Hello to day 12, who are you now?

Hi all,

as you can probably tell by my nickm I seem to have identity problems associated with the quit :(

Who am I really without the cigarettes? All of my adult life they have been with me, a constant companion, they ARE me. It is so weird to be without them.

It is like, even if not public anymore, the smokes were totally part of me, what is going to fill that void?

Curious situation yesterday online. Chatting with an old friend. I so proudly tell her that I'm on day 11 of quit and all she says, "good for you". That's it. No oh wow how cool congrats whatever excitement. Just a flat, gfy and nothing else. I know she smokes as well and has been forever. So I thought a little sympathy from ONE of the people I know would be good. Hmmmmmmm, weird no?

It almost felt like her saying: oh ok, now you TOO are going to the other side and will be against me....

Anybody make such experiences with friends?

7 Replies

  • Hello :)

    Firstly well done on day 11!!! brilliant!!

    And yes i have had that experience too with people, the biggest one that i remember was when i posted on facebook that i had reached a week ( back in march not this time) and my friends were telling me well done.... then one friend put.................

    " Im sitting here now with my coffee and having a cigarette and enjoying it so much, you dont know what you are missing"

    Maybe it was a bit of jealously because i was doing well? or maybe was just being damn right hurtful!!!

    This time around, i have not really posted about it on facebook!

    Yes we maybe going to the other side, but what a better side it is!!!

    Stay strong and post your achievements on here instead!! You know you will get a round of applause on here and that much needed "big it up" its what makes us stronger.


  • ........Anybody make such experiences with friends?

    Oh yes... Just few days ago a friend who had also quit, but 4 years ago, asked me how long I've been quit. When I proudly mentioned 7 weeks, she said "oh, not so long ago then". What a downer that was for me being all chuffed about my weeks :/

    One other thing I've experienced is that I used to get a lot of "bad publicity" about smoking... nasty comments from non-smoking collegues etc. So, proud me, thought that I won't tell anyone about quitting until they blurt out an annoying comment again... well almost 8 weeks later I am still waiting for those comments and my "moment of revenge". Bah!

    In the end... who cares! Its your choice, your quit and you know you are doing well, so sod the rest of em :)

  • I know the feeling.

    My sister who smokes really heavy has not even asked how I'am doing.

    Also the people who have never smoked think it's not so hard.

    I am on day 13 and going ok it is getting better.But like everone I have to keep my wits about me as it would be so easy just have one.

    good luck to all we know how hard it is.


  • Hi not me, perhaps you need a new name now, one with more positive overtones.

    You are doing really well, and try to ignore so called friends that are not 100% behind you for a time, I think deep down they are jealous of your quit. I certainly encountered the same thing several times over the last year and I use to get really upset, but then decided like you to just concentrate on quitting.

    Keep posting on here , this forum is the best support you will get, here others understand how hard it is to do this.

    Keep going and well done

    Dee :)

  • hi NotMe, i'm with you on the identity problem username, fact is my password is even worse!! still it's a good reminder of how i was feeling when i joined this site at the start of the quit and i find that memory useful.

    on the comments from friends side i found this entry on woofmang a good read, hope you do too, 5mol<er

  • Hi,

    I remember that feeling, when a friend said I have stopped smoking. It is a purely selfish reaction.

    Oh no, who is going to accompany me when I have to go smoke next time. I think I have even lost friends when they stopped smoking, mainly because they drifted away after they no longer accompany me to the smoking shelter.

    I have hardly told anyone I have stopped. I am just leaving it up to them to realise and if they don't then well, well. I am proud of myself, I am relishing my new found energy, money and health. I love going home to a fresh smelling house, in a fresh smelling car.

    ....oh and I feel sorry for those who are still having to go out in the freezing cold to smoke, that still smell of smoke and that are still destroying their life with the dreadful poison. :-)

  • Oh thanks for all your replies, :) appreciate it!!

    I have one other friend I chatted with who was a bit reserved. She says she stopped smoking 5 years ago, but I remember when I visit her she loved to smoke inside the house (which I haven't done for 10 years) when I visited cause she could say it was me who smoked... she's also been hooked on nicotine gum for 5 years ;)

    But anyway, another day here!! Feeling quite good about this. More and more it becomes clear it really is just my own business and my happiness, nobody else's. Fight yesterday with hubby and I didn't even want to smoke afterwards. That was rather odd, I caught myself waiting for wanting LOL... not bad, I went for a walk in the forest (which would have been my usual escape to smoke then) and just hiked and it was grande :) :)

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