Why don't you come back in a years time when you've supposedly given up properly, and then you can give us some of your fantastic advice :rolleyes:

  • I don't think I need you help thanks michael. I would rather lean on all the quitters that I believe in on here thanks.

    And I'd just like to say, to Jo, Snowie, Rachel, Karen and all you other October quitters...........thank you very much....I may not know you, but you all have inspired me very very much. (Oh and Jamangie and Sian too) xx

    (And obviously my NAS quitters too) xx

    And michael, please do not pm me again...I do not appreciate it..ty

  • Op - don't shy away when having your bad days. We all get them and if it was 'that' easy there wouldn't be NHS driven campaigns and support, websites, groups, nicotene replacement therapy, medications, forums, blogs etc etc.

    If it was easy none of us would be here right?

    If coming on here and communicating your bad times with people makes the difference between having or not having a ciggie. Then by all means - moan away.

    If we all sat here basking in our own glory about how wonderful quitting was and how well we were doing it wouldn't be an accurate reflection of the truth....and that truth is that the action of giving up is easy but it's hard to break an addiction, it's hard to break a habit.

    Imagine someone coming on for the first time who's struggling only to find stories of how perfectly easy it all was and large rounds of group back-slapping and congratulations......don't know about you but I would end up wondering what the hell was wrong with me!!!

    My opinion, for what it's worth. We are here for the good times....and the bad :)

  • Hi Michael, that is the best thing you said to date ("I will say no more"). I am sure you are a man of your word, so please do not reply to this, not until you start learning some courtesy and respect and have dropped the arrogant attitude.

    If you were questioning my motivation for wishing to hear cries for help etc then, then please refer to Looper's explanation which I think sums up the function of this forum precisely. The "drama" comment which you so kindly quoted was meant as a joke (please refer to a dictionary for the meaning as you are obviously not familiar with it) and to ease the feelings of embarassment that can arise when we spill our guts on a public forum. Hope this clears matters up. Please do not pm me as I wish to have no communication with you from now on. I only commented just now because you have behaved in such a rude way to other posters and therefore I would be morally bereft if I said nothing. Adieu.

  • It is a real shame to see this degenerating to this level. I think perhaps avoiding each other is best, after all this is supposed to be a supportive forum, and this attitude is hardly supportive.

    Such a shame, as people picking on each other and lowering to name calling simply ruins the forum for everyone.

    Embo - hope you are doing ok now, have had a good weekend and picked yourself up!

    And I do have to say Michael has been nothing but supportive of me, and I have only seen one or two postings by him that maybe could be taken as unsupportive, text on a screen can easily be taken out of context as there is no expression behind it (hence the use of emoticons). A joke without a smile appears offensive - like the quote of Michaels saying loser - was shown earlier and I was shocked that anyone would maliciously call someone else a loser, until I looked up the ACTUAL message and saw this :D after the loser.

    Loser :D or Loser ;) looks very different to Loser :mad: to me.

    Anyway, hopefully not adding more flame to the fire here, just thought it was a shame to see attacks on a support forum.

  • Thanks for hijacking my post Michael - could you not have posted elsewhere? I am 1 month today but tbh don't feel like posting as someone may use my post as a launch pad to antagonise others....:mad:

  • Yay Embo!

    Was all worried as had not seen you post for a little while. Hope you are doing ok now, and had a good weekend.

  • Thanks matey...was computerless for the weekend, and probably a good thing too..looks like I have missed a real hum-dinger of a barney...:D

  • LOL Embo, I was away too until yesterday :)

    Just glad you are back and doing well, unfortunately the nature of the beast with forums - no tone of voice or context makes arguments part of the game!

  • Hi Embo

    Well done on 1 month and hope you are finding it a little easier now. :)

    Sorry for getting involved on your post, I was having a day where I could easily have chewed off someones arm for a fag :o. So apoligies if I upset anyone. I do appreciate the support in here.

    Here's to your next month xx

  • No probs Rachel, wasn't getting at you :p... just some people on here know that they rub people up the wrong way and cause controversy, and considering that people are probably highly volatile and emotional right now, it's just not helpful...:(

  • hi embo

    well done on reaching month 1 :D

    hope your weekend went well without the computer

    regards carol

  • btw..bit confused...when do I start posting on Month 2? After 1 month and a day or after 8 weeks?:confused:

  • Well done embo :) that's amazing, 1 month feels so good!

    You start posting in month 2 as soon as you hit month 1... because it'll help you through your second month (if that makes sense) :)

  • Well done embo :) that's amazing, 1 month feels so good!

    You start posting in month 2 as soon as you hit month 1... because it'll help you through your second month (if that makes sense) :)

    Sorry to butt in SLB,

    Are we saying then once I get to 1 calender month with no smokes I start to post in month 2?

    Seems such a shame I have only just got here!! :p

  • yup, that's it.. you don't post in thread sections which you've already 'completed' but rather the one you might need 'help' for...

    Eitherway, you can actually post anywhere you like! It's just the 'moving' up which feels great :D

  • I suppose there is no harm in sharing my exceptional wit and humour with those in the 2 month section as well!!!! ;)

  • Hi Embo,

    Well done on completing one month. Yippee! :D

    I'll be following you up to post in month two at the weekend.

    Trandem x

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